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Kindred Spirits: What It Means To Have This Kind Of Connection

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“Omg. I feel like I’ve known you forever, even though we just met! Is this weird?”

This question was asked of me a few days ago, by a wonderful woman I’d just met.

We were introduced by a mutual friend who insisted that we’d get along well…

…and he was right.

She and I got on instantly, and agreed that it was just like reconnecting with an old friend we hadn’t seen for a while.

If this sort of thing has ever happened to you – whether in person or online – you’ve undoubtedly met a kindred spirit.

Kindred spirits can come into our lives for countless different reasons, but one thing is certain: they make an enormous positive impact every time.

What Are The Signs That You’ve Found A Kindred Spirit?

1. First and foremost, there’s the feeling that you’ve already met.

There’s an instant rapport and familiarity, without any of the awkwardness that can happen when you meet someone new.

2. Chances are you two have a lot in common.

This goes above and beyond liking the same books, music, and movies.

You may have led very parallel lives, had similar experiences with relationships/family members, and even dress similarly.

I heard of one set of new kindred spirits who surprised one another with “secret Santa” gifts during the holidays… only to discover they had bought each other the exact same things.

They hadn’t known each other for very long, but had that kind of bond immediately.

3. You find yourselves spilling your guts about some of the most personal stuff that’s ever happened to you.

The two of you might have only known each other for a brief time, but you know on a deep, instinctive level that you can trust them.

They may not have had the exact same experiences as you, but they can empathize, and won’t judge. You’ll only receive support and understanding.

4. They make you feel less alone.

Even if you have a really wide social circle, you might have always felt a bit different from most of the people you hang out with.

Maybe you’re not able to be your authentic self with those folks: you get on well, but you’re always holding back some of the most important aspects of who you are.

Your kindred spirit likely experiences the exact same thing, in the same way that you do.

They’ll “grok” you on a level you may have never encountered before… and being truly understood in that way is downright sacred.

5. You’ll develop a really strong intuition toward one another, really quickly.

For example, you might be sitting at work and suddenly feel concerned – like you need to text this person.

When you do, you’ll find out that they broke up with their partner, or lost their job.

This happens in a positive way too. Quite simply, you have an energetic bond that allows you to intuit what each other feels.

6. You inspire and encourage one another.

In fact, you two could be the catalysts each other have needed to experience new things in your life.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to have an adventure overseas, but none of your acquaintances were interested.

Chances are this kindred soul has a similar dream, and you two are in each other’s lives to experience just that.

Or, you might trigger growth for each other. You could provide one another with the strength and support to leave stagnant relationships, or pursue new career paths.

7. Your souls sing the same song.

Or, to phrase it differently, you vibrate on the same wavelength.

If you’re fairly attuned to other people’s energy, you know that some people hum harmoniously together, while others are… discordant.

With a kindred spirit, even if your energy isn’t exactly the same, it will still feel “right.”

Like when you’re listening to a song and two singers harmonize perfectly.

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How Do Kindred Spirits Differ From Soulmates And Twin Flames?

Oh boy. Okay.

These are three very different flavors of interpersonal connection.

Think of a twin flame as a sort of “shadow mirror.”

You’ll likely have intense chemistry with them, and even have a telepathic or psychic bond with them.

That doesn’t mean it’s going to be a good bond. Or a healthy one.

Twin flame relationships are meant to spark growth and evolution. They reveal our shadows to us, and often shatter us to the core.

This type of shattering can turn us inside-out, so we either end up facing and working through our darkest aspects, or being consumed by them.

Romantic twin flame relationships tend to be on again/off again, with intense fights and passionate reconciliations.

This may go back and forth for years until one (or both) parties have finally had enough.

They will have grown as much as they can, and then the relationship has to come to an end.

In contrast, soulmates are people who are in your life for life.

Some people believe that these are beings who are part of your soul group…

That you’re all woven from the same universal energy thread, if you will: like you’re all parts of the same quilt.

You find each other as you go through life, and you end up playing vital roles in each other’s lives.

In some cases, soulmate relationships may end up being romantic. Just note that it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll be long-lasting pairings or marriages.

Some soulmates will have brief physical flings, simply because the connection is so intense, it may be initially interpreted as sexual tension and attraction.

That may fizzle quickly, as both people realize that it’s not a romantic pairing, but still a fierce emotional connection.

That kind of sexual spark isn’t often present with kindred spirit connections.

There will be instant rapport, and warmth, and a feeling of familiarity (as mentioned earlier), but it’s very rare that it’ll manifest as physical chemistry.

If it does, it’s likely to be quite fleeting, and will only serve to form a stronger, platonic bond further along.

It’s more like… as if you discovered a twin of sorts whom you’d been separated from at birth.

There will be a ton of “omg, you too!?!” moments, where you realize that you’re the only two people you know who have read a certain book, or delight in the appalling pairing of chocolate mint ice cream and extra-spicy salsa.

Furthermore, you’ll immediately want to help that other person attain as much joy as possible.

You’ll boost each other’s spirits, offer reassurance and pep talks, and help each other remember your incredible worth.

Why Do We Have Kindred Spirits?

Some people who believe in reincarnation hold to the idea that kindred spirits in this lifetime are those who were close to us in past lives.

They could have been close friends, family members, even romantic partners.

Whatever the previous relationship might have been, it forged such a strong bond that the two of you were able to find each other again in this lifetime, when the time was right.

Actually, most people believe that kindred spirits appear in our lives exactly when we need them, for any number of possible reasons.

As for how and when they show up… who knows?

Maybe we gravitate toward one another with a type of magnetic pull.

Or, if you believe in a higher power, strings may have been pulled so the two of you met exactly when you needed to.

Think about some of the most intense kinships you’ve had with people over the course of your life.

Why were these connections so powerful?

Chances are that you met some truly incredible people during times of great personal change or transition.

Maybe it was during a divorce, or a health challenge, or when trying to decide what to do for a career.

Someone likely appeared who was able to help you through it, somehow. Right?

Some kindred connections may only exist for a short time, to be catalysts for major change (or support through a difficult time).

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this: not all relationships have to be lifelong, and that includes kindred friendship.

You could click with someone fabulous while on a cruise somewhere, or while dancing around at Burning Man.

It isn’t necessary to stay in touch until you’re side by side in nursing home rocking chairs…

…those few days (or even hours) that you spent together will be powerful enough to inspire the magic that needs to happen, for both of you.

It’s also important to note that you’re likely to come across many different kindred spirits over the course of your life.

We’re all changing, all the time, so our relationships fluctuate, and people move in and out of our lives in turn.

As you change, you’ll connect with new people who resonate with your current state, and there are many of them around!

A quote from Anne of Green Gables springs to mind:

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.

If you feel that you’ve encountered a kindred friend, that’s wonderful!

Cherish this connection, make sure they know how much you appreciate them, and revel in every moment you have together.

You two might not be bestest friends forever, but you’ll have an enormous impact on each other’s lives, and will undoubtedly change each other for the better.

About The Author

Catherine Winter is an herbalist, INTJ empath, narcissistic abuse survivor, and PTSD warrior currently based in Quebec's Laurentian mountains. In an informal role as confidant and guide, Catherine has helped countless people work through difficult times in their lives and relationships, including divorce, ageing and death journeys, grief, abuse, and trauma recovery, as they navigate their individual paths towards healing and personal peace.