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50 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend That Will Have Her Smiling From Ear To Ear

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If your girlfriend needs cheering up, or you just love to see her beautiful smile, tell her one of these jokes.

They work over text or when you’re together and you’re guaranteed a laugh (or at least a smirk at how ridiculous some of them are)!

Some are cute, some are corny, some are… well, you’ll see. All of them are fun and we’ve got 50 of them for you to play around with (that should last you a while).

1. You must love Italian food because you’ve stolen a pizza my heart.

2. Knock knock! Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean thinking about you all day!

3. Girls are like microwaves. No one knows how they work!

4. What do you call someone who’s passionate about women’s rights but also very hungry? A famine-ist!

5. Girlfriends are like fine wine. There’s no way they can be as expensive as they claim.

6. Girlfriends are like balloons. If you squeeze them too hard they go soft.

7. I know that if you were a cheese, you’d brie mine forever!

8. Are you unsatisfied with my body? Because a tiny part of me thinks you might be.

9. Are you an internet router? Because you’re Wi-Fi material.

10. If we were undead, I’d call you my ghoul-friend.

11. My ex said that all men are dumb, but I don’t know what she meant by that.

12. Have you felt my shirt? That’s boyfriend material.

13. How do you know when you’ve met your perfect man? Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.

14. Do you like the idea of a Nuclear Family? I’d be worried about the radiation.

15. Knock knock! Who’s there? Aldo. Aldo who? Aldo anything for you!

16. We should buy a new BBQ this summer. I’ll call you my grill-friend.

17. When I propose, I’m going to give you a new phone. That way I can give you a ring every day.

18. Why is the marina a great place for a date? Because you’re boat-iful!

19. Why did the snowman split up with his snow-girlfriend? She was cold!

20. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you pretty hard!

21. Are you a seamstress? Because I’m sew into you!

22. Relationships are like shoes. We’re soul-mates.

23. Are we an omelette? I think we make an eggs-ellent pair!

24. What do you call a sick woman? Ma-lady.

25. Hey, are you an archaeologist? I really dig you!

26. Why are zoos a great place for a date? It’s a great chance for koal-ity time and I ain’t lion.

27. Where should we eat tonight? I know you’ll shoot down my first 10 suggestions, so I’ll just make up some restaurants.

28. You must be a ten because you always have my a-ten-tion!

29. Are you a luddite? Amish you so much when you’re away!

30. Are you a dictionary? Because you give me meaning!

31. Are you a taser? Because you’re stunning!

32. Why do women traditionally look after children? Because the men boy-cott them!

33. Are you a grill? You make me melt!

34. I try to embrace my mistakes, that’s why I hug you so much.

35. Men these days only think about one thing: what to say when their girlfriends ask what they’re thinking about.

36. I think I might be a tyre because I’m always pumped to see you.

37. Can you change colour? Because you’re one in chameleon!

38. Are you a jumper? I hope you wool be mine forever!

39. You are like a Chinese takeout. I love you, but I can never get enough of you.

40. Are you a baker? Because you’re the loaf of my life!

41. We should visit the Antarctic because we’ll have an ice time!

42. Let’s try role-play! You be a pincushion and I’ll be a shortsighted hedgehog.

43. You and me, were like a bundle of wood. We stick together!

44. You’re like a spoonful of sugar – too sweet!

45. Only lonely people know where all of their things are.

46. I’m so happy when I’m around you, I could be an astronaut—I’m over the moon!

47. You are like coffee. I can’t start my day without you.

48. Do you have bees? Because you’re a keeper!

49. Are you a barista? Because I love you a-latte!

50. Relationships are like a game of football. You spend ages trying to score against each other, but if we decided to work together we could all go home early.

These jokes are ideal to brighten up your girlfriend’s day, but don’t stop at these—if you really want to make her laugh, try to think up a few of your own. You can use these as inspiration, but consider what things mean a lot to you and your relationship and then base your jokes around those things.

For example, if you both enjoy eating curry, you could say, “I love ordering a spicy vindaloo with you. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

It doesn’t have to be the best joke if it’s something that relates to you both and your girlfriend will appreciate the effort you put into it.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.