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Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you become a more relaxed and calm person. Simply click here to connect with one via BetterHelp.com.
We all know people who seem ridiculously relaxed all the time. Instead of being harried balls of stress who are constantly freaking out and running around like headless chickens, these people are calm, chilled out, and seem to be enjoying life a lot more than the stressy crew.
…so what are they doing differently than the rest of us?
Several things, actually, and many of them are likely far easier to work into your own lifestyle than you might have imagined.
1. They Put Self-Care First
People who are calm and relaxed a lot of the time know how important it is to take care of themselves first and foremost.
We can’t take care of anyone else if we don’t take care of ourselves, and a lot of us end up utterly drained and depleted because we give far more than we end up replenishing.
Relaxed people make a point of getting proper sleep, eating well, and taking care of themselves – both physically and emotionally.
They may have a regular spiritual practice, or seek counseling when needed, or follow a specific dietary regimen that’s best suited to their needs. Either way, they make self-care a priority.
Think about when you’re on an airplane and the flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs: make that a habit in all aspects of life.
Take care of yourself first, so you’re then able to take care of others.
2. They Aren’t Slaves To Their Phones
You won’t find these people checking their mobile phones every few seconds to see if they’ve missed a super-important text, nor will they spend half their conversation with you scrolling through their Instagram feed.
To them, a phone is a means of communication, and they’re not at the mercy of everyone who wants to get hold of them.
Mobile phones are incredibly handy, but they also give people the misconception that you’re available to them whenever they want. This is really unhealthy, especially when it comes to work (see the point below to elaborate on this).
Really relaxed people often shut their phones off when they get home from work, or at the very least, an hour or two before bed.
What can they possibly be doing instead of gawping at their phones? They read. Or do yoga. Or talk with their families.
You know, really human things that don’t involve staring at screens.
3. They Establish Healthy Boundaries
Have you ever had your employer text you something late at night so you end up fretting over it until morning?
Or on a weekend, expecting you to get something done by Monday morning?
Or maybe you’ve had a relative inform you that they’re going to drop by at X time, rather than asking you if that’s okay?
None of that is okay.
What a lot of people seem to have forgotten is that they’re autonomous beings who aren’t at the mercy of others’ whims and wants.
Those who are calm and relaxed are those who have set healthy boundaries with other people in their lives; boundaries like “I don’t work on weekends, so this will be taken care of when I get back to the office,” and “please don’t drop by without verifying with us whether it’s okay.”
You are utterly within your right to establish rules about how other people interact with you, and your emotional/mental health will thrive as a result.
4. They Avoid Social Media
Now, social media is good for a lot of reasons, but it’s absolutely crap for your psyche and well-being.
Studies have shown that young people are more depressed, anxious, and stressed out than ever, and a lot of that has to do with their exposure to various types of social media.
People who spend most of their time monitoring Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and various other online media also spend an inordinate amount of time comparing themselves to others, feeling inadequate as compared to what other people are posting, feeling left out when they see photos from various parties and get-togethers, etc.
They can also work themselves into lathers imagining all kinds of ridiculous stuff if they see their romantic partners interacting with other people online: even if it’s completely innocent, they imagine all kinds of illicit behaviors and thus end up damaging their own relationships.
Back away from social media. Seriously.
There are a lot more interesting things to do with your life, and you’ll feel a lot more relaxed if you’re not constantly “ON,” scanning feeds for information you think you need.
5. They Exercise (Especially Outside)
Exercise does wonders for your overall health, and one of its greatest benefits is that it lowers stress levels.
In fact, walking just half an hour per day can lower anxiety, alleviate depression, boost one’s immune system, and increase cardiovascular health.
Those who are really relaxed tend to walk a lot, have you noticed that?
They may walk to work (or get off the bus and walk the last few stops to the office), or to the grocery store, or even just take long walks with their dog.
Have you ever seen a stressed-out dog walker? Honestly?
They’re always smiling, and for good reason: they’re out in the fresh air, moving their bodies, seeing trees and flowers and SUNSHINE… and not staring at their phones the whole time.
(We mentioned putting your phone down, right? Just reiterating that.)
Exercises that pair physical movement with meditation, like tai chi or yoga, are also immensely beneficial. They literally move negative energy out of your body, leaving you grounded, “uncoiled,” and significantly more relaxed after a session.
6. They Appreciate “Little” Things, In The Moment
How many of us eat while we’re working, or while watching TV? How many of us multi-task so much that we’ve forgotten what it’s like to really focus on one task, or savor a meal?
People who are relaxed and calm know how important it is to be present, in the moment, and take the time to really enjoy the wonderful things in life.
This can be as simple as enjoying every single spoonful of ice cream during dessert, or basking in the utter delight of a hot bath after a long day.
7. They’re Comfortable With Unexpected Setbacks
These people know that sh*t is going to hit the fan on occasion, and they’re okay with that.
Their track record for dealing with life’s difficulties is 100 percent so far, and even if something goes awry, they can handle it. They’re resilient.
Because of this, they know that there’s no need to stress themselves into lathers about anything: there’s nothing they can’t handle, so why freak out?
8. They Approach Life With Authenticity And Gratitude
People who are most relaxed are those who are at peace with themselves.
They’re not trying to be something they’re not, but are instead living their personal Truths, dressing the way that makes them happy, and surrounding themselves with others who love and respect them as they are.
Living Truth like this inspires a tremendous amount of gratitude. Nothing is taken for granted, and they’ll take the time to truly appreciate all that they’re grateful for in life, whether it’s a tight group of close friends, a supportive family, a car that’s in decent working order, or even a good meal.
Everything is special in its own way, and they know this… and they’ve realized that immense happiness can be found just about everywhere, if they just take a moment to notice and appreciate it.
Not sure how to adopt the habits of a relaxed person and become more relaxed yourself? Speak to a therapist today who can walk you through the process. Simply click here to connect with one of the experienced therapists on BetterHelp.com.
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