It’s a question that has no doubt entered almost every man’s mind at some point in his life.
After all, what better way to avoid rejection than by figuring out how a girl feels before signalling your romantic interest?
Yet women can sometimes be quite hard to figure out, even when we think we’re making things blatantly obvious to the guy we’re into.
And let’s be honest, you men aren’t all that great at reading the signs much of the time.
Especially when your judgement is clouded by little hearts swimming in front of your eyes when you look at someone you really fancy.
Whether you like her and aren’t sure whether she’d say yes if you asked her out, or you’ve already been out, but you’re not sure whether she’s keen to carry things on, reading a girl can be a bit of a minefield.
The key is to watch for particular behaviors and other cues that indicate her mutual attraction to you. Or, at the very least, her willingness to engage with you and explore things further.
Some might be subtle, while others border on flirting, but here are some telltale signs that she’s into you.
1. You Catch Her Looking At You
When we like a guy, we’ll end up watching him a lot whether we like it or not, and we probably won’t be that good at hiding it. If you look at her and catch her staring, that’s a good sign.
If she smiles at you when your eyes meet, or if she responds to your smile by smiling back, that’s even more positive. Especially if it’s one of those sweet, shy smiles that comes when you’ve been caught staring.
After all, it’s hard to hide your true feelings in the moment when you’re not prepared for it.
On the other hand, and because we’re nothing if not contrary, another sign (especially if nothing has happened between you yet) is that she literally never looks at you.
She’ll studiously avoid your gaze because she doesn’t want to be too obvious.
2. And She Looks FOR You
If she comes into a room and knows you’re going to be there, watch to see if her eyes seek you out when she arrives.
Even if she doesn’t come over to you and goes to her friends instead, the fact she’s checking to see if you’re there is a very good sign, as it means you’ve been on her mind.
Those little glances signal that she is preparing herself mentally for an interaction with you later on.
3. She Starts Treating You Differently
If you’ve known her for a while as a friend and she’s suddenly developed feelings for you, she’d have to be an incredible actor to stop her behavior toward you from changing.
If you had quite a close, affectionate relationship before and she suddenly stops touching you or starts treating you differently to the way she does other guys you both know, something’s probably up.
She may no longer feel as comfortable being that friendly because in her heart she wants more. She may want to be your girlfriend, but there’s a good chance she’s also worried about being rejected or ruining a perfectly good friendship.
4. She Replies To Your Messages
Again, this will vary from girl to girl, but generally, if we like someone, we’ll message them back pretty quickly.
That’s unless you’ve got into the dreaded ‘game’ of only replying after three days and feigning disinterest, in which case she’ll stick to that because most girls don’t want to seem like the ‘keen’ one.
Although some people thrive off these games, most girls don’t have time for them. If you keep playing, she’ll probably lose interest pretty quickly, so for the love of god stop messing around and text her back.
5. She Seems Nervous
When you first meet up, does she get a little tongue-tied? Does she struggle to come up with topics of conversation?
Is she not quite sure how to greet you? Should it be a handshake? A hug? A kiss on the cheek? A kiss on both cheeks? Or does she just stand there awkwardly?
If a woman likes you, she’ll have butterflies in her stomach when she first sees you, and that might mean her brain takes a short holiday.
She should soon relax into your company, but initial nerves are a sure sign she’s interested.
6. She’s Touchy-feely
Some girls are uncomfortable with contact in public, so this doesn’t always apply, but generally, if she’s into you, she’ll find ways to touch you, even if they’re only small gestures.
Touching your arm is definitely a good clue, as it’s deliberate and surprisingly intimate. Or she might flirt in another physical way such as playfully hitting you or even being more direct if she’s confident and highly attracted to you.
7. She Makes Plans
There’s nothing more infuriating than parting ways with a guy you like without any clear idea of when you’re seeing each other next.
If she’s not bothered about seeing you again, she’ll probably keep things vague, but if she’s interested in you, she might suggest certain days or times she’s free for another date.
Make sure you take her up on one of them if you can and pin down a plan, or she might think you’re not interested in meeting up again and go off the boil.
Having set plans gives her the reassurance she’s going to see you again, and means she doesn’t have to wait around for you to make a suggestion, which can get extremely tedious.
8. Her Friends Behave Differently
If she likes you, chances are her friends know all about it and will react in ways that reflect this. Perhaps they leave you two alone when you approach her or maybe they drop little hints when they talk to you.
Either way, friends are often less subtle about things to the point where they give very good clues as to the feelings of the girl herself. They may even tell you outright that she likes you – if you’re lucky!
9. She Laughs And Smiles
If you know your jokes are bad and she’s still laughing at them, that’s an excellent sign that’s she’s got a crush on you.
When we’re really interested in what someone has to say, we don’t just focus on them with our eyes, we turn our whole body toward them.
If her shoulders are square on to you, she’s really focusing her attention on you. Though, it’s also important to watch her feet because if these remain pointed away from you, she’s might be hesitant to fully engage.
She’ll have open body language that is inviting and warm. She certainly won’t have crossed arms. She might also stand a little taller and push her shoulders back to expose more of her neck.
