You Know It’s Real Love When You Think These 13 Things

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Is it the real deal?

There are many things to love about a person – their eyes, their smile, and the way it feels when they hold your hand. What about how confident they make you feel and the fact that they push you to do your best?

If yours is a real love, it’s likely you think and feel these 13 things about your partner.

1. I feel comfortable around you.

One of the main reasons why I love you is because after years of feeling awkward and embarrassed, I finally feel as though I can be myself.

I don’t have to hide anything and I don’t have to pretend to love something I secretly hate. I can wear clothes that I like without worrying about looking ‘sexy’ or ‘cute’ – I always feel comfortable around you. You let me be myself, and you love me for it, not in spite of it.

2. You remember the small things.

Another thing I love about you is that you pay attention to detail.

You get my coffee order perfect every time, and you surprise me at work with it. I don’t need grand gestures, I just need someone who cooks my favorite meal when I’ve had a bad day, and sends me photos of the cute dogs they see. I love that you remember the best ways to cheer me up, and that you know exactly who my best friend was dating three years ago. It means so much that you listen to me.

3. You help me feel confident.

The reason why I love you so much is because knowing that you’re in love with me makes me feel like I can do anything.

I love myself, too, but your care and attention definitely helps! You remind me that I can do whatever I put my mind to. You boost my confidence when I’m feeling nervous, and you make me feel attractive and interesting when I’m feeling bad about myself. I don’t need to rely on you to feel good about myself, but I always know that you’ll make me feel better if I need a little helping hand.

4. You make me want to succeed.

I love you because you make me want to do, and be, better.

You inspire me to achieve more, on every level. I want to do these things for myself, firstly, but also to make you proud. I want to be successful, and I know that I get to define what that word means for me. Your confidence in my abilities encourages me to work harder and push myself. I love that you will never be embarrassed by how hard I work, and will never try to dim my light. You’ll never be intimidated by how good I am at my job, or how hard I train at the gym. My success is your success.

5. You have encouraged good habits.

Something I really love about you is you’ve helped me develop much better habits, and I’m so much happier and healthier for them.

You’ve reminded me how important self-care is, and you’ve helped me work on my physical and mental health. Nothing is ‘TMI’ and I know you won’t judge me for any struggles I have. You make me want to be healthy, and strong, and you’ve shown me how to get there. I love that you want me to live my best life, and I know that you will always support me in developing good habits.

6. I feel like I’m ‘enough.’

Feeling like I am worthy of being loved as I am and for who I am is such a big reason why I love you.

Life can get pretty overwhelming at times, and I have periods of constantly comparing myself to others. Instagram and Facebook make me feel so inadequate sometimes – why am I not fitter, why don’t I meal-prep, how are my friends affording these apartments, and when is it my turn to have a baby?! You gently remind me that I am not any of these people – I am myself and I am enough. I don’t need to do all of these things, go to all of these places, and do what everyone else does. I can, if I want to, but I am still worthy if I don’t.

7. You love that I love myself.

I genuinely believe that self-love is the most important love there is, and you fully support me in this. That’s why I love you.

You know that I will always love myself, and you never try and compete with that. My relationship with myself is the longest one I’ve ever been in, and it takes a lot of work. You let me explore my personality and looks, and you are happy when I feel good, confident and love myself. I love you, but I also love myself.

8. You’re always curious.

I love you because you are filled with this insatiable curiosity.

Not just about me, but about everything. I love how much you want to learn about the world – about tiny things I’d never even think about and about global issues. You’re my favorite person to spend time with because you never stop asking questions! You want to know how everything works, how things are made, and every single ingredient in the new craft beer you just discovered. I love that you have a huge list of things that intrigue you, and I especially love that I’m at the top of it.

9. You understand why I need alone-time.

Another thing I love about you is that you give me plenty of “me time.”

Some partners don’t respect personal space, and don’t understand why being independent is so important. I love that you let me nourish myself and create an environment for me to grow in…You understand how important it is to me that I want to do things for myself, and you don’t get angry when I don’t want to spend all my time with you. We’re together, but I still need to be independent.

10. You care about my past.

You probably don’t realize this, but one of the reasons why I love you is because you have taken the time to find out about my childhood and my family.

It means a lot to me that you’re so interested in my background and how it has formed who I am now. I love how much you wanted to meet my family and old friends. You’re always intrigued by my habits and where all my strange sayings have come from. You love hearing about the old nicknames I used to have, and it melted my heart to see you sat with my parents looking at my baby photos.

11. You care about my future.

Another core reason why I’m in love with you is because you want to hear all about my dreams and goals.

You know that you’re in my future plans, but you also want to know what I want for myself. I love that you will always support how ambitious I am, and that you’re so invested in helping me make my dreams come true. You can’t wait to see how all of my projects work out, and I love you for your enthusiasm and encouragement. Thank you for supporting my dreams and for never telling me that I’m aiming too high.

12. I can totally trust you.

I know that my love for you is real because it is built on genuine and well-founded trust.

In the past, I’ve been in relationships that make me feel insecure. I hate being ‘needy’ or ‘clingy,’ and I don’t want to be the annoying partner who messages you constantly when you’re out. With you, I don’t need to check in constantly, and I don’t need to know if your friend ‘Sam’ is a boy or a girl! I trust you, and I know that I’m right to. I love that I don’t feel insecure every time you ‘like’ someone else’s Instagram photo, or if you have a night out with your friends. Thank you for making me so comfortable, confident and content in ‘us.’

13. You remind me of what’s really important.

The last thing on my list of reasons why I love you is that you keep me grounded.

I can get very stressed about work, and I find changes in my life upsetting. Some days, I feel consumed with anger or frustration about things that aren’t really that important. You remind me of the things that truly matter – my health, my friends and family, and my dreams. I love that you can ground me and give me a reality check, while still acknowledging that my feelings are valid. You gently remind me to think about the bigger picture by remembering the small things.

About The Author

Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing.