What does success mean to you? It likely means something very different to today’s youth, as the success metrics they’re inundated with can be both unrealistic, and damaging. Here are just 13 ways in which the current culture is misleading young people today.
1. It promotes excessive and unrealistic comparisons.
Most youths today spend most of their time online. As such, most of what they see is carefully curated, highly filtered, and digitally altered content with idealistic captions, rather than realistic depictions of everyday existence. This results in them measuring their own successes against the distorted, faked-out lifestyles of their so-called peers. Researchers describe this as “upward comparison,” whereby people compare themselves to those they deem as superior.
But in reality, the ones they’re aspiring to be like (or surpass) have many advantages that the average person never will. This could be a brimming trust fund for top-tier education and property ownership, access to the best nutrition and plastic surgery, or digital programs that make them look completely different than they do in real life. Or they could be lying about everything they post, making others feel inadequate about successes that don’t truly exist.
2. It encourages them to measure their self-worth based on likes and followers.
According to experts, teenagers today are growing up with more anxiety, and lower self-esteem due to social media.
A lot of young people today measure their self-worth by how many followers or likes they get on social media. If they don’t get the attention they think they deserve, they may go to great lengths to garner said attention—even if those antics may be damaging in the long run.
The content they share for the sake of popularity may reveal more about themselves than they realize. They may have temporary glory as an “influencer”, but end up being stalked, harassed, and even blacklisted from future career paths, depending on what they’ve posted. Most don’t consider the long-term ramifications of posting personal thoughts or images that will exist online in perpetuity.
3. It overemphasizes the importance of wealth and attention.
The idea of success is often measured by how much financial wealth someone has accrued, how large their network is, and how many awards they’ve won. So what happens if they lose their fortune, their network falls apart, and those awards are rendered meaningless?
These external quantifiers don’t take personal growth, loving relationships, and personal fulfillment into account. A “successful” person is one who can lose all of their material possessions and still feel wealthy because of the knowledge and friendships they have amassed over the years.
4. It promotes job prestige and workaholism.
One of the first things that people are asked is “What do you do?”, and their response determines whether the conversation will continue, or end abruptly. This is because modern society places an emphasis on high-status, high-paying careers instead of work paths that inspire passion or joy. As such, a carpenter who loves their work will be glossed over in favor of a lawyer who’s just in it for the money.
Furthermore, a healthy work-life balance isn’t at the top of people’s priority lists. Instead, long hours spent working to exhaustion are admired, with folks one-upping each other about their workaholism and lack of sleep. This only results in long-term health issues and burnout.
5. It encourages instant personal gratification.
Young people today seem to have a “jolts per minute” fixation: everything needs to offer immediate results and high dopamine spikes. As a result, they don’t cultivate the ability of sustained focus. If they can’t attain a goal within a short time span, they won’t bother. This prevents them from pursuing long-term plans, since gratification will be delayed by years of hard work.
Additionally, their prioritization of personal gratification doesn’t encompass altruism towards their community, or social welfare as a whole. Unless they’re benefitting directly from their invested time, they don’t see the point.
6. It downplays the importance of personal well-being.
How many “success” advice articles prioritize physical and mental health? Very few of them, if any. In the grand race to “be successful”, little emphasis is placed on healthy eating, exercise, and a lifestyle that encourages emotional and mental stability.
As a result, a lot of young people neglect their overall well-being in their drive to race towards their goals. Doing this may sabotage all their efforts, as their ill health in later years won’t allow them to enjoy the successes that they damaged themselves to achieve.
7. It places too much emphasis on material possessions.
The worship of celebrities and their material possessions has colored many young people’s minds into believing that owning a particular handbag or wristwatch equates to personal success. In reality, these items are made of the same materials you’ll find in any other store—they’re simply more expensive because of the name stamped onto them.
Furthermore, many luxury goods that young people strive for are made unethically, with forced overseas labor or by ignoring animal welfare protocols. Brand-name labels aren’t worth other beings’ suffering, no matter how cool they might look while they’re still fashionable.
8. It overinflates the importance of passions and feelings.
It’s important to have dreams, but just because someone really wants to achieve something, doesn’t mean that this goal is realistic for them. A 4’11” person isn’t going to be a major league basketball player no matter how passionate they are, nor is a blood-averse person going to excel as a nurse.
Young people today have been raised to value feelings over facts, and believe that just because they feel a certain way, the world should adapt to their wants and preferences. They have little in the way of resilience or coping mechanisms, and thus when things don’t unfold in a way that mirrors their dreams, they fall apart. It’s better to be realistic about one’s capabilities and then tailor goals to suit them, with plans B, C, and D in place in case those don’t pan out.
9. It implies that academic achievement is the only route to success.
There are many different ways to learn, and academic achievements are just one of those. High test scores aren’t indicative of intelligence, nor will they dictate future success. Additionally, real-world experience often counts for much more than standardized certification, and both apprenticeships and self-taught education are just as valid (and often more helpful) than a degree.
A young boat captain may have gotten his certification by training on the gentle, calm Mediterranean Sea, but he won’t know how to navigate the choppy Atlantic. In contrast, someone who grew up on Atlantic fishing boats will know exactly what to do.
10. It undervalues crucial “soft skills.”
“Soft skills” are non-technical skills that include things like problem-solving, communication, conflict resolution, and time management, among others. In their zeal to develop “hard skills” like computer programming or Adobe fluency, many young people forget just how important it is to be well-rounded in other aspects of day-to-day life.
Specialized skills are great and all, but so is the ability to manage a team effectively with both empathy and firm leadership.
11. It overlooks the journey.
People who have a blinkered focus toward an end goal fail to appreciate everything that happens while they’re working towards it, such as the experiences they have, their small-scale successes, and even the joy they have in the process.
All of their focus is on their goal: not anything else before or after it. As a result, they miss out on great things while they’re hyperfocused on achievement, and then assume they’ll have a “happily ever after” without planning for what will unfold beyond.
12. It dismisses unconventional success.
Success takes many different forms, and achievements that fall outside the realm of finances or material wealth are often dismissed as invalid or unimportant. In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
A person who helps their community cultivate a thriving network, with shared gardens, care for children and the elderly, and resources like mini libraries and food pantries may consider themselves to be immensely successful. Similarly, an artist or potter who finds great fulfillment while creating beautiful items may also look back on their life achievements with complete pride.
13. It promotes rigid life milestones that are no longer realistic.
In previous eras, hitting certain life milestones implied life success. These included academic achievement, a career, marriage, home ownership, and a family. If these milestones weren’t hit by specific ages, people would be considered failures.
Well, times have changed drastically and milestones that were achievable and encouraged in previous generations don’t apply now. A house that cost $11,900 in 1960 would cost over a million dollars now, and many people either don’t want or can’t afford to have children. That said, the pressure to conform to milestones can make young people feel inadequate and may encourage them to rush into major life decisions (like marriage or a 40-year mortgage) before they even know who they are.
