What To Look For In A Guy: 20 Good Qualities You’ll Want In A Man

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We’ve all pictured our dream man before, let’s be honest!

You’ve probably thought about what they look like, what their hair’s like, and what kind of clothes they wear.

What about the qualities of a man, though?

Beyond the usual ‘makes me laugh and is a nice guy,’ that is!

We’ve listed the top 20 qualities to look for in a man to help you find Mr. Right.

1. He makes you laugh.

We know, we know – we said there’s more to your dream man than being funny…

It’s still worth a mention, though!

If you’re on the hunt for a new man, you want someone whose company you really enjoy – and laughter is a big part of that.

Being with someone who makes you laugh is key to a great relationship.

Guys who don’t take themselves too seriously and can cheer you up with a cheesy joke are so much fun to be around, so look for someone who makes you laugh and you’re well on your way to finding your dream man.

2. He’s caring.

Being with someone caring is always a good thing!

This is such a great quality in anyone, but is even more important in the man you’re choosing to spend a lot of time with.

This shows they have a gentler side and want to look after you.

They might come across as a bit tough at first, but kind guys will reveal their softer side to you and you’ll fall in love with them even more. 

3. He’s smart.

We’re not just talking about someone academically talented – being intelligent means much more than that.

It helps you hold more interesting conversations, and it shows that they like learning.

Whether they’re book-smart or street-smart, it’s attractive to know your partner is intelligent and eager to grow.

Related article: 9 Signs You’re Intellectually Compatible With Your Partner 

4. You share mutual interests.

Finding someone who is interested in the same things as you is such a lovely feeling!

You don’t need to like all the same things, but some overlap makes a big difference.

It means you can share more with each other and get to know each other on a deeper level.

It’s always fun to share things you love with someone who’s also passionate about them, and it’ll bring you closer together. 

5. You hold similar values.

Our core values often get overlooked in the early stages of dating.

We’re so focused on the initial attraction or on presenting our ‘best selves’ that we forget to check how our beliefs match up.

Your dream man will ideally hold the same opinions as you in terms of basic human rights, equality, and politics.

Of course, they don’t need to be perfectly in-line, but similar views and values are important to look for in a man. 

6. He’s confident.

There’s a massive difference between being cocky and being confident – you want a man who carries himself well and is confident in himself.

This quality is highly desirable because you’ll be dating them exactly as they are.

They won’t feel the need to pretend to be someone else, so you’ll see their true selves.

It’s also just easier to date someone who’s already confident in themselves – there’s less space for insecurity and codependency. 

7. He’s a good communicator.

Look for a man who communicates in a way that works for you!

We’ve all done it before – you fall for someone who just doesn’t communicate the way you need them to, and it leads to all sorts of drama and anxiety.

If they think it’s okay to disappear and not reply to your texts for a few days, but you feel insecure and would rather have a daily check-in, things will get messy quite quickly!

You can’t expect to meet someone perfect, and all relationships take some compromise, but a similar communication style is definitely a quality to look out for in a man. 

8. He practices self-care.

This links in with confidence, but goes even further.

A man who knows how to look after himself is the kind of man you want to be with!

It’s no fun being with someone who doesn’t look after themselves and doesn’t see their own worth.

You don’t need a guy who does a face mask religiously every evening, but it’s good to find someone who wants to take good care of themselves and sees the benefit of it. 

9. He’s active.

We’re not saying you need to find a guy who works out all the time, but it’s good to meet someone who likes looking after his health and is active.

If you’re not particularly active yourself, they can be a great motivator – you can run together, practice yoga together, or just get moving and take care of yourselves together.

Being active and looking after your health is a great quality, and shows the importance of self-care we mentioned earlier.

10. He’s driven.

We all love the idea of a go-getter, right?

It’s a highly prized trait – being with someone who enjoys their job, or is doing something to find a new job, at least.

Someone who is keen to learn new things and push themselves, do themselves proud through hard work – this is the kind of quality that tells you a lot about someone’s approach to life.

Don’t go for someone who is happy settling!

Go for someone who always wants the best for themselves – this will also show you that they’ve not settled for just any partner, and that they see you as the best, and something that takes hard work to get! 

11. He’s polite.

Imagine you’re on a date and the guy is treating the wait staff badly, or is rude to strangers in the street.

