When you expect other people to behave in a certain way, you’ll be disappointed easily and often.
That’s why you need to let go of your preconceived ideas and standards and just let things be. Specifically, you need to detach any expectations with regards to the following 7 points.
Stop expecting others to…
1. Agree With You (Or Even Understand You)
It’s mindboggling to try and conceive of 7 billion completely unique people living on this planet, but that’s precisely what we have.
With this in mind, disagreement is inevitable; there is no possible way that everyone is going to think or believe the same things as you.
Heck, there will be times when the people you’re communicating with won’t even understand your views!
So, when others have conflicting opinions on something, you just need to accept this and let your mind move on. If you get stuck dwelling on the disagreement, it will drive further negative emotions and the likely result will be a full blown argument.
Stop expecting others to…
2. Like You
Following on from the previous point about the immeasurable variety of people and their opinions, you can’t expect everyone to actually like you.
The things that make you YOU will sometimes irritate others and vice versa.
What you should remember, however, is that there are plenty of people who like and love you for who you are. Know that this is enough and that trying to make other people like you is a thankless task that only requires a sacrifice on your part (a sacrifice of your true nature).
Being yourself is a battle; one that is hard to always win. If you want everyone to like you, you’ll find yourself in a never-ending war.
Stop expecting others to…
3. Be ‘Ok’ All Of The Time
You’d probably be the first person to admit that you’re not always feeling bright and cheery, so you need to stop expecting others to be just that.
There are many reasons why someone might feel down: illness, tiredness, stress, work, or relationships, for example.
Just because you’d like them to be fine, it doesn’t make it so. You need to accept that people will experience ups and downs over time; it’s a very natural thing to go through.
And when they are feeling down, you should try to empathize with them and their situation; telling people to shake it off and pick themselves up is not always as helpful as you may think.
Stop expecting others to…
4. Read Your Mind
Your mind is off limits to everyone else, but it’s not always easy to remember this.
How many times have you expected someone else to know how you are feeling or what you are thinking? Sure, they may be able to read some signs, but there’s always going to be some guesswork involved.
The problem is, when someone close to you doesn’t instantly know what’s going on in your head, you can see this as a sign that they don’t care. It can generate ill feeling and cause friction. Sound familiar?
Instead, if you have something on your mind, it is almost always better to just come out and say it. By sharing your troubles and expressing your feelings, you can start to heal and it can feel like a weight has been lifted.
Stop expecting others to…
5. Change/Not Change
We are all growing as individuals; our everyday experiences become a part of us and new neural connections are made all the time.
Some of us may experience much more rapid change than others and this can be a major source of displeasure.
You probably wish that some people in your life could stay the same forever because you know and love them exactly as they are. For others, you may wish they could change because you see things in them that you don’t like.
Unfortunately, you cannot stop someone from changing and nor can you make them change. The source of angst is the same in both cases – you fear losing this person from your life.
On the one hand, you fear that some people might change and this could drive you further apart, while on the other hand, you can’t see a friendship/relationship continuing unless that person changes.
It may be hard to come to terms with the transient nature of life and how some people are bound to stop being a part of yours. Expecting anything different, however, will only make the separation more difficult.
Stop expecting others to…
6. Fix Your Problems
When you are a child, you may rely on your parents or other family members to come to your assistance when you have a problem.
In adult life, you can probably still expect family, and by this point good friends, to give you some advice and help from time to time. This not only makes good sense, but it helps reinforce relationships.
You cannot, however, expect them to fix all of your problems for you. They have their own lives to lead and you are fully grown and capable of looking after yourself.
You need to start showing your independence and maturity by tackling the issues that present themselves rather than running from them. As long as you rely on others to tell you what to do, you’ll never find the freedom to live your life; you won’t be walking your own path, but one that has been prescribed for you.
Stop expecting…
7. The Worst In Others
It is my strong belief that most of us are genuinely good people who are full of love and compassion.
Despite this, it’s not uncommon for people to assume the worst about others – whether they know them or not.
You might expect them to cancel on you, to start an argument, to not pay you back the money they owe. You convince yourself that a stranger is going to laugh at you, belittle you, or harm you in some way.
It might be that having low expectations of someone is a way to avoid disappointment, but it can also breed the very behavior you wish not to experience.
Instead, as can be seen in school pupils across the country, when you expect good things from someone, when you encourage them, and when you provide the environment in which they can shine, they often will.
Rather than assume the worst of someone, try to envisage the good instead. This positive attitude can be self-fulfilling in how others treat you.
