4 Brutally Honest Things Survivors Of Narcissistic Abuse Want To Say To Their Abusers

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Whatever the root cause of their behavior, a narcissist will cause untold suffering to those they abuse.

They are spirit crushers; they take an individual and control, confuse, and torment them with a bewildering array of verbal and physical weaponry just to gratify their insatiable, egotistical mind.

Upon escaping this toxic personality, it can take a survivor a great deal of time to recapture some semblance of their former identity, but they will never quite resemble the person they were before.

Despite this, they will eventually reach a place where they are able to look back on their experiences at the hands of a narcissist with some small amount of acceptance.

They will never fully understand why they had to endure such suffering, but they will no longer be imprisoned by the lingering influence of their narcissist.

While it is recommended that someone who has been through such an ordeal never again make contact with the person in question, there are a few things that many would love to be able to say to their abuser.

Here are four such statements that might be said.

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1. You Did NOT Break Me

You hurt me in ways that you’ll never quite understand.

At times, life with you felt like a form of psychological torture as you pushed me ever closer to the brink of the abyss.

You took me, you chewed me up, and you spat me out again.

You have forever changed me in ways that I am still coming to terms with.

You looked at me as a tool and used me as just that.

You didn’t care for me; all you wanted from me was the adoration and attention that you crave.

I just want you to know that you did NOT break me.

My spirit may have been hurt, but since leaving you behind, it has once again bloomed and flourished.

In spite of all your attempts to degrade and destroy me, you failed.

I stand here today in defiance of you and everything you did to me.

2. You No Longer Have A Place In My Heart (And That’s Your Loss)

For a long time, my heart belonged to you.

You had my love, my care, and my devotion, but you wasted it and now it is gone.

There is no longer a place for you in my heart and I want you to know that there never will be again.

What you had was a privilege and an honor, but you know no respect for such things.

You may think you have much in your life, but my love – and the love of all those who have left you behind – is something that you will be much poorer without.

3. You Taught Me A Lesson I Needed To Learn

You may well believe that you had the last laugh in our relationship, that there is nothing that I could possibly take from the time I spent with you.

Let me tell you now that you are wrong.

You may have used me without a second thought to my wellbeing, and you may not care how I am now, but you should know that what you did to me has taught me huge amounts.

You and your spiteful behavior were life lessons that I am grateful for.

I do not thank you for this; I thank myself for being able to see the meaning in your malevolent ways and to learn from them that which I needed to learn.

4. I Pity You

The only feeling I have left for you now is one of pity.

It is sad to think that you will never know what it feels like to love, to feel compassion, or even to truly feel close to another living being.

I wish you were able to understand what it is you lack, but I doubt you ever will.

It’s not simply the love for others, but that which you feel towards yourself too; I don’t think you even experience this.

I cannot imagine a world in which there is no love, but this is precisely what you must be living in.

While others may show you love, you cannot feel its effects, nor bask in its warmth and beauty.

For all this, I can only have pity for you.

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About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.