13 signs you’ve stopped caring what people think of you (in a good way)

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Some people have crippling social anxiety and spend most of their time wondering what others think of them.

Not you, though.

You couldn’t care less.

Whether you’ve always been this way or you’ve gradually come not to care, here are the signs that show you don’t really give a crap what others think of you:

1. Your appearance isn’t dictated by trends or expectations.

You are not a slave to fashion trends. Heck, you may not even know what’s “hot” or what the latest fad is when it comes to hair, makeup, or accessories.

And you certainly don’t pander to expectations based on your age, ethnic background, or anything else.

You are unapologetically yourself in every sense of the word, and none of these limitations apply you to.

You’ll be dyeing your hair purple at the age of 80, or dressing like a 1930s gangster because you love pinstripes and bowler hats.

If other people don’t like how you look, that’s their problem—not yours!

2. You don’t compare yourself to other people.

You recognize that every individual is on their own journey, and as such you can’t compare apples to wombats.

A person may not be impressed by your career or fitness level, but they might not be able to speak as many languages as you do, nor fly a plane, nor any of the other skills that you have under your belt.

And that’s OKAY.

The world would be an incredibly boring place if we were all the same, and there are few situations in which we’re in real competition with one another.

You do what you love, as do they, and that’s the end of it.

Extra reading: How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: 5 Tips To Break The Habit

3. Others’ observations and opinions have no effect on you.

When someone says something bad about you, their remarks don’t touch you at all.

In fact, you may even be amused by them.

You don’t feel hurt if someone insults you because you don’t exist for their benefit, and their preferences certainly don’t have any impact on your life choices.

Someone doesn’t approve of something you enjoy, or thinks that you’re stupid because your life choices differ from theirs?

Why on Earth would you care?

If someone doesn’t matter to you, their opinions certainly won’t either.

In fact, even the opinions of people you do care about don’t really matter to you. You are who you are, you like what you like, and if they have a problem with that, they can go kick rocks.

4. Who you are matters more than what you look like.

You don’t spend ages agonizing over every tiny detail of your appearance.

You know that time is something you can never get back, so you don’t worry about such trivial things.

What matters to you is who you are: your values, your dreams, your treatment of others. These are your primary concerns when it comes to the way you behave and the choices you make.

You have far better things to do than fret over whether your makeup is perfect, or if someone thinks your outfit is hideous.

Extra reading: How To Stop Being Vain: 6 No Nonsense Tips!

5. Your social circle is comprised of people you care about, not high-status accessories.

You reject the idea of “status by association” and have no desire to weasel your way into a social circle full of elites or celebrities just to be considered high value as well.

You don’t care what others think about your social habits, so you surround yourself with people you like and appreciate.

You care about these folks for who they are, not how they look or what they do.

You don’t ostracize others for aspects like age, race, or disability, but rather embrace those with whom you “click” on a fundamental level.

6. You place priorities and self-respect over other people’s wants and expectations.

Self-care is important to you, and you may have a schedule that you adhere to in order to prioritize it.

For example, you may use Friday evenings to decompress from your work week with a sauna, your favorite take-out, and an early bedtime.

Along comes someone who decides that they expect you to show up for some gathering and expresses how disappointed they’ll be if you don’t meet their expectations.

Additionally, they imply that others will think poorly of them if you don’t make an appearance. The phrase “do it for me” may arise, along with guilt trips and manipulation.

Your response to this kind of behavior is likely going to be a whole lotta nope.

You might have considered going if they had approached you with courtesy and respect, but simply expecting you to show up for fear of embarrassing or upsetting them?


In fact, you’re comfortable saying a firm “no” to anything that doesn’t fuel or serve you.

7. You’re not driven by external validation.

When a person doesn’t care what others think, there’s no need for validation from anyone other than the self.

Your self-esteem is solid, regardless of how much praise you receive, or what accolades and awards you earn.

If other people don’t think you’re the best, that’s fine: that’s their perspective and they’re entitled to it.

They might not admire mountains either, but the mountains aren’t about to crumple in shame about it, are they? They’re magnificent as they are, and admiration (or lack thereof) won’t affect them in the least.

Extra reading: How To Validate Yourself: 6 Tips For Self-Validation

8. You know that others’ thoughts are about them, rather than you.

You understand that a person’s reactions (and responses) to situations say a lot about what’s going on inside them.

So, if someone thinks poorly of you or feels the need to insult you, that’s more than likely because they have a lot going on inside.

They may be projecting their own pain and misery onto you rather than dealing with it.

You know that other people’s thoughts and opinions ultimately have nothing to do with you, so they don’t bother you one bit.

9. Self-acceptance is a high priority for you.

There is a lot to be said about self-love. But a huge part of that comes from accepting who you are.

And when it comes to self-acceptance, you’ve got it nailed down.

You’ve likely come to terms with issues such as physical traits, limitations, aging, and so forth, and don’t care to torture yourself trying to be something you aren’t, or can never be.

10. You spend more time in the “real world” than on social media.

You may have a social media account or two, and you may even share things on those platforms.

But whether people like or comment on what you’re sharing doesn’t matter to you. At all.

If you feel like sharing thoughts or photos, it’s because you want to do so, rather than for attention.

Chances are, though, that you are a fairly “light” user of social media and prefer to spend your time in the real world.

11. You don’t dissect and over-analyze your interactions.

After you’ve had a conversation with someone, you don’t pick apart everything they said to determine whether there was some underlying message beneath their words.

If you didn’t “clue in” to their hidden meaning, you figure they’ll come out and be clearer about it later.

Additionally, you’re not the type who will ruminate over conversations and exchanges you had 20+ years ago and be haunted by things you should have reacted to differently.

What’s passed is past. You’ve learned lessons from whatever perceived mistakes you’ve made before and are now moving forward with your life as best you can.

Extra reading: How To Stop Overanalyzing Everything: 9 No Nonsense Steps!

12. You feel no need to justify the pursuits that fuel you.

You would never be caught saying something like…

“I carve wood because it’s something I used to do with my grandfather… it’s dorky, I know, but whatever.”

“I watch anime because it helps to distract me from my panic attacks, and also inspires me to practice my drawing, sorry if it’s too nerdy.”

You aren’t bothered by what others think of the things you love, so you don’t feel the need to justify them to anyone else.

Is your “happy place” watching zombie movies while sewing homemade dog toys and eating Fritos with ice cream? Let your festive flag fly!

13. You’re honest about what you think and feel.

You’ve overcome any fear of judgement about expressing your opinions and feelings on things.

You may not always share what’s going on in your head, but if you do, then you’re doing so because you feel that you need or want to be heard.

Rather than pandering to others about what they want to hear, you’ll give them your honest opinion about it.

You’re not intentionally cruel or undiplomatic, but nor are you going to lie for the sake of keeping up appearances.

Extra reading: 12 Reasons Why Honesty Is Important In Life

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About The Author

Catherine Winter is an herbalist, INTJ empath, narcissistic abuse survivor, and PTSD warrior currently based in Quebec's Laurentian mountains. In an informal role as confidant and guide, Catherine has helped countless people work through difficult times in their lives and relationships, including divorce, ageing and death journeys, grief, abuse, and trauma recovery, as they navigate their individual paths towards healing and personal peace.