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Life can be monotonous at times, particularly when you’re settled into a regular routine. It kind of creeps up on you – you get up, go to work, get home, and repeat. Sprinkle in additional adult responsibilities, and life can get downright boring.
How exciting is deciding what to have for dinner next week?
How stimulating is it to work through the unending dirty clothes basket?
Modern culture focuses so much on productivity and being busy that we often forget to rest and relax. Unfortunately, that monotony of existence can make things pretty drab if you don’t change up your life once in a while.
It can make you feel like you have no life at all.
What can you do about it?
1. Schedule rest, relaxation, and exercise into your week.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Do you just not have the time to do anything fun or exciting? Well, then you need to actively block out time in your schedule for rest and relaxation. It may sound silly, but when you’re living a busy life with a lot of stress, it’s easy to get swept up in that flow.
There isn’t time to just sit down and relax for a few minutes. You need to get to that next meeting, pick up the kids, go to the grocery store for food! On and on and on it goes.
There will always be something more to do. That’s why you have to take control of your time and purposefully create space for self-care: rest, relaxation, and exercise.
Treat that self-care with the same importance as your biggest responsibilities – because it is. You’re no good to anyone if you’re burned out, overworked, overwhelmed, and constantly stressed out.
2. Pick up a hobby that will introduce you to new people.
A new social hobby allows you to address two causes of feeling like you have no life. First, you get to learn something new, promoting growth and curiosity. Second, you get to meet new people which allows you to build new social connections, make new friends, and expand your life experience.
You can try websites like Meetup to look for groups or activities in your area. Local newspapers, shops with notice boards, or community centers can also be good places to find activities.
Try taking a class from a local art center or community college if you have one. Many places have local sports leagues for adults, like basketball or softball, where you can play casually with others.
New hobbies can be great for pulling yourself out of a rut, but try to pick something social.
3. Do some volunteer work with an organization.
Do you lack purpose in your life? Having a “why” can make life much more bearable and exciting.
Many people get hung up on finding their specific purpose. No need for that; just pick something and do it.
Passionate about animals? Volunteer with an animal shelter.
Passionate about mental health? Support groups and organizations need volunteers.
Passionate about your community? There are certainly community volunteer opportunities somewhere in your local area. Try reaching out to local churches or community centers. They should be able to put you in touch with someone.
No passion for anything? Pick something, literally anything, and go do it. You’ll meet new people, gain new experiences, and figure out if you like it or not. And if you don’t like it, pick something else!
4. Take some time off work to do something fun.
This is more specific than just scheduling yourself some time for rest and relaxation.
The modern work culture can be extremely toxic at times. We are often pressured to do things like work while sick, not take vacation time, and feel guilty about utilizing the benefits we earn through our work.
Granted, not everyone has the luxury of a good job with good benefits. Sometimes people don’t take their time off because they just don’t have time off, which is an entirely different discussion altogether.
But if you do have vacation and sick time, use it when you can. Take time off. Don’t just roll it back because you have things to do at work. You’ll always have things to do at work. That’s one of the defining features of work. They pay you to perform the actions that keep the business going. That happens every day.
Don’t let work be your life. Don’t let your work run into your personal life. At the end of the day, we’re all replaceable as cogs in that machine.
5. Reconnect with what sparks your flame.
You may be feeling like you have no life because you’ve lost touch with the things that are important to you. That’s pretty easy to do when you’re going with the flow of life, keeping up with your responsibilities, and trying to get ahead.
Take some time to reconnect with the things that spark your flame. Do you have old friends you can reach out to? Hobbies you can reconnect with? An activity that brought you a lot of happiness or joy that you just can’t seem to find the time for now?
Find the time to reach out and reconnect with the things that gave you happiness and joy. See if that will help jar you out of your rut and put you back on a better track.
6. Let go of friendships that no longer serve you.
Sometimes, we may feel like we have no life because of the people we surround ourselves with.
For example, let’s say you’re someone who drinks too much. You know you drink too much, and you want to do something else. But your social life is mostly based around going to the bar, hanging out with your friends, and getting drunk.
Many people who find themselves in that position realize that the only thing they have in common with their drinking buddies is the drinking part. They decide to cut back or get sober, look for other activities, but their “friends” would rather hit the bar and get drunk.
These friends may have been right for that particular life experience, but it doesn’t mean that they will always be right. Sometimes the people around you can pull you into a rut and keep you there by influencing your choices.
