It’s been over 50 years since autism was first noted, yet it still represents one of the most misunderstood neurological differences in our society. Despite significant advances in autism research and greater visibility of autistic people’s lived experiences in the media, harmful misconceptions and stereotypes still continue to circulate widely.
Frankly, I’m tired of seeing these falsehoods perpetuated in casual conversations and media portrayals. They don’t just create confusion – they actively harm autistic individuals by shaping how they’re treated, limiting their opportunities, and contributing to discrimination.
It’s time to debunk these myths, once and for all.
1. Autistic people lack empathy.
The notion that autistic individuals cannot experience or express empathy ranks among the most hurtful and inaccurate stereotypes. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most widespread. Many autistic people actually experience intense empathy, sometimes to an overwhelming degree that leaves them emotionally drained.
Furthermore, what appears as a lack of empathy often stems from differences in how emotions are processed and expressed. Autism Understood tells us that alexithymia, the difficulty identifying and describing one’s own emotions, occurs in many autistic individuals.
Rather than lacking empathy, some autistic people might struggle to show it in neurotypical ways. Someone may deeply care about another’s distress while not displaying “expected” facial expressions or verbal responses. This doesn’t make their concern any less genuine, though.
Dr. Damian Milton’s double empathy problem highlights how communication difficulties flow both ways – neurotypical people often struggle to read autistic emotional expressions and intention, just as much as the reverse occurs. Understanding empathy in autism requires looking beyond surface-level behaviors to recognize different but equally valid expressions of emotional connection.
2. It’s mostly only boys who are autistic.
Historically, diagnostic criteria for autism were developed primarily by observing boys, creating a skewed understanding that still persists today. Autistic girls and women frequently go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or receive their diagnoses much later in life, often after years of unnecessary struggle and self-doubt.
Female presentations of autism often include stronger masking abilities, that is, the exhausting practice of hiding autistic traits and mimicking neurotypical behavior to fit in socially.
Current research reveals that the gender ratio in autism diagnosis continues shifting as our understanding evolves. While previously thought to be 4:1 (boys to girls), newer estimates suggest closer to 2:1 or even 1:1 when accounting for missed diagnoses.
Societal expectations and gender stereotypes contribute significantly to this diagnostic gap. Quiet, socially withdrawn girls might be labeled “shy” rather than evaluated for autism, while special interests in traditionally feminine topics like animals or literature attract less attention than interests in trains or mathematics. Our gender biases have a lot to answer for in life generally, and autism is no exception.
3. There is an autism “epidemic” happening.
Perhaps it seems like everyone is autistic these days. Rising diagnosis rates have fueled alarmist headlines about an autism “epidemic,” but increased awareness explains most of this statistical shift. Diagnostic criteria have expanded significantly over recent decades, capturing many individuals who would have previously gone unrecognized.
Professional understanding has evolved dramatically since the narrow definitions of earlier eras. Where once only the most visibly apparent presentations received diagnosis, today’s criteria recognize the broad diversity of autistic experiences and more internalised presentations, such as those often experienced by girls and women.
Greater access to diagnostic services allows more people to receive proper identification. And parents today possess greater autism awareness than previous generations, making them more likely to seek evaluation when noticing developmental differences.
The shift toward neurodiversity perspectives has reduced stigma, making diagnosis more accessible and acceptable. There’s no epidemic, despite what some people would have you believe. There is just better recognition of what has always been there.
4. Autistic people are all non-speaking.
Yes, some autistic individuals are non-speaking. But when media portrayals focus predominantly on non-speaking autistic individuals, they create a limited understanding of the vast communication spectrum within autism. Speaking abilities vary dramatically among autistic people, with many being highly verbal, eloquent communicators who would love to talk your ear off about their passions.
Many experience selective mutism, caused by a phobia of the expectation to talk. Reactive mutism or shutdowns, where speech becomes unavailable during times of stress, overwhelm, or after extended social interaction, are also common. These temporary losses of verbal ability demonstrate the dynamic nature of autistic communication – it’s not a static trait.
Some non-speaking autistic people comprehend language perfectly despite not producing verbal speech. The dangerous assumption that non-speaking always equals non-understanding leads to infantilization and exclusion of autistic people from decision-making. Decision-making that involves them. What’s more, some autistic individuals communicate through typing, sign language, picture exchange systems, or assistive technology – methods that deserve equal recognition and respect as valid forms of expression.
5. Autistic people can’t date or have relationships (or worse still, that they can’t feel love).
Research has shown that autism is largely genetic, i.e., it’s inherited when people procreate. So the idea that autistic people can’t date or have relationships is simply absurd. It’s also extremely dehumanizing.
Countless autistic adults have fulfilling romantic relationships and close friendships. Their expressions of love and connection might differ from neurotypical expectations, but they remain equally deep and meaningful. The key, as with all relationships, is finding someone who accepts your authentic self.
