If you’re reading this, there’s a high chance that you don’t think you’re attractive…
… so let’s start off by saying that everyone is attractive!
There are so many different ways to be attractive, and so many different things that different people find attractive.
Do I fancy my best friend’s boyfriend? Not at all.
Would she ever date my boyfriend? No chance.
And yet we’re both very attracted to our own partners.
Everyone is into something different and someone (multiple people!) will definitely be into you.
Here are some things you can look out for that show you are attractive, but this list is neither exhaustive nor absolute. If you don’t tick every item on this list, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive!
1. You often get compliments.
This is a pretty basic one, but if people often tell you how great you are, how good you look, and how interesting you are, you’re doing pretty well in life!
People are keen to let you know how attractive you are because they want you to know, and want to make you feel good. Some are probably trying to flirt with you…
2. You rarely get compliments.
Yep – the complete opposite! Sometimes, attractive people just don’t get many compliments.
If you’re hanging out with someone you’re attracted to and they look amazing every second of the day, it would be a bit weird if you told them that every 5 seconds.
Equally, sometimes attractive people don’t get many compliments because everyone assumes they already know they’re beautiful or hot – what’s the point in telling someone something about themselves that’s so obvious?!
3. People flirt with you and ask you out.
Maybe people are regularly asking you on dates and asking for your number, or even just hitting on you on nights out.
This is a pretty clear sign that they’re attracted to you and, therefore, you are attractive!
Remember that everyone has a different type and that everyone is attractive in their own way, so just because you don’t get hit on every time you leave the house, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive.
4. You’ve been on dates.
If you’ve been on any dates (even just one!), someone has clearly been interested in you enough to want to get to know you more.
Even if the date didn’t go amazingly well, they were attracted to you for a reason and chose to spend time with you when they could have been doing something else.
If they chose not to keep seeing you, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, so try not to take it as a rejection. It could just be bad timing, it might not feel quite right, or they might just not be interested in pursuing it further.
5. You’ve dated or been in a relationship.
If you’ve ever been ‘seeing’ someone, regularly going on dates with the same person, or been in a relationship, you’re obviously attractive!
Nobody spends a lot of time with someone unless they choose to, and they’re choosing to hang out with you for a reason.
If you’ve been sleeping with someone, or just been intimate with someone you’re dating, they obviously fancy you and find you attractive.
6. You have great conversations with people.
Let’s remember that being attractive isn’t just about how we look! Sure, it’s a good way to start initially, but there’s so much more to being attractive than just looking the part.
If you find yourself having great conversations, having amazing banter, and maybe even getting a little bit silly and flirty, not only are you great company – you’re also attractive!
7. People enjoy spending time with you and want to hang out.
If people are drawn to you and want to spend time with you regularly, you’re attractive.
There’s something about you that draws people in and makes them want to be around you. It could be your looks, your sense of humor, or your energy – whatever it is, if people want to be around you because of it, you’re definitely attractive!
Again, everyone is attractive in their own way, so even if you can’t see it yourself, the people that seek you out and want to spend time with you see it and believe it.
Try to believe this and realize that people do want to be around you, however hard it might feel at first!
8. People check you out.
Maybe you get checked out a lot in the street, or people double-take when they walk past you in a bar.
Of course, if you’re comfortable with it, this can feel nice and is a good confidence boost that lets you know that people find you attractive.
It might be based purely on how you look, as well as their own specific tastes. Think about how fussy you are when it comes to your dream partner, and don’t be offended if you don’t quite match someone’s ‘perfect idea’ of a person!
9. People are surprised that you’re shy.
Have you ever hung out with your friend and heard them complain that they’re fat, have bad skin, have too-small boobs or not muscular enough legs?
As someone who loves them and thinks that they’re one of the best people on earth, you might be totally surprised to hear them talk badly about themselves.
After all, you think they’re beautiful/amazing/kind/hilarious, how could they, or anybody else, not see that?
Well, the same applies to you. If people are surprised or shocked when you tell them you’re shy or think you’re unattractive, it’s because they see you as brilliant and can’t imagine how you can’t see that for yourself.
Equally, if people are surprised that you’re single, it’s probably because they find you attractive and therefore assume that everyone else does too!
10. People change around you.
We’ve all been there – you find someone attractive and get a bit giggly, or turn shy and start blushing, or maybe start playing with your hair and flirting.
If you notice that people’s behavior changes around you, it’s probably because they find you attractive.
They might really care about your opinion and therefore get a bit nervous and want to impress you, or they might go all out and start joking around, being OTT, and trying to get your attention.
Either way, if people regularly shift behavior when you’re around, it’s because they find you attractive and want you to notice them.
A word on attraction.
So, these are a few things that might indicate how attractive some other people find you.
If you’ve not experienced everything on this list (or anything, for that matter), it doesn’t make you unattractive at all!
Some of us are so self-conscious that we don’t even notice when people do check us out or pay us attention. We get so trapped in our own mindsets of “I’m not attractive, they’re definitely hitting on my friend instead of me,” that we become almost blind to people who genuinely are attracted to us.
We dismiss people’s attention because we’re so used to assuming it’s not genuine. While this is somewhat normal, it’s not the healthiest attitude to have about ourselves!
If you’re struggling with your body image or how you look, it’s worth talking to a professional. Sometimes, we need someone objective to help us work through our thoughts and find the cause for the ‘beliefs’ and narratives we tell ourselves.
Maybe you were rejected by someone years ago and now instantly assume that nobody will ever find you attractive again.
Maybe you assume that the person talking to you is only doing it to get closer to your friend, and therefore push them away from actually hitting on you because they feel like you’re rejecting them by ignoring them!
It might sound strange, but so many of our ingrained behaviors that come from years of feeling unattractive can almost cause us to make ourselves come across as unattractive, standoffish, or rude.
It’s not your fault at all, but it is something to bear in mind! Speaking to someone who specializes in helping people with low self-confidence and self-esteem can work wonders, and will help you realize just how incredible and special you are.
And remember, your worth isn’t determined by how other people see you, and your relationship status shouldn’t affect how you feel about yourself on a large or long-term scale!
Some of the most attractive people in the world have been single at some point in their lives – just Google your celebrity crush and you’ll quickly realize that they’ve been single, they’ve been turned down by people they fancy, and they’ve been dumped at some point!
How we look and how many other people fancy us isn’t the be all and end all, so remember to value yourself for who you are, not just who finds you attractive.
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