Unattractive, right?

Being polite is such an underrated quality, but it’s one we should all be looking for in a man.

It tells you a lot about their personality and shows that they’re caring, responsible, and respectful of other people.

It also means you don’t need to worry about them meeting your parents, as you know they won’t say or do anything inappropriate! 

12. He’s self-aware.

Being self-aware doesn’t have to mean anything ‘hippyish’ or ‘new age’ – they don’t need to meditate or travel all the time to know who they are.

What it means is that they can take responsibility for their actions, that they know when they’ve messed up and need to apologize, and that they’re in-tune with themselves.

This is a great quality in anyone, but especially in a partner.

It means they’ll know what they want to work on within themselves rather than projecting it on you, and it also means they’ll be compassionate about whatever self-work you choose to do. 

13. He’s supportive.

We all want to be with a partner who supports our goals and helps us achieve them!

It’s so great to know that someone has your back and will always be there to motivate you and give you that nudge when you need it.

Whether it’s about chasing a new career or doing something exciting for yourself, having a man who can cheer you on and encourage you to keep going is so important.

Some men can make you feel like you’re not good enough, or that you’re silly for thinking you can do the things you really want to do. They might feel resentful of your success or make you feel guilty for doing well!

Find a partner who is proud of you and can celebrate your achievements without feeling bad about their own progress, or lack thereof. 

14. He makes an effort.

Finding a man who puts the time and effort into your relationship is amazing!

That doesn’t mean that you need someone who constantly makes you a priority and whose life revolves around you.

It means that they want to make you feel good, that they make the effort to meet the people in your life, that they know how lucky they are to have you and will continually work to show that. 

15. He respects you.

Some guys love having a girlfriend because of the status, or because they want to show you off.

Look for the guy who is proud to say he’s with you!

A guy who respects you is so important, so look for someone who you can comfortably share your views with and who cares that you have your own opinions.

Related article: How To Make A Man Respect You: 11 No Nonsense Tips! 

16. He doesn’t play games.

The early stages of dating can often involve a lot of game-playing, which gets boring and stressful very quickly!

A brilliant quality to look for in a man is being straightforward.

You want someone who makes it clear how they feel about you and who can be honest about what they want.

You shouldn’t be made to guess where you stand with someone or feel insecure in your relationship because of their behavior.

Find someone upfront about their feelings, and you’ll be well on the way to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. 

17. He’s honest.

Finding someone who is honest and can admit to making mistakes is very special.

You want to feel secure with your partner, and that comes from knowing that they hold themselves to high standards of honesty and integrity.

If they’re open and clear about how they feel, their boundaries and expectations, you know that you’ll never have to worry about them cheating or messing you around. 

18. He’s mature.

Again, maturity is so underrated as a quality to look for in a guy!

You want to be with someone who is an adult – someone who’s got it together (not fully, of course – none of us have it 100% together all the time!) and acts appropriately.

We’ve all dated someone whose behavior has left us feeling embarrassed in public, or who we’re worried to introduce to our friends in case they make a stupid joke or do something childish!

Go for someone mature and sensible in the right ways – being a child at heart is great; acting like one is not! 

19. You like his friends.

A man’s friends tell you a lot about him.

You’ll quickly realize if they’ve been their authentic self around you or not.

If they become a totally different person around their friends, there’s a chance they’ve been putting on a bit of an act to impress you.

Find someone whose friendship group reflects what you want in a man.

Maybe they all get drunk and messy, which shows you that your man is probably similar.

Maybe they have great conversations and welcome you into the group, which shows that he’s got great taste in friends and you’ll enjoy hanging out with them more.

Eyes are the windows to our souls; friends are the windows to your man’s true self! 

20. He’s positive (generally).

Nobody wants to be around someone who’s always down in the dumps and complains about everything!

If you’re already part of someone’s life and support system and they’re having a hard time, of course you should stick around.

However, if you’ve just started dating someone and they whine and rant all the time, you might want to move on!

Go for a guy who finds the positives in things – and encourages you to do the same.

This is a great trait in a man and shows that he wants you to feel happy – a promising sign for your relationship too.

Still not sure which of these qualities you should be putting top of your wishlist? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

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About Author

Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing.