For those of us who feel like we have old souls, the modern world we live in can be downright excruciating at times. We often feel disappointed or frustrated by those who can’t see the big picture, or drained by the constant onslaught of things around us that are always too loud, too bright, or too demanding.
That said, we still have to function on a daily basis, so it’s important to develop vital coping mechanisms to do just that. If you’re an old soul, the tips below may help you find the balance you’re seeking.
1. Try to remain as present as possible.
When it seems as though you’re the only person who’s aware of all the awful things going on everywhere, nobody else understands you, and you feel like you just weren’t made for this modern world, take a big step back and try to focus entirely on the present moment: on what you feel, see, smell, and experience in this moment, this breath.
This type of mindfulness is immensely beneficial for alleviating the discomfort that modern life inflicts upon those with ancient souls. Focusing too much on what might occur in the future or issues that you’re unable to fix will only drain you further. As such, keep your attention focused on your immediate experience and surroundings as often as you can.
2. Engage in purposeful activities that truly matter to you.
Many old souls have difficulty dedicating time to things that they don’t sincerely care about. If they have jobs that don’t fuel their souls or have to engage in events that they aren’t emotionally invested in, they feel like their will to live is being sucked out.
Of course, we aren’t all able to work in soul-nurturing careers, but we can counterbalance the suckage by engaging in pursuits that give us purpose. In fact, studies show that people who have a strong sense of purpose have healthier, more mentally and emotionally stable lives than those who don’t.
Create a Venn diagram that consists of the causes or subjects that mean the most to you, your skill set, and how much energy you have to dedicate to them. Some people do volunteer work, others create art or music, etc. I spend my downtime knitting warm clothes for charity or tending the community garden that helps to feed low-income families nearby.
3. Refuse to allow yourself to be baited into debates with people who will never understand you.
If you’ve ever gotten into an argument with someone online, you’ve likely noticed that some people will simply never be able to understand you. Many can only process the world through their own lenses, and can’t conceive of perspectives or ideas beyond their individual experience. As such, it’s an effort in futility to debate those who are incapable of comprehending what you’re trying to share with them.
There’s an old saying that goes: “Never enter a battle of wits with an unarmed person”. You may have the best of intentions in wanting to explain to someone why their viewpoint is toxic or misinformed, but unless they’re open to the idea of learning, you’ll simply be wasting your time. Let them wake up to things on their own — if they ever do — and keep your energy for pursuits that are more worthy of you.
4. Don’t partake in activities that drain or depress you.
It’s extremely draining and disheartening to observe the same negative cycles repeating around you, and sadly, very few people seem to learn from their mistakes. This also includes dealing with friends or family members who perpetually make the same poor life choices but expect others to comfort them as they inevitably fall to pieces.
Decline invitations to meetups where you’ll be drained, and take regular breaks from social media if you find that it depresses you. Instead, fuel yourself with music, films, shows, books, and activities that bring you joy. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t aware of other people’s suffering, but that you’re putting on your own oxygen mask before you can help others with theirs. You’ll have much more energy for others once you’ve basked in light and joy for a little while.
5. Share wisdom, but don’t allow others to use you as their support pillar.
Most people recognize old souls quite easily and often turn to them for wisdom and advice about pretty much everything. While this may be flattering on various levels, it can also get quite exhausting over time, especially when others begin to rely on you a bit too heavily, and get distressed if you aren’t regularly available to be their personal counsellor and guide.
It’s important to be strictly boundaried in situations like this, and make it abundantly clear that you don’t exist to be anyone’s guru. Sometimes you need to stop helping people and encourage them to sort things out for themselves, even though they will push back and resent you for doing so.
6. Express your authentic self instead of repressing it.
The majority of people with old souls have their own ideas about what they like and dislike, and balk at following what the herd is doing. They’re the ones who will dress and look differently from most others around them, as they value quality and beauty far more than fitting in with what others are doing.
If you feel that you’ve been tamping down who you really are and how you want to be, aim to change that as soon as possible. Wear what you love, consume the foods that nourish you best, and only take part in activities that resonate with you. If it doesn’t enhance your life or align with your authentic self, don’t engage with it.
7. Recharge regularly in the manner that nourishes you best.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to recharging your spirit. We’re all unique individuals, so what nurtures one person’s soul might deplete another’s. For example, while I recharge best in silence and solitude, preferably by the fire with books and animal companions, another old soul I know rekindles his light by dancing wildly for days with 70,000 of his new friends.
When you think about the pursuits and surroundings that bring you the most peace, what comes to mind? Which pastimes bring you the most happiness and replenish the joy you have in existence here? Make sure to put those into practice regularly, rather like keeping your car’s fuel tank topped up so it never runs dry.
8. Find solace in a spiritual practice that’s meaningful to you.
We know the importance of replenishing our bodies, minds, and spirits, but old souls often need to nurture their spiritual selves more than others do. Just about every ancient soul you’ll encounter has a sacred practice that they do regularly, though these will vary greatly between individuals.
One person might find their solace in weekly religious services or rituals, while another will maintain a daily yoga or meditation practice. Some may have altars in and around their homes, while others might visit special places in nature. Find a practice that resonates with you on a soul-deep level, and engage in it as often as you need to.
9. Spend time with like-minded people.
One great thing about being an old soul is that you aren’t the only one wandering around. In fact, there are a lot of people who feel the exact same way you do, and feel immense frustration and heaviness of spirit because they can’t relate well to those in their immediate sphere. The key is to find community with other old souls whose interests mirror your own.
I’ve found that the best way to do this is to get involved in groups that mean a great deal to me, as those of like mind will always gravitate towards one another. These can either be in person or online. In fact, a lot of people cultivate strong friendships with people they’ve either never met in person or just chatted with via FaceTime or Zoom.
Final thoughts…
Having an old soul in a modern world isn’t easy. People who have strong awareness and intuition, and who value deep connections over superficiality, have a difficult time with those who prefer materialism and pleasure seeking.
What’s helpful is trying to focus on things that have real purpose and meaning, and living in a manner that’s as true to your authentic self as possible. Let go of whatever doesn’t serve you or enhance your life, distance yourself from those who steal your light, and try to enjoy every morsel of beauty you come across.
