Being reserved just means you’re shy and introverted, right?
It’s a common misconception that they are the same thing.
So, what makes someone reserved, then?
Here’s an insight into some of the real traits of reserved people, whether you’re one yourself or know someone who is.
1. Calm And Collected
Being calm is a pretty common trait among those who are more reserved.
That’s not to say that nothing fazes them; they just deal with things differently.
Reserved people are naturally more collected. They take their time with things and don’t rush into feelings or actions.
It’s pretty hard to rile them up, as they won’t even consider having an argument or getting aggressive.
2. Sometimes Shy
Yes, we said that not everyone who is reserved is a shy introvert, but it can be a personality trait!
Some reserved people are the way they are because they’re not overly confident.
Holding back a little bit can make it harder to meet friends and socialize, which can have a knock-on effect in terms of their self-assurance.
Socializing can be tricky for a lot of people with more reserved characteristics, so close friendships with people they trust tend to matter a lot.
A reserved person won’t air their dirty laundry in public or be dramatic. They’re often very capable in terms of managing their emotions.
They find it easy to stay in control of how they feel, which means they’re normally very good at maintaining a steady, stable mood.
Rather than the highs and lows of people who are outgoing and full of energy, reserved people can keep things nice and level.
That can really lend itself to a lot of aspects of their lives, which we’ll go into more detail about later…
Again, this characteristic varies between individuals, but many reserved people are fairly self-sufficient.
This really links to the previous point about being able to manage their emotions on their own.
They tend to deal with their own issues, rather than seeking help from others.
This can also translate into their work life and relationships, as they hold back on the drama and just get on with looking after themselves.
Being self-sufficient means that they don’t depend on a lot of socializing, as mentioned above, to feel satisfied.
5. Enjoy Alone Time
Being reserved doesn’t mean that a person hates socializing, but it can make it harder.
Many reserved individuals will choose to spend time on their own. That way, everything is on their terms, there’s nothing unexpected that might happen, and they’re in control.
This is important to them, as they don’t enjoy the pressure or unpredictable elements of socializing.
Being comfortable on your own is a valuable trait to have, and helps build a great foundation for work, personal life, and relationships.
As mentioned above, reserved individuals don’t cause much drama. Nor do they demand a lot of attention.
Because they’re comfortable with themselves, they can spend hours and hours thinking about things without realizing where the time has gone!
This means that they are pretty deep thinkers – they can distance themselves enough from any drama and emotion to get to what’s really going on; to the root cause of the issue.
This self-awareness can help them see things differently and they can really dig deep.
The ability to think clearly and delve deeper than just surface-level is an amazing skill to have!
A lot of people who are more reserved make incredible friends.
Being able to take a step back and assess the situation from afar (without being front and center in any drama) means that they can see things more clearly than those directly involved.
As such, they can be incredibly compassionate and understanding, as they can see the ins and outs of interactions and situations.
In fact, your reserved friend might realize you’re upset before you’ve even realized!
Their ability to distance themselves a bit can, oddly, make them feel even closer to you.
You may also like (article continues below):
- How To Be Emotionally Independent And Stop Relying On Others For Happiness
- How To Be Less Emotionally Sensitive
- How To Not Care What People Think
- How To Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
- How To Not Take Other People’s Words And Actions Personally
8. In The Shadows
Limelight is not something that reserved people seek out – at all!
It’s not that they don’t want to be acknowledged or appreciated, just that they would rather not have a lot of attention directed at them.
Being reserved often means being a little bit distanced from the main event. It’s this that can make reserved people so empathetic and collected.
By holding back on the attention and focusing on the intention, staying in the shadows makes reserved individuals the strong people they are.
Because they try to steer clear of drama, people who are reserved have that stability we talked about earlier.
We mentioned emotional stability, but it can apply to all aspects of life, really.
By not reacting as rashly or irrationality as some other people tend to, they give themselves the opportunity to be very consistent.
They don’t get overly stressed by changes in circumstances because they’re a bit more withdrawn from it all anyway.
That means they’re great at working to deadlines as they don’t feel the pressure like a lot of other people do; they’re seldom overwhelmed.
Their level of control over themselves helps them maintain a steady work-life balance and they just get on with it.
Again, a lot of people who have reserved personalities are very collected and non-reactive.
This makes them pretty easy-going as they’re not hugely affected by their surroundings or by other people’s behavior.
Having that distance means they can deal with things in a more relaxed manner.
They don’t get as emotionally invested or attached, which make a lot of things much easier for them to deal with.
The less you depend on other people or situations to determine how you feel, the more laid back and easy-going you can be in life.
This is something we could all learn from the reserved individuals in our lives…
11. More Appreciative
Being appreciative is a great trait to have, and something a lot of us probably need to work on!
Being reserved doesn’t mean not experiencing things; it means that everything is less overwhelming.
Because of that, a lot of things actually become more enjoyable.
Expectations or pressure tends to be lower – reserved people don’t have so much riding on things (like expecting someone they’re dating to end up being ‘the one’) so they just take things for what they are and make the most of them.
They’re also very reflective because they can step back and analyze what’s going on, which helps them enjoy the moment more rather than rushing through experiences or constantly chasing the next short-term pleasure.
12. Thinkers, Not Doers
This isn’t to say that people with reserved personalities are passive or boring, it just links back to what we were saying about being collected and deep!
This type of person will spend a lot of time imagining how things might be or planning things out.
Sure, they might follow through sometimes, but a lot of the gratification comes from thinking things over.
Reserved individuals don’t feel the need to rush into action or to start a new project out of nowhere – they take time to consider what the benefits and implications might be.
This helps them be more rounded and consistent in general.
13. Conservative Appearance
A reserved person doesn’t feel the need to shout about who they are, and this is reflected in the way they look.
They don’t often dress to stand out – they don’t want the added attention this might bring.
They are more conservative in their choice of clothes, hairstyle, and makeup, and tend to choose comfort above all else.
Their overall appearance mirrors their underlying nature.
14. Keep Opinions To Themselves
Reserved personality types hold back from expressing their opinions about things unless specifically asked.
They respect the rights of others to have different views and they don’t treat people poorly or differently just because they are opposed on certain things.
Even when asked, they phrase their responses in such a way as to not impose their opinions on others, nor make others feel bad or wrong for their own views.
They are diplomatic and peace-making, seeking to find shared ground rather than focusing on differences.
Hopefully this has given you more of an insight and understanding of the world of reserved individuals!
If someone you’re close to tends to steer clear of the limelight or avoids socializing, you might now be able to see why and not feel the need to pressure them into anything.
Don’t forget – just because they’re not on the main stage, doesn’t mean they’ve not got a huge number of amazing talents!