Everyone wants to be understood by those they’re close to, and one of the most profound experiences an empath can have is to fall in love with another of their kind.
When partnered with another empath, they’ll experience a scenario in which their other half not only understands them on a fundamental level, but can feel what they’re feeling as well.
Below are some of the pros and cons that occur when two empaths pair up.
When your partner doesn’t just “get” what you’re talking about, but can actually feel what you’re feeling, you’ll find that they understand you on a level you didn’t think was actually possible.
You may have gone through life feeling as though nobody else could really relate to how you experience the world, especially if you process certain things in a unique way, or are hypersensitive to stimuli, etc.
Suddenly there’s another person who can feel what it is you experience, and even if they’re very different from you in many ways and don’t see the world that way themselves, they can see through your eyes, feel through your skin, even momentarily. And that is huge.
That is absolutely one of the most incredible feelings in the world.
Shared Happiness Is Absolute Bliss
You know when you get really, REALLY excited and happy about something and want to share that happiness with the person you love? Well, when you’re both empaths, that’s exactly what happens.
Do you remember that exploding volcano experiment in science class when you were a kid? When you mixed baking soda and vinegar together and there was a giant WHOOSHsplosion? Well, it’s like that, only with excitement and delight and glittery rainbow butterfly unicorns and stuff.
You’ll Have Wonderful Animal Companions Together
One thing that almost all empaths have in common is a deep love of animal companionship.
It can be difficult when an empath is in a relationship with a non-empath, because that person may not understand just how important it is to have non-human companionship in the home.
When two empaths build a life together, it’s pretty much guaranteed that there will be furred, feathery, and/or fishy friends sharing their lives with you.
You’ll get to curl up on the couch together in comfortable silence, cuddling your pups or bunnies, or – if you’re very lucky and have the opportunity to do so – you may even end up running some kind of animal sanctuary or rescue together.
Wouldn’t that be incredible??
Amazing Care And Nurturing
Empaths tend to put other people’s needs before their own, so when two empaths are in a relationship, they’re really well taken care of by each other.
Think about it: if your partner’s happiness and well-being are the topmost priority to you, and YOUR happiness and well-being are the topmost priority to THEM, and you can feel each other’s emotions so you can tell what each other’s needs are… that is pretty freaking awesome.
You might be at work with a miserable cold and your partner will show up with a thermos of soup just because they had a feeling that you needed it.
Or you might surprise your partner with a planned picnic or hike out in the woods because you sensed that they needed some solid time in the outdoors.
You’ll anticipate each other’s needs, sometimes before you even realize for yourself what your needs are, and an immense amount of love and care will flow between you.
The Sex Is Spectacular
Have you ever had an experience in which you and your lover were so connected that energy-wise, you couldn’t tell where one of you ended and the other began? This is a common occurrence in “empath sex.”
Remember that bit about being able to anticipate one another’s needs, and putting each other first? Well, when both parties are focused on the other person’s pleasure, can sense what they need/want, and are utterly present, in the moment, hyper-focused on one another… there’s no connection quite like that.
The intimacy that’s possible when two people can meld energy and feel what one another is feeling is nothing short of miraculous.
Being an empath is wonderful when high-vibrational, “happy” energy is floating around, but when your other half is struggling with difficult emotions, they can affect you just as intensely.
Not because your partner is lashing out at you, but because you can feel what they feel.
It can be difficult to navigate, especially if and when they seem to be okay on the surface, and you’re anxious or angry and have no idea where these feelings are stemming from.
Feeling a storm of emotions without being able to discern where they’re originating can be really disorienting, so sometimes you’ll need a bit of physical distance to regain a sense of tranquility.
…So Is Physical Pain
It’s not unusual for empaths to feel sympathy pain when those close to them are hurting. This is why you’ll hear of things like sympathy labor pains when one partner is giving birth and the other one feels it.
Being able to feel other people’s physical hurts can be really weird, and difficult to deal with, especially if they have chronic pain conditions like arthritis or fibromyalgia. How can you manage the pain from a condition that you don’t have?
They May Know Things About You Before You’re Ready To Tell Them (OR Vice Versa)
A lot of empaths can look at a person and be able to read their life story in their skin, their eyes, their energy.
This can be immensely helpful if someone works as a therapist and seeks to help heal their patients as thoroughly as possible, but it can also be tricky to navigate in a relationship.
We’ve all been through difficult times, but that doesn’t mean we want to splay our guts out to our partners from day one: it takes time to open up to a person – like peeling an onion layer by layer – and we don’t necessarily want them to know certain things about us before we feel that the time is right to share them.
If you’ve gone through some awful crap that you aren’t ready to talk about, and your partner mentions those exact situations because they “know” you’ve dealt with them, your reaction may vary from uncomfortable to absolutely shattered.
The same goes for the opposite scenario: your partner might not want you to know immediately that they’ve dealt with things like addiction, or assault, or any other number of sensitive subjects, but would rather open up to you on their own time… but you know all of that just from spending a bit of time with them.
That can be really difficult to contend with.
You’ll Both Need Alone Time To Recharge
Empaths know that they need solitude in order to recharge their batteries, but this is a lot easier to handle when both parties are mature and aware of their own self-care needs, and can communicate that effectively to the other person.
Even if their loved one tries to explain that they just need some space, that can be interpreted as being dismissive, or that they don’t love them anymore, or that they’re interested in someone else, etc.
This is something that needs to be communicated clearly and effectively, with plenty of reassurance.
You Can’t Hide Your Feelings
If you’re dealing with anxiety, sadness, or any other difficult emotions with regard to your relationship, your partner can (and will) pick up on them.
A lot of us prefer to keep our thoughts and emotions to ourselves while we process them and try to figure out which direction to take, and it can take a bit of time for us to really get our bearings, especially with work and family responsibilities.
When both you and your lover are empaths, and pick up each other’s emotions (and even thoughts, on occasion), you don’t have the luxury of working through this on your own.
It can be even more frustrating when they don’t grant you the space to sort yourself out, insisting that they know something is wrong and demanding that you talk about it because the cloud is affecting them in turn.
There are different levels of empathy, of course, and no two relationships are ever the same. Some empaths will click with one another, some may find each other too intense or not connected enough. That’s absolutely normal.
If you are an empath, and have the opportunity to be involved with another like you, with whom you can nurture a beautiful relationship, it’s absolutely worth trying.
Catherine Winter is a writer, art director, and herbalist-in-training based in Quebec's Outaouais. She has been known to subsist on coffee and soup for days at a time, and when she isn't writing or tending her garden, she can be found wrestling with various knitting projects and befriending local wildlife.