If you’ve studied human behavior at all, you’ve likely noticed that people who went through similar things as children tend to share similar traits in adulthood. For example, the people who loved Charlotte’s Web often grow up to be vegan, while those who grew up reading or watching fantasy tales as kids are often creative and free-spirited as adults. The same goes for those who moved home a lot when they were kids: most grow up to share similar traits in adulthood, particularly the ones listed here.
1. Adapting to new situations and people quickly and easily.
People who grew up in a stable, long-term home environment often develop strong ties and nostalgia to their surroundings. Their height was marked permanently on door jambs, and they were so familiar with every inch of the family home that they could navigate it in the dark. The same went for the school they attended for years and the items they used on a daily basis.
In contrast, those who moved around a lot had to learn how to adapt to all kinds of things and circumstances. They always had new surroundings and new people in their lives and had to acclimate accordingly. This adaptability is a valuable trait to have. As adults, these people can adjust easily to any situation they may be in and can make do with whatever they have at hand — whether that involves new foods, equipment, vehicles, or a lifestyle that suits the climate they’re currently in.
2. The ability to make new friends easily but without strong attachments.
When one is moved around a lot as a child, there are really only two options as far as friendships go: they can either learn how to make new friends quickly and easily or adopt loneliness and solitude as a personal defense mechanism. Most people fall into the former category and learn various techniques for making friends everywhere they go.
That said, the friendships they make rarely last long, nor do they cultivate strong connections. According to research, moving around a lot as a child leads people to see friendships as temporary and disposable because they never learned how to make them last — nor did they have the opportunity to do so.
Sure, they’ll meet great people and cultivate friendships with them, but they can terminate those friendships and move on at the drop of a hat without feeling much loss about doing so. This may even extend to romantic relationships, depending on the individual.
3. Social anxiety and psychological instability.
My family moved house twelve times before I turned 18. This involved moving to different cities as well as provinces and living in environments ranging from rural and suburban environments to intense urban landscapes. Because of this, I learned to be quite curious about new experiences and situations that I found myself in, and this has extended into adulthood: I don’t get social anxiety at all and am thoroughly comfortable exploring new cities, cuisines, and cultures when I travel.
Apparently, I’m an anomaly in this, though, since according to Psychology Today, the vast majority of people who moved around as children develop social anxiety, depression, and other psychological issues in adulthood. In fact, according to a study on Science Daily, introverts who moved around as children are more likely to die earlier than their more stable-homed counterparts.
4. Difficulties with commitment or permanence.
When a person is moved around a lot against their will (i.e., as children who have no say about where they live), they learn not to get too attached to people, places, or even things because they can be torn away from them at any given moment. Aspects that others may consider to be foundational — such as a “family home” that was passed on for generations — are completely alien to them. Every time they’ve tried to set down roots, they’ve been torn up and moved yet again.
As a result, many of them have difficulty with the concept of permanence and don’t develop this trait. They may be more comfortable doing contract or freelance work than being locked into a full-time job, for example, or they may struggle with commitment to a long-term partner. On a fundamental level, they expect the rug to be pulled out from under them yet again, and if they aren’t heavily rooted into it, that experience will be much less painful when it occurs.
5. A strong sense of resilience.
Anyone who has picked up and left a place where they were happy and moved to a place where they don’t know anyone, will remember how unsettling that experience can be. It takes a lot of personal fortitude to leave one life behind in favor of another, as well as dealing with all the unknowns that will unfold when you get there.
Those who moved around a lot as children often develop a strong sense of resilience. They’ve been through difficulty, learned lessons from it, and cultivated the ability to regulate emotions related to repeated upheaval. As a result of this, they’re incredibly resilient adults who can negotiate just about any situation as it unfolds, and it’s one of the most valuable traits they possess.
6. Little to no attachment to material possessions.
If you’ve moved house a few times, you know what a pain it is to pack everything up and then unpack it again once you’ve settled into your new place. In fact, you may have thrown away or donated everything except the essentials specifically so you don’t have to go through all that again.
People who moved home a lot when they were young remember how trying this process was, and try to avoid similar inconveniences in the future. As a result, they often lead a very minimalist lifestyle, with capsule wardrobes, basic furniture items, and just enough kitchenware to get by — especially if they’ve kept up the habit of moving frequently in adulthood. If you don’t have attachments to material objects, you won’t be upset if you lose them: everything is replaceable, and packing becomes a breeze.
7. A strong sense of independence.
Those who moved around a lot as kids often had to figure out a great deal on their own. If their parents were swamped with work and community responsibilities, as well as caring for their younger siblings, they may have taken it upon themselves to explore their neighborhood, get to know new people, and run various errands by themselves.
They may even have had little choice but to take care of themselves if they were hungry or got hurt. This often leads to the trait of intense independence as adults: they can take care of all their own needs, and they may be hesitant to trust others to get important things done since they’re so used to doing them solo. This independence can be a good thing unless it crosses the line into unhealthy hyper independence. This often happens if the childhood experience of frequently moving house was traumatic rather than enjoyable.
8. “Itchy Feet” (i.e., Wanderlust).
Those who moved around quite a bit when they were children often get bored when they have to stay in one place for a significant period of time. They got so used to constant change that the lack thereof feels like stagnation. Because of this, they may choose to move around a lot, the same way their family did when they were younger.
They may choose a career that allows them to travel a great deal, such as being a flight attendant, or they might take a job with a company that has offices around the world. That way, they have the opportunity to move around on a regular basis. If careers like these aren’t an option, then they might simply take frequent holidays abroad, or rearrange their furniture often to keep things feeling “new”.
9. A strong need for home and security.
Although some people who moved home a lot in childhood continue the cycle of moving around a lot as adults, others develop a strong need to put down roots for themselves. Since they never felt like they were “home” during their youth and adolescence, many want to cultivate a stable home and long-term ties to a community in adulthood.
As such, they’ll likely marry young and try to find a home in a place where they envision themselves growing old. Whether they have kids or not, they’ll get very involved with their community and will only move if they have no other choice but to do so.
Final thoughts…
As with all things, moving around a lot will affect different people in different ways. What tempers one person to cultivate strength and resilience may cause another to develop other traits, such as intense anxiety and a need for stability. Many factors can contribute to either direction, such as family support (or a lack thereof) and whether they experienced trauma during their moves.
For those of you who have difficulty creating strong bonds with others, therapy and self-work may be helpful for cultivating the kind of authentic relationships you’re craving on a soul-deep level.
