Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them.
Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you overcome your fear of being judged. Simply click here to connect with one via BetterHelp.com.
Do you live in fear of judgment?
Do you constantly worry what other people think about you?
Does this fear and anxiety negatively impact how you live your life?
If so, we’ve got some truths coming your way that will drive that fear out.
The more you can confront the thoughts you have, the less those thoughts will pop into your head, and the less influence they’ll have over your life.
Are you ready?
1. You are enough.
You’ve probably heard this before, but have you actually stopped to think about what it means?
You – the person you are today, the person you were yesterday, and the person you’ll be tomorrow – are not lacking anything.
You are not deficient, not broken, and not incomplete.
You are enough.
Sure, you have flaws (and we’ll get to those), but these do not make you less than anyone else.
“I am enough.” – say this to yourself when you wake up every morning, and anytime you feel that fear of judgment rising inside of you.
2. You are way harder on yourself than others will be.
Listen, we get it, there are parts of yourself that you don’t particularly like.
Everybody feels the same.
But no matter how you think others will judge you, you have already judged yourself way harder.
If you realize this, it can be quite liberating.
There really isn’t anything anyone can say that you haven’t already said to yourself.
3. Judgments by people you don’t know are irrelevant.
Are you concerned with what strangers think about you?
Just stop for a second and ask yourself why.
You’re never going to interact with these people. They may look at you walking down the street or sitting across from you on the subway… but that’s where it ends.
They walk past, you get off the train, and Poof! they disappear from your life.
What they may or may not have thought about you has absolutely zero influence over your life because they are no longer in it.
4. Judgments by people you’ve just met are temporary.
It’s a shame, really, but it’s also a natural response.
What a person looks like, what they sound like when introducing themselves, how firm or floppy their handshake is – we make instantaneous judgments based on first impressions.
But first impressions don’t last. As important as they are made out to be, it’s what comes after that matters most.
And as people get to know you, it’s highly likely that any negative initial perceptions they had will soften and disappear.
Most people are inclined to like others rather than dislike them. It’s just easier that way.
So, however you think they might have judged you in the beginning, they are now looking for things to like about you – of which there is plenty, no doubt.
5. Judgments don’t always influence how a person interacts with you.
Even if someone does maintain a particular judgment about you, it doesn’t always make a difference to how they treat you.
We can have these thoughts about others and yet maintain a perfectly good relationship with them.
We may even really like them, in spite of our judgments.
So your fear of being judged needn’t always extend to a fear of how you will then be treated.
They are two different things.
6. Judgments can be positive too.
Have you ever stopped to think that people might be judging you positively?
Yes, judgment is not inherently negative. We just assume that when someone judges us, they are pinpointing something they don’t like about us.
In reality, many of the judgments we make are about things we do like in a person.
We admire their determination, we find them attractive, we are in awe at how well they can work a room.
You may not think so, but you have plenty of traits that others think highly of.
Don’t allow your fear of being negatively judged prevent you from being open to positive judgments.
7. People will judge you one way or another.
Those people who can’t help but judge others – they’ll find a way to judge you whatever you do.
So here’s the question you have to ask yourself: would you prefer to be judged for being your true self, or the self you try to project to the world?
The answer should be easy.
Why would you want to be judged for something that isn’t really you?
You wouldn’t, right?
If you’re going to be judged, you might as well show the world who you really are, and to hell with what they think.
It’s a darn sight easier to be yourself, after all.
8. A person’s judgment is a reflection of their own insecurities.
When someone judges you, it’s important to recognize where that judgment comes from.
In truth, their judgment of you is merely a reflection of something they dislike about themselves.
It might not be the exact thing that they are judging you for, but there’s a niggling insecurity somewhere beneath the surface that’s infiltrating their thoughts.
They have a pain point and it causes them to seek out the pain points in others so that they can feel less alone in their hurt.
Oftentimes, if you are yourself, people will judge you because they are jealous. They wish they could be their authentic self, but their own fear of judgment prevents them from showing it.
