We don’t meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our path for a reason.
Most people tend to assume that we only get one soulmate. Girlfriends have called me in tears because their relationships have ended and he/she was their soulmate and now what? Now they feel it’s time to let their leg hair grow, stop caring about their appearance, become bff with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and make the relationship with their cat the only relationship they have.
Guess what? You can have more than one soulmate.
I’ve had three…and my husband makes four.
A soulmate is someone who is connected to your soul, and is sent to awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to grow, heal and transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Through the challenges we face with our soulmates, we actually begin to shed old blocks that keep us from truly stepping into our greatness. Our greatness is our life’s purpose, and all we are here to be, do and have.
My first soulmate was at age 16. I had just left my family in Colombia, and was forced to live with my father and stepmother again. The whole reason I had moved to Colombia was because my aunt found out about the molestations and beatings from my parents, and pulled me from the home.
Through a series of events, I had to come back to America, and back into the devil’s lair. As you can imagine, my life was incredibly dark. I slipped into depression and drinking (yes, I drank and smoked at 16) and my love affair with drugs began.
Then I met my first soulmate. He was/is a beautiful soul who wanted to take care of me, protect me and make me feel loved. It was all that I wanted during that time. Without him, I don’t know if I would’ve gotten through that hellish period of my life. He was the light in a very dark tunnel. His family welcomed me in, and I was able to get away from my father and stepmother and the abuse they put me through.
My second soulmate is the biological father of my daughter. Without him I wouldn’t have my not-so-little-anymore peanut. Without my daughter, I would be dead. At that point in my life, I still hadn’t faced the trauma from my child abuse. I was fully immersed in PTSD and simply not dealing with it, or asking for help. I was on anti-depressants, Adderall, and Vicodin in excessive amounts – all to numb the pain that kept me from wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
The only reason I got up, the only reason I made something of myself, the only reason I forged ahead…. was because of my munchkin. There were many times where I felt myself losing the fight against depression and slipping back into suicidal states, but the thought of my daughter growing up without a mom was too much for me to bear.
I grew up without a mother, and to this day, my heart still hurts for her. To this day, I miss my mom like crazy. To this day I still feel a hole in my heart. I didn’t want my daughter to experience any of that pain. One day she’ll know how her very existence saved my life.
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My third soulmate was put in my life simply to bring to light all of the fears, craziness, and demons that lived in my mind. My third soulmate was much older than I was, and in that relationship I was forced to grow up emotionally and acknowledge the fact that I was not okay, and that I needed help.
In that relationship I couldn’t keep the fears and trauma buried any longer. I couldn’t self-medicate and desensitize anymore. I had to face my issues. Without the breaking down of my walls in this relationship, I would’ve never seen how destructive my actions were to myself, and those around me.
My fourth soulmate is my husband. The man that helped me heal. If it weren’t for this man’s unconditional love – the kind of love where I messed up ALL.THE.TIME and he still stood by me because he saw through my fear based actions, and knew there was good inside me – I wouldn’t be the woman I am now.
I was a hot mess by the time this man came into my life. The last relationship had brought all of the trauma to the surface, and the drugs, pills and alcohol no longer numbed the pain. This man showed me unconditional love by legally adopting the daughter of a crazy woman (that would be me) simply because he loved my munchkin as his own, and despite the fact that there were no guarantees that I would get better, he still chose to keep the faith, adopt our daughter and stand by me as I began my healing.
This extreme and unconditional action of love is what finally snapped me out of victimhood, and gave me the strength to change my life. I went cold turkey on everything – the drugs, the pills, the alcohol, all of it – dropped! I started therapy and 6 years later, I’m still here. Always growing, always learning, always healing.
I know it sounds cheesy when someone says, “love is the antidote, love heals all, love conquers all” but cheesy or not, I experienced firsthand the healing powers of love. Without this man’s unconditional love and faith in my ability to heal and change, and really seeing past the mask I wore, I wouldn’t be who I am now. And I love who I am now! I no longer see myself as a hateful, worthless, waste of a human being, and instead, I see myself as a child of the Universe who deserves to be happy, free and loved.
I didn’t get one soulmate, I got four. Each soulmate played a crucial part in my healing, growing, and stepping into my highest self.
Each soulmate was put in my life for a reason. I consider none of those relationships a failure or a mistake. I have so much love for each soulmate who helped me to become the woman I am now. I have (and am still) healing. I’ve been drug free for years. I faced my trauma. I no longer suffer from PTSD, depression and addiction.
Each soulmate did their part to help me heal and grow, which in turn, has allowed me to show up and do the work I was put on this earth. I regret none of them.
So when you think, “he/she was the one, and now I’m going to be alone forever”, remember this – you can have more than one soulmate in a lifetime.
I hope this serves you.