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Flirting might come naturally to some people, but many of us struggle to feel comfortable with it.
It can be hard to know how to act and how to give off the right impression!
Do you find flirting a challenge?
You’re in luck.
We’ve got 15 great tips on how to flirt with a guy or girl that will leave you feeling confident and ready to tackle the world of seduction and dating.
1. Make eye contact.
Sure, this one seems pretty basic, but it’s a great way to ease yourself in if you don’t know how to flirt and want to try it out!
Flirting can feel very intimidating, especially if you really like someone, and eye contact is a nice, simple start.
It’s a great way to engage with someone on a physical level without getting too touchy-feely.
It shows that you’re interested in them and what they’re saying or doing.
It’s a good way to show that you like someone without feeling like you’re going overboard, and it doesn’t really require much effort on your part.
2. Get playful.
Being flirty is about being a bit silly every so often, so don’t be scared to have fun with it.
You can go for a hair toss and a giggle, give them a flirty tap on the arm, and just play around with things to see what feels comfortable.
Flirting should feel exciting, so enjoy yourself and let go. It’s all about bonding and spending time with someone who makes you feel good.
Being playful is a good way to show you’re interested – letting yourself be silly in front of someone you like encourages them to see the many different sides to your personality.
It shows that you’re comfortable around them and like to have fun, which are both great traits in someone you think you might want to date.
3. Get tactile.
Physical contact (as long as you’re both comfortable with it!) can be a really fun way to flirt and show that you’re interested in someone.
A playful tap on the arm, bumping knees, or playing footsie can all be great ways of flirting.
There are ways to be quite subtle with this, so don’t worry about making a move or putting yourself out there too much.
You can take it as slowly as you need to and just enjoy being close and being tactile with each other.
4. Make it personal.
Part of flirting is showing that you like the other person, which means paying attention and having a personal connection.
If you’ve got a crush on this person, you’ll probably be doing this anyway, but it’s a good idea to show that you’re listening and want to interact with them.
Keep the conversation personal – it can feel tricky at first and you may feel vulnerable, but talking about things that you care about is a good way to flirt and let the other person get to know you.
It’s always lovely when someone shares their feelings with you and talks about things they’re interested in.
So share your personality, interests, and passions with the person you fancy and you’ll connect on a whole other level!
5. Follow through.
Flirting isn’t just about getting giggly over a glass of wine – it’s about showing you mean what you’re saying.
That means following through!
Send a text after seeing them to say how much you enjoyed their company. Let them know you’re thinking of them and show that you’re interested beyond just one date.
Most people like feeling cared about and like it when someone is interested in them.
If you’re sending them texts or referencing time you’ve spent together, it shows that you’ve committed on a (small) level, which a lot of people will find very flattering and exciting.
6. Tease – nicely.
Now, don’t go in too hard and be mean!
But some gentle teasing can be a fun and silly way of showing you care, and that you’re comfortable with someone and want to make them laugh.
Teasing is also a good way to show your fun side – you can even tease yourself and laugh at your own expense a little bit, as this shows you don’t take things too seriously.
Sometimes, bonding with someone comes from gently poking fun at them, so don’t be afraid to try out this flirting tip with your crush.
7. Show interest – and mean it.
One of the best ways to flirt is to genuinely show interest.
Ask questions that matter – and listen to the answer.
Talk about things you know they like, ask about their hobbies and what they’ve been up to.
The more you can show an interest in their life, the more they’ll be able to picture you in it.
Most of us like receiving attention, and what better way than by someone wanting to know more about you?
Showing you care is a good way of flirting, and it helps you get to know each other more. It gives you a chance to show off your personality, too, which is always a good thing!
8. Surprise them.
Now, we’re not talking about a big romantic gesture, but a small surprise can go a long way.
Little things like bringing them a coffee at work or buying them a drink on a work night out can be really effective signals of interest.
They show that you want to make an effort and that you’ve gone out of your way to do something nice – it’s flattering!
It’s also always nice to get free coffee…
9. Remember the details.
This ties quite a few tips together, but it’s a really important one that deserves to be highlighted.
Remembering small details is a great way to show that you’re paying attention – you’re not just zoning out while they talk, you’re not just flirting for the sake of it, you’re investing in them by taking the time to remember what they say.
You can bring things up subtly – “oh, how did X go on Friday?” – or by openly talking about a certain, very specific thing they mentioned.
It’s a lovely way to show you’re serious about getting to know them.
It can also be fun and silly, reminding them of funny things they’ve said or done – either way, you’re bonding, which is a key part of successful flirting.
10. Use emojis – if you feel shy in person.
If you’re more comfortable getting flirty over text, emojis are a great way to show you’re interested in someone.
Some of us find it hard to flirt in person and can get a bit flustered, so messaging can be a good way to show someone you like them.
A few smiley faces or winky faces can be a great way to flirt if you’re shy.
It might sound silly, but if you’re someone who finds flirting hard or you struggle to show your feeling without getting flustered, a cheeky emoji can go a long way!