9. Most people are too busy fighting their own battles to care.
Life is hard and people are often consumed by the challenges they face in their lives.
Any judgments they may make about you are no more than passing thoughts before their mind returns to the things that truly trouble them.
Just ask yourself when the last time was that you spent any great length of time thinking nasty, judgmental thoughts about someone – outside of your close personal relationships, perhaps (people have fights, after all).
The little judgments we make mean so little to us in the grand scheme of our days.
They float away in our thought streams and pass out of sight.
Why fear these fleeting and insignificant thoughts of others?
In truth, it’s you who holds onto these judgments far longer than anyone else.
10. Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.
The above words were spoken by Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones.
They contain a very important message and a lesson we all need to learn.
Yes, we are flawed creatures. No one is perfect. Those who project a perfect facade have just as many cracks and blemishes under the surface.
But when you truly come to terms with those flaws, no one can make you feel bad by attacking them.
You have already accepted that they are a part of you (at least, right now – personal growth should not be ignored).
A person’s judgments – even their harsh words – will fall on deaf ears because you are at peace with the things they seek to target.
11. Just block the haters.
If there is someone who really wishes to hurt you by attacking you, the best thing you can do is to block them.
Remove them from your life in any way you can.
Remove them from your social media.
Refuse to engage with them in person.
Avoid seeing them altogether if you can.
Haters gonna hate – let them. That’s their pain talking, so don’t listen.
12. Humiliation and ridicule are rare.
If you fear being judged, you probably fear being humiliated or ridiculed too.
Truth is, it is highly unlikely that anything you do will result in these things.
You fear the moment when all eyes turn to you as you do something excruciatingly embarrassing.
That moment is not coming. It’s just a part of your imagination.
It’s such a rarity that it’s not worth getting worried about. Do you walk out the house and worry about getting struck by lightning? Because that is probably more likely.
13. The approval of others won’t make you truly happy or peaceful.
The opposite side of the coin to fearing judgment is seeking approval.
We don’t want to be judged – we want others to approve of us and validate our existence.
We want to feel worthy of being liked and loved.
But here’s the kicker: that approval you seek won’t bring you the happiness or inner peace you seek.
That can only come from within. No one can say or do anything to impart lasting happiness and contentment on you.
This is especially true if what is being approved of isn’t the real you anyway.
14. If you can stop judging others, you’ll stop fearing judgment.
Maybe you are so concerned about the negative judgments of others because are often the source of similar judgment.
If you look at people and see the worst in them, you’ll worry that the worst is what people are seeing in you.
If all you see is the flaws in a person, you’ll worry that your flaws are all others see in you.
So to break free from your fear of being judged, you must try to kick the habit of judging others.
Every time a judgmental thought creeps into your mind, challenge it by looking for something positive about the person in question.
If you can reduce the judgments you have about others, you’ll worry less about what other people might be thinking about you.
15. If you can stop judging yourself, you’ll stop fearing judgment.
The source of your fear is inside of you.
You see your flaws and you judge yourself harshly for them.
But this internal monologue extends into your interactions with the world.
You judge yourself and you expect that others must be judging you too.
Thus, by subduing your need to judge yourself, you’ll stop believing that others are judging you as well.
Again, it comes down to challenging your thoughts as they arise in your mind.
When a self-judgment springs up, provide a counter argument by focusing on something you like about yourself.
This will help to break the habit of self-loathing thoughts and thus overcome the fear you have of being judged by others.
Still not sure how to stop feeling judged by others? Speak to a therapist today who can walk you through the process. Simply click here to connect with one of the experienced therapists on BetterHelp.com.
You may also like:
- How To Be Less Judgmental And Stop Judging People (And Yourself) So Harshly
- 11 Signs You’re Being Too Hard On Yourself (And 11 Ways To Stop)
- How To Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin: 17 No Bullsh*t Tips!
- How To Not Care What People Think