Some autistic people identify as aromantic or asexual, but these variations in orientation exist across all neurotypes. Assuming all autistic individuals lack interest in romance or intimacy, or worse still, that autistic people are devoid of the emotions necessary to feel love and connection, is one of the most harmful myths that is somehow still being perpetuated.
6. Autism is a childhood condition that you outgrow.
Autism represents a lifelong neurological difference, not a “phase” that disappears with age or with enough “intervention”. The persistent portrayal of autism as primarily affecting children erases adult experiences and creates harmful expectations of “recovery.” Let me be crystal clear: you cannot outgrow autism, and neither can you train it out of someone.
As with all neurotypes, autistic people experience developmental growth throughout life. So yes, autistic adults often develop effective coping strategies, better understand their sensory needs, and build upon their strengths. But their fundamental neurological differences remain.
What’s more, support needs often fluctuate throughout the lifespan depending on the environment, life transitions, and other factors. Some autistic adults require lower or fluctuating support, while others need substantial daily support. But both realities deserve recognition.
7. Vaccines cause autism.
Scientists have thoroughly debunked the vaccine-autism connection through dozens of large-scale, well-designed studies across multiple countries. The original study suggesting this link was retracted due to serious methodological flaws and ethical violations, yet this zombie myth refuses to die.
The perpetuation of this myth has caused measurable harm by reducing vaccination rates and allowing preventable diseases to resurge in some communities. Parents who are making vaccination decisions need accurate scientific information rather than discredited claims.
As we’ve mentioned, autism has strong genetic components identified through twin studies and genomic research. Brain development differences begin prenatally, long before vaccination schedules start. Environmental factors that may influence autism likelihood operate primarily during pregnancy, not during early childhood when vaccines are administered, and will likely involve interplay with genetic predisposition.
The continued focus on vaccines distracts from meaningful autism research and reinforces harmful narratives that autism represents something to be prevented rather than a natural variation in human neurology.
8. All autistic people have intellectual disabilities.
Intelligence varies as widely in the autistic population as it does among neurotypical people. While some autistic individuals have co-occurring intellectual disabilities, many others possess average or above-average intelligence measured by standard assessments, and some are off the scale.
But traditional IQ testing often fails to capture the uneven cognitive profiles common in autism, also known as “spiky profiles”. An autistic person might excel in pattern recognition, long-term memory, or specialized knowledge while struggling with processing speed or verbal comprehension sections of standardized tests.
The bigger issue here is that society somehow still ties worth to intelligence. That somehow, the more intelligent you are, the more worthy of life you are. I believe a person’s worth is inherent, regardless of how much they can contribute to the economy, but I’ll save that rant for another day.
9. Everyone is a “little bit autistic” or “on the spectrum somewhere.”
This is a huge bugbear for many autistic people and their families. Casually claiming that “everyone’s a little autistic” minimizes the significant challenges many autistic people navigate daily. Though certain traits might seem relatable in isolation, autism involves a constellation of characteristics that substantially impact functioning. Feeling socially awkward sometimes doesn’t make you “a little bit autistic,” just like feeling sick in the mornings doesn’t make you “a little bit pregnant.”
Then there’s the spectrum confusion. The phrase “on the spectrum” specifically refers to the autism spectrum, not a general spectrum of human behavior. Using clinical terminology casually dilutes its meaning and obscures the distinctive neurological differences that define autism.
Though these statements are often well-intentioned, they often backfire because they invalidate people’s struggles and imply that specialized accommodations aren’t necessary. If you’re ever tempted to use a phrase like this, think again.
10. Autism is a linear spectrum.
Keeping with the spectrum theme, the other issue it has is to conjure up images of a linear spectrum from “mild” to “severe.” Some people still use the high and low functioning labels, without realizing the harm they can do. Yes, some people do have greater support needs which require daily care, but to term them “low functioning” is nothing short of offensive. And on the flip side, “high functioning” implies minimal to no support needs, which simply isn’t the case for many (often highly masking) autistic people who would typically be slapped with this label.
Furthermore, an autistic person’s support needs often fluctuate depending on the environment, stress levels, and context. Someone who appears highly independent in familiar settings might experience significant difficulties when facing new situations or sensory challenges, showing how functioning labels provide incomplete snapshots rather than stable descriptions.
Current understanding visualizes autism more as a color wheel or constellation of traits, with each person showing unique patterns of strengths and challenges across communication, sensory processing, motor skills, and cognitive domains. Embracing this complexity allows for more personalized, respectful approaches.
11. Autistic people lack social skills.
Framing autism as a “social skills deficit” misses the fundamental, and equally valid, differences in autistic people’s communication style. Yes, many autistic people do struggle to navigate the social world, but that is because it’s constructed around neurotypical communication. That doesn’t mean autistic people lack social skills, they just lack neurotypical social skills, just as neurotypical people lack autistic social skills. Neurotypical people frequently misunderstand autistic communication styles, demonstrating that the gap flows in both directions.