15. She Moves A Little Closer
If a girl is into you, she will probably lean in when you are talking or even take half a step toward you so as to fully engage with you.
Since this effectively pushes the boundaries of your personal space, it’s quite an intimate thing to do. But it shows interest in what you are saying and her high level of comfort around you.
16. She Tilts And/Or Drops Her Head
Another thing she might do without even realizing it is to tilt her head to one side slightly when you are talking. This expresses interest and shows that she is receptive to what you are saying.
This head tilt may be accompanied by a slight dropping of her chin toward the ground. The result is that her gaze is turned upward to your face, reducing her jaw line and giving her the classic puppy dog eye look.
This is a slightly submissive pose that shows vulnerability and appeals to the man’s protective nature.
17. She Mirrors Your Gestures And Language
We humans naturally copy what others are doing if we want to appeal to them. This could be among friends or even in business settings, but it is particularly prominent in dating scenarios.
So if you spot her mirroring your gestures, your body language, or the things that you say, it’s her subconscious mind revealing its attraction to you.
18. She Remembers Things You Say
If she likes you, she’ll probably be listening to you.
If you’ve mentioned the name of your aunt’s dog or your little brother’s birthday and she remembers, that’s proof she’s hanging on your every word and is genuinely interested in what you’re telling her, rather than zoning out.
Don’t judge us too harshly on this one because some of us have horrendous memories (we’re only human), but if she remembers little things you’ve said, she’s clearly keen.
19. She’ll Ask You Questions
Not only will she listen to what you have to say, she will dig a little deeper by asking you questions. She wants to get to know the real you to assess whether you are boyfriend material.
She’s trying to figure out whether or not there is a connection there, so be prepared for some flirty banter that focuses mostly on you.
And she’ll want to find out about any common interests you may share and about any skeletons hiding in your closet.
20. She May Talk About More Personal, Intimate Things
Perhaps not straight away, but as you get to know each other and feel more comfortable talking about things, she may direct the conversation to topics that show a level of intimacy or vulnerability.
This could be your dreams, your fears, your beliefs, your preferences when it comes to children, or even heartache or trauma from her past.
The fact that she is opening up to you reveals that she is taking this blossoming relationship seriously.
21. She Gives You Her Undivided Attention
When the two of you are talking, she will put away her phone, ignore passing distractions, and focus her energies on you.
This is her way of showing that she is invested in what you have to say and that your words mean something to her.
And she won’t just listen to reply like many people do in casual conversation, her responses will be thoughtful, show interest, and make you feel listened to.
22. She Compliments You
If a woman wants you to have that warm, happy feeling when you’re together, she might give you a compliment or say other nice things about you.
She may speak positively about what you’re wearing or other aspects of your appearance. Or she might remark on something you did that particularly impressed her.
Whatever the context, if she is saying kind things about you, it’s a good sign that she wants you to like her.
23. She Hints Or Reveals That She’s Single
If you don’t know a girl and have just met her at a party or bar or through friends, you might be wondering what her relationship status is.
But if she is interested in you on that level after getting to know you a little bit, chances are she will find a way to let slip that she is currently free and single.
If she brings this up, it’s one of the strongest signs that she likes what she sees. If she didn’t, there would be little reason in bringing such a personal detail up.
What’s more, she’ll be very attentive to your reaction to assess whether you are also single and what your underlying emotions about her are.
24. She Caresses An Object In Her Hands
This one’s a little tricky because a woman holding something in her hands can mean very different things.
The key to figuring it out is to watch how she holds and interacts with it. Does she caress it or does she grip it tight? Does she focus on the object a lot, or are her hands moving subconsciously?
If she is holding a drink, for example, and gently stirring it whilst maintaining eye contact with you, it’s more likely to be a sign that she is relaxed and open to you as a person.
If, on the other hand, she is clutching her handbag across her midriff and looking away from you a lot, she’s trying to maintain a physical barrier between you and her either because she’s not interested, or because she is not yet comfortable enough in your presence.
Big, showy gestures have their place (we’re never going to complain if a guy sweeps us off to Paris on a mini-break…), but when a girl wants to show that she likes someone, it’ll be through the little details rather than anything grand.
She might cook you dinner; she might buy you something small and silly; she might do something thoughtful for your birthday…
If she does something that requires an investment of time rather than money, she’s definitely into you and trying to show it.
Look For Repeated Signals
Noticing several of these signs is clearly very helpful when you are trying to figure out if a girl likes you as more than just friends, but the picture grows ever clearer the more you see these things repeated.
In isolation, these signs can be misinterpreted as something more than they are. Yet each time you see them, you can grow in confidence with regards to her true feelings toward you.
Like Her Back?
If she’s giving you all the right signals, you need to reciprocate to make sure she knows she’s not alone in this. She’ll be watching you closely for signs, just as you are her.
Katie splits her time between writing and translation. She writes about travel and self-care and never stays in one place for too long. She’s currently based in beautiful Cornwall, England, after long stints in Brazil and Mexico. She spends her free time trail running, exploring and devouring vegan food.