11. Use your body language.
Be conscious of your body language while you’re around the person you fancy.
It’s all about being a bit more open – by having more open body language, you’ll be communicating on a whole different level!
Relax your shoulders, point your feet toward them (apparently your feet point to whatever you’re most interested in!), and don’t be afraid to get expressive with your hands.
The more relaxed and open your body language is, the more flirtatious you’ll come across.
This is also a really lovely way to help you feel more confident and comfortable.
We’re big believers in ‘fake it ’till you make it’ – the more you ‘act’ with your body language, the more you’ll start to believe that you feel confident and sexy.
And, as well all know, the better you feel, the more you’ll be able to enjoy yourself – which is what flirting with your crush is all about, after all…
12. Be present.
One of the biggest ways to show interest is to be present – when your crush is talking or doing something, pay attention.
Stop scrolling through your phone or looking around the room!
Look at them, focus on them, and show that you’re committed to this moment in time with them.
It might sound pretty basic, but it really does make a difference.
It’s very flattering to have someone’s full attention and to feel like they’re genuinely involved and interested in what you’re saying or doing – give that feeling to someone else by being present.
This also shows that you’re ready to make space for the person in your life.
A lot of people, in the early stages of dating or seeing someone, can get a bit anxious – by flirting a bit and showing that you can make time for someone, you’re easing that stress within their mind.
It’s a huge compliment for someone to invest in spending time with you and getting to know you!
13. Stay close.
A big part of flirting is getting closer – emotionally and physically.
Staying close (not in a creepy way!) is a good way to show that you’re interested.
This links in to our earlier points on body language and touching, but it’s important in its own right.
Being close to someone and letting them be close to you is a great way to show interest – and comfort.
The more comfortable you are with your crush, the more likely things are to work out between you two.
Being physically close can help people realize how they feel about you – it’s hard to know if you fancy someone sat at the other end of the table!
But, if they’re up close, they smell good, and they’re giving you eye contact? It gets a bit more intense and you’ll both feel way more comfortable flirting and seeing where things go.
14. Ask questions.
Asking questions is such an underrated method of flirting.
As with many of the tips on this list, it’s pretty straightforward – the whole point of flirting is how you both feel, so, sometimes, basic is best.
Asking questions is a far more effective display of interest than mindless chat.
Ask questions – and listen to the answer – and then ask further questions based on what they’ve said.
This shows that you want to communicate on a deeper level, rather than just asking a question and semi-listening to the response before moving on to something totally different!
This way of flirting is nice and easy – and it’s great if you’re new to flirting or are feeling a bit nervous.
That’s because you’re putting the focus back on the other person, so there’s less pressure on you.
While they’re responding to your question, you can take your time to think of what to say or do next, which makes it easier to relax into it and just enjoy getting to know your crush a bit more.
Related article: 7 Questions To Ask To Really Get To Know Someone
We’ve saved the most important one ’till last, folks!
Smiling is so important – it lets the other person know that you’re open and friendly, and that you’re a genuine person with real feelings.
Getting to know someone can be a bit stressful at times, as you may both be feeling a bit of pressure to be funny, charming, and smart.
By smiling, you take a bit of a step back – it’s reassuring for the other person to see you smiling and reminds them that this is meant to be fun!
Dating and flirting can sometimes feel a bit like a job interview – you’re on your best behavior, you want to make a good impression, and you’re probably feeling quite self-conscious.
By smiling, you lighten the mood for both of you and set the tone to be friendly, and flirting, without having to say anything.
Give it a try and you’ll instantly feel the other person relax into it a bit more – and you’ll probably feel a bit more chilled out as well.
Smiling shows your human side (which can sometimes get a little bit lost in the big effort to be the ‘perfect date’), and it lets them see you as a genuine possibility.
Smiling lets them see the real you that they can maybe picture themselves in a relationship with!
Remember that this is all meant to be fun, so don’t force yourself into any situations that make you feel uncomfortable.
Flirting is about connecting with someone else and getting to know them, so don’t be afraid to open yourself up to that.
It can be really daunting at first, and you might feel a bit awkward or shy, or out of your comfort zone.
The aim is to get closer to someone you like, so feel free to be honest with them if you’re finding it a bit hard to flirt. They’ll appreciate the honesty and probably like you even more for it!
At the end of the day, if they’re replying to your messages, agreeing to spend time with you, and paying attention to you, they like you back as well.
Which means the hard part is over and you just get to enjoy flirting, getting to know them, and seeing where it takes you…
Still not sure how to make your flirting come across as natural and make it effective? It’s not an easy situation to be in, and it might be all the more difficult if you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Talking to someone is a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.
We really recommend you speak to an experienced relationship expert rather than a friend or family member. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can listen to you and offer tailored advice to help you master your own unique style of flirting.
A good place to get help is the website Relationship Hero – here, you’ll be able to connect with a relationship counselor via phone, video, or instant message.
While you can try to work through this situation yourself, you may improve sooner with expert help. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.
Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to flirt without ever truly getting to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a relationship expert is 100% the best way forward.
Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.
You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to an expert. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.
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