As we’ve mentioned, many autistic people learn to mask from a young age in order to appear “typical.” It’s a sophisticated social skill, but it comes at a cost. The energy required for such constant vigilance often leads to exhaustion, burnout, and mental health struggles. All because autistic people are made to believe from an early age that their natural way of communication and being is somehow defective.
If society could become more tolerant of different communication styles, this myth would stop perpetuating, and autistic people would feel safer to be their authentic selves. Different doesn’t mean deficient; it just means different.
12. Autistic people can’t make eye contact (so if you make eye contact, you can’t be autistic).
Eye contact experiences vary tremendously among autistic individuals. For some, eye contact feels intensely uncomfortable or even painful, like being subjected to a blinding spotlight. Others may make plenty of eye contact but struggle with its timing or duration in conversation.
Despite what a disturbing number of health professionals still seem to believe, making eye contact doesn’t automatically disqualify someone from being autistic. Many autistic adults learned to force eye contact despite significant discomfort – a practice that can increase anxiety and cognitive load during conversations.
Some develop workarounds like looking at foreheads, noses, or nearby objects while conversing. These strategies often go unnoticed by conversation partners but provide relief from the sensory and cognitive demands of direct eye contact.
Whilst this might seem like an insignificant myth to still be circulating, it does real harm. I know of far too many children and adults who have sought referral for an autism assessment, only to be dismissed immediately on the grounds of “Well, you can’t be autistic because you made eye contact.” Instead of using eye contact as a diagnostic litmus test, we should respect individual differences and create environments where everyone can communicate comfortably.
13. You can tell someone is autistic by looking at them.
Stereotypical portrayals in the media have created narrow visual expectations that many autistic people don’t match. The belief that autism must be immediately visible contributes to skepticism when someone who “doesn’t look autistic” discloses their diagnosis.
Masking makes many autistic traits invisible to casual observation. As we’ve mentioned, women and girls particularly excel at these camouflaging techniques, contributing to their underdiagnosis. They also often experience a more internalised profile of autism, making external differences difficult to spot, especially if you don’t actually know what you’re looking for.
Visible stimming (self-stimulatory behaviors like rocking or hand-flapping) that many people expect to see in an autistic person varies enormously between individuals, too. Many autistic people develop subtle stims that pass unnoticed or suppress visible stimming in public despite its regulatory benefits.
So next time someone tells you they’re autistic, think very carefully before replying, “But you don’t look autistic.”
14. All autistic people are math geniuses.
The stereotype of the autistic math savant – popularized by movies like “Rain Man” – represents a tiny fraction of the autistic community. Mathematical ability in autism follows the same diverse distribution seen in the general population, with some excelling and others struggling.
And savant skills, when present, arise in many domains beyond mathematics – from music to art, calendar calculation to memory feats. These exceptional abilities occur in roughly 10% of autistic individuals, making them notable but far from universal.
Many autistic people excel in fields requiring pattern recognition, attention to detail, or deep specialized knowledge – strengths that extend well beyond mathematical domains. Creative pursuits like writing, music, visual arts, and design also benefit from these cognitive styles.
Some autistic individuals struggle significantly with traditional academic subjects, including mathematics. Learning differences like dyscalculia can co-occur with autism, creating math-specific challenges despite strengths in other areas.
15. Autistic people don’t get humor.
This is another extremely dehumanizing myth that stems from a misunderstanding of communication differences rather than the actual truth.
Yes, some autistic people might miss jokes that rely on unspoken social assumptions, but they may well create hilarious observations about patterns others haven’t noticed.
Autistic communities have developed rich humor traditions, often poking fun at the absurdities of navigating neurotypical expectations or finding comedy in shared experiences of sensory sensitivities and social confusion. Visit any online autistic community and you’ll quickly discover vibrant, nuanced humor that thoroughly disproves this persistent misconception.
Final thoughts…
These myths don’t persist by accident. Many serve specific purposes – justifying harmful interventions, maintaining professional authority, or simplifying complex human diversity into manageable categories. Recognizing these underlying motivations helps us approach autism information more critically.
The consequences of these misconceptions extend beyond hurt feelings. They directly impact educational opportunities, employment prospects, healthcare quality, and social inclusion for autistic individuals. Dismantling these myths creates material improvements in autistic lives.
Moving forward requires humility from non-autistic people about the limits of our understanding. Instead of projecting assumptions onto autistic experiences, we can practice genuine curiosity and respect for neurological differences. By embracing the full, complex humanity of autistic individuals – with their unique strengths, challenges, and perspectives – we create a world that truly accommodates human diversity.