It’s normal to grow and decide to want more. It’s normal to want to feel like you have a life, things to look forward to, and more things to experience. But you may not be able to do that with the people that surround you.
p>Maybe it’s an unhealthy parent who imposes their fears onto you. Maybe it’s a partner who is perfectly fine with their status quo. Maybe it’s your drinking buddies or the friends you did dumb stuff with to have fun.
It’s okay to outgrow relationships if they are no longer positively contributing to your life.
7. Go on an adventure. Take a risk!
Do you feel like you have no life? Do you find everything boring? Are you stuck in a rut that you just can’t seem to get out of?
What you might need is a little adventure and risk in your life!
The problem with staying in your comfort zone is that it’s pretty comfortable. As in, you can sit down, relax, and not have things disturb your peace. And while that is definitely a good thing when you need some downtime, it’s a bad thing when it comes to living your life!
Personal growth, adventure, excitement… all of these things and more are sitting right outside of your comfort zone, waiting for you to find them.
Shake things up a bit! Go on an adventure! Even if it’s just a road trip to a nearby city on a day off to see something new. That bit of change and risk can liven things up for you.
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” – John A. Shedd
Go out and sail.
Still not sure how to get more of a life? Speak to a life coach today who can walk you through the process. Simply click here to connect with one.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Will more friends mean more of a life?
Having more friends generally brings positive benefits to your life, but you don’t need a lot of friends – just the right amount for you. If you aren’t typically a very social person, if you enjoy your own company, and if you are an introvert who feels drained after social activity, a few good friends is all you’ll need.
It is worth trying to turn some of your acquaintances into friends if you can, but don’t force it if you don’t have much in common. You can’t be good friends with just anyone. If you can, try to find people who not only enjoy similar things to you, but whose personalities match your own. Having similar personalities is just as important as having similar interests, though having both is best.
What if the things I enjoy the most are solitary activities?
There are often ways to turn solitary activities into social activities, and you may find this an enjoyable experience. Take reading a book, for example. It’s something you do by yourself, but books clubs exist in most towns where you can talk about a book after reading it. Or go to a book signing where you’ll meet other fans of a particular author or genre to connect with.
What if I just don’t feel like doing anything?
If you struggle to bring yourself to do anything at all, the first thing you should do is consult your health professional. You may be suffering from depression or some other mental health issue that requires treatment.
If you don’t really enjoy anything, it can be helpful to look for the positives in the things you do and be grateful for them, even if you didn’t enjoy them that much at the time. Did you learn something new? Did you get out in the fresh air? Did you strike up a conversation with someone?
Even just looking for the neutral aspects of a situation can help, especially when you are trying new things where it might take time for you to get good at it and get to know others.
By focusing on the positives – or at the very least not the negatives – of an experience, you train you mind to feel more positively about partaking in activities. This can create the small bit of motivation you need to push yourself to get out and do things.
I don’t have a job and don’t have much money. What should I do?
If you are currently unemployed, that can be reason enough to think that you don’t have a life. As much as many people complain about it, work can provide some level of meaning and fulfillment as well as a social element.
This article already touched upon volunteer work and that is your best bet in terms of getting some of the benefits of work, even if you don’t get paid for it.
If you are struggling to even find volunteering opportunities nearby, you can still do good for the community and your neighbors by offering your services to others – for free or even for a small fee. Does an elderly neighbor need their lawn mowing? Does a busy dog owner need help walking their pet pooches? Could you pick up litter from the green spaces near you to make them more enjoyable for everybody?
Sometimes, just getting out of the house and doing something that helps others can give you a sense of purpose.
What’s the secret to living a better life?
The not-so-secret secret to getting more out of your life is to be proactive. You have to go out and do things if you aren’t already. Or if you’re too busy, you need to be proactive about rest and relaxation.
You have 86400 seconds in each day, and a level of control over how you spend those seconds. Where you have a choice, make the choice that adds to your life in some way.
Just remember to take small steps at a time. Keep moving in the right direction whenever you can, but don’t expect change overnight. To have a life, you have to build a life, and that takes time. It won’t always be smooth sailing either – sometimes you might even have to take a backward step or two.
Set big goals and have big ambitions, by all means, but maintain a realistic attitude at all times and be flexible as to how and when you achieve those goals. Break big goals down into lots of smaller goals and celebrate as you complete each one. And not all goals will work out – that’s okay and you shouldn’t worry too much about it. Just get up, dust yourself off, and start again with a different goal.
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