14 Reasons You’re A Lone Wolf Who Prefers Solitude Over Socializing

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What makes you crave alone time so much?

Do you want to be alone most of the time? Do you prefer solitude to social interaction? You’re certainly not the only one. And it’s totally okay to feel this way. But have you ever wondered why you enjoy your alone time so much? Here are some potential reasons.

1. You’re an introvert.

It is likely that you are a highly introverted individual. You find social interaction far less rewarding than an extrovert might because your brain is very sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine, which leads to overstimulation with prolonged social exposure. At the same time, you find your alone time to be very rewarding because your brain reacts positively to the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which provides a calming type of happiness.

2. You’re a low-energy person.

You have limited supplies of physical and mental energy. You aren’t an overly active individual in general. This doesn’t have to mean you are unfit or unhealthy—you can still do regular exercise, but you then have to ensure you have time to rest and recuperate. Whereas some people seem to feel more energized by activity, your mantra after anything physically strenuous is: “And relax….”

3. You get to do the things you want to do.

Many social situations require an element of compromise. With two or more people, you aren’t always going to be able to go to your favorite restaurant or see the movie you want to see. And as much as you can compromise when necessary, you simply prefer not to when given the choice. Being alone means you can choose precisely what you want to do at any given moment. And that’s the way you like it.

4. You prefer peace and quiet.

You are quite happy to be in silence. But silence is a rare thing these days. As soon as you add another person to the mix, the peace you enjoy is shattered. The other person doesn’t even have to talk to you for their presence to affect you. The fact that they are close by means you don’t feel able to completely relax. Only when you are completely alone can you get the peace you long for.

5. You’re a deep thinker.

The peace and quiet you often seek allows you to sit and really think about things. And this is something you actually enjoy doing. Whilst many people don’t like to be alone with their thoughts, you find a little introspection quite relaxing. Likewise, you get a bit of a buzz from trying to find answers to those deep and meaningful questions about life and the universe.

6. You do your best work alone.

You need time alone to concentrate on your work. You are far more productive when holed up in your home office than you are when other people are close by. You find it difficult to zone out from all the distractions around you—the talking, the questions, the sounds of people working. Only when you’re alone can you reach that flow state where you do your best work.

7. You don’t do drama.

In your mind, too many people spend too much of their time engaged in unnecessary drama. They argue and gossip about who did what, who insulted who, why so-and-so is a bad person, and how they are the righteous party. This sort of thing just doesn’t interest you… at all. You don’t do drama. It’s just a waste of energy. So, to avoid drama, you tend to avoid people—at least, most people.

8. You dislike superficial interactions with people.

There’s something very unsatisfying to you about those surface-level interactions other people seem to enjoy. Small talk, conversations about random things of seemingly little consequence, even the gossip and petty arguments described above. You just feel that your time is better spent on other things. Not to mention how awkward it can feel to have to pretend to be interested.

9. You are very emotionally independent.

You don’t feel the need to be around people all the time. You are your own source of happiness. You don’t experience the wild rollercoaster of emotions that many others do. It’s more of a gentle up and down for you. You are quite capable of working through your own problems and getting out of a less-than-positive mood. You don’t need someone else’s help.

10. You feel burdened by the emotional baggage of others.

Despite being so emotionally independent, you actually find the negative emotional expressions of other people to be quite challenging. It feels like a weight has been placed upon your shoulders to try to help them feel better. This is especially the case if you are an empath. Then, the emotions of others are easily absorbed and difficult to block, and so spending time alone can be the easiest way to preserve your emotional balance.

11. You feel quite content with your life.

You simply don’t feel the need to spend all your time doing things and seeing people. You are quite happy doing what you do by yourself. You certainly don’t suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) because you can’t imagine enjoying other things as much as you enjoy being by yourself. This makes it easy for you to say no to things that others invite you to.

12. You simply don’t like a lot of people.

You spend a lot of time alone because, for you at least, most other people don’t seem like they are worth knowing. There are many reasons why you might not like most people: a bad experience from your past, you think people are shallow, self-absorbed, and selfish, you can’t look past their flaws, you see people making bad choices all the time and it frustrates you.

13. You feel more at ease in your own company.

Being ‘at ease’ literally means that it is easier to be alone than it is to have social interactions. Why? Because there is no pressure on you to act a certain way, conform to social etiquette, or wear a mask. And because you don’t have to worry about what other people think of you and whether they are enjoying themselves.

14. You dislike getting too close to people.

You worry about becoming too emotionally close to another person and the risk that poses. After all, it is only when you feel a lot for someone that they can really hurt you with their actions. If you have social anxiety, you may actually prefer to keep conversations superficial because this allows you to keep your guard up and prevent a true emotional connection from forming.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.