This is for those days when you feel vulnerable, lacking in confidence, and unworthy of love; those times when you sense threats to your happiness all around. This is for all those moments when, for some unexplained reason, you feel like you’re not enough, or that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.
This is for the occasions where every thought in your head is driven by fear; for all those doubts, self-defeating beliefs, and devaluing ideas.
There is no shame in feeling this way…that’s the first thing you need to tell yourself. You are not alone in experiencing insecurity; it’s never wished for, but it can sneak up and strike just about anyone.
When that wave of unease crashes over you, the world can suddenly seem like an altogether more frightening place to be. A mix of ingredients can create scenarios that intimidate and overwhelm you, even if you’ve not batted an eyelid at similar situations in the past. There’s an element of danger that you can quite put your finger on.
It’s as if someone has turned up the dial for malevolence – or at least in your eyes. It feels like you’ve come under siege from some unseen enemy who wishes to strike deep at the heart of your self confidence.
You look around, hoping to spy this unnamed foe, but your efforts go unrewarded; you just can’t pin down any reason why you should feel so apprehensive and unsure of yourself.
That’s because insecurity is most often a trick of the mind; a fantasy born out of some unjustified and unreasoned fear of the outside. It may not have a single, clear cause, but rather be the culmination of countless tiny thoughts, ideas, and events acting like individual sticks that mount up to stop the flow of a river.
When the river within your mind gets dammed, the normal flow of mental energy comes to a halt. As it pools behind the blockage, it floods out into the recesses of your psyche where it can manifest in several forms – insecurity being one of the main ones.
To stay afloat in this directionless stream of mental energy, you first have to find something to cling onto – a positive thought, a funny memory, or an upbeat dream for the future. This will act as your emergency life raft, giving you safety among the waters around you.
But you can’t live on this raft for the rest of your life; you must get the river back to its normal course so that this insecure feeling can subside with the floodwaters.
First, you must breathe – slowly and deliberately – to stem the flow of thoughts and energy that form the river in your mind. Focus only on your breath and your mental life raft; as other notions try to force their way into your consciousness, simply acknowledge them and redouble your focus on these two things.
Once some semblance of calm has fallen on your mind, it’s time to switch your attention from the internal realm to the external reality we live in. Notice the world around you – the people, the sights, the sounds, the natural world, the man-made structures – but do nothing but perceive it. Do not judge, do not question, don’t even think about what you are seeing. Just watch life as it happens from your very personal perspective.
What do you see? More importantly, what do you not see? It is likely that you will not see any threats, you will not see danger; you will just see your surroundings. You will see that you are safe and secure, and that the enemy you were so scared of was nothing but a construct of your imagination.
This realization is the beginning of the end for the mental dam that is preventing your regular flow. It’s like a gust of wind that pushes its way through your mind, blowing against the blockage of thoughts, worries, and doubts until it is dislodged and destroyed.
With the way cleared, the river can once again begin to rise to its normal levels as you regain your composure and your capacity for rational thought. The belief you have in yourself will grow again and you will remember just how strong, unique, and deserving of happiness you are.
You are a resilient, capable, beautiful person who can overcome any challenge presented by life. You have survived this far and you will survive whatever the future may hold. You may face tough times and the river may once again become blocked, but the ability to clear the path is within you; the solution lies in a calm mind and open eyes.
Never forget that you have control, even when it doesn’t always seem that way.
Please leave a comment below if this article has helped ease your feeling of insecurity.