Mastering The “Self” Date + 18 Ideas For Your Next Solo Date

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Everyone who has ever dated has gone on at least a few bad dates.

If only someone would take you to see a movie that you’d actually like, treat you to a meal that you would really enjoy, or go with you to a musical that you’ve been meaning to catch for ages…

What are you waiting for? Go do those things by yourself!

Dating doesn’t have to include being in a relationship with anyone other than yourself. After all, this is the most important relationship you’ll have in your life. 

Self-dating gives you an opportunity to do all the fun things that you want to do, regardless of your relationship status. Whether you’re in a relationship with someone or single, you should occasionally take a day to just show yourself self-love and self-care.

You should also do all the things that you’re waiting to do with a potential partner. As the Miley Cyrus hit says, “You can love yourself better!” 

You know what you’d like to do on a date, and no one’s stopping you from doing it all on your own. Learn how to date yourself, and see if some of our date ideas tempt you to give solo dating a try!

12 Reasons Why You Should Take Yourself On A Date

1. You love yourself best.

It’s important to show yourself self-love, and what better way to do that than to take yourself out on a date? By dating yourself, you learn to love yourself more, and the best part is that you know what you enjoy most.

So, you can show yourself love in all the ways that you’d wish to receive love. For instance, if gifts are your love language, you can splurge a little and buy yourself something nice like jewelry, but more on that later.

2. You get to know yourself better.

When you spend more alone time with your thoughts, you get to know yourself better. You think about your wants, needs, goals, and dreams. Most importantly, you think about who you are and what you can improve about yourself and your life.

What makes you happy? How do you cheer yourself up? Where would you like to be five years from now? You can answer all of these questions while you’re on a solo date.

3. You are free to do whatever you want.

Sometimes being single is better. This is because you’re literally free to do whatever you want. You have no one to think about but yourself and your own needs and wants, and that can be great!

For instance, you don’t have to wait to meet someone who enjoys going to the theater. Go see a play by yourself! Maybe you enjoy foreign films, but none of your dates ever do. Have a movie night by yourself! 

4. You don’t have to please or impress anyone.

When you’re solo dating, you don’t need to worry about what anyone else wants. You don’t have to please a date by dressing and acting a certain way or attending only certain events.

You don’t have to impress anyone either! You don’t have to be on your best behavior or look a certain way. As already mentioned, it’s all about being free to do whatever you want.

5. You don’t have to make compromises.

If you were going on a date with someone, you’d probably be forced to make at least some compromises. Maybe it’s where you’d go, what you’d do, or what you’d eat or drink.

In any case, you would need to consider their wants and needs, not just your own. That is why you get to think about no one but yourself and your wants and needs when you go on a solo date!

6. You can take your time.

The person that you’re dating would influence the duration of your date. Maybe they’d rush you or you’d wish the date would end sooner. When you’re solo dating instead, you can take your time and really savor the moment.

You can even take the whole day to yourself to do anything that brings you joy. Schedule a “me day” every week if you can!

7. You get over your fears.

Some people fear being alone. If you feel this way, “A table for one,” may be some of the scariest words you can imagine saying. However, when you break the ice and try it for the first time, you might find that you enjoy dining alone.

The more you persist in solo dating, the more comfortable you will become, whether it’s at home or in public.

8. You become more confident and independent.

When you date yourself, you inevitably become more confident and independent. You learn to enjoy doing things by yourself while taking care of your own needs. You learn to put yourself first and make yourself feel good.

Obviously, this results in a confidence boost, and you become a self-sufficient person who can make themselves happy.

9. You can read a good book or work on your laptop.

No one says that you have to be alone with your thoughts on a solo date if that’s not what you want. You can always bring a book or a laptop as a companion and let it entertain you while you’re out. Read a magazine in a bar or work on your laptop in a coffee shop. 

10. You can pamper yourself.

What would make you happy? Don’t forget, there’s no awkward splitting of the check with anyone, so you get to order whatever you want. Don’t hesitate to splurge a little. Treat yourself to something nice.

If you are having a solo date at home, treat yourself the way you would like a partner to treat you. This means that you get to pamper yourself as much as you’d like when you’re solo dating.

11. You can’t get hurt.

When you’re dating someone, there’s always the risk of getting stood up or having a bad experience. When you’re dating yourself instead, there’s no risk of getting hurt! You just need to get over your fear of being alone and have fun.

12. It can be fun.

In the end, one of the biggest reasons why you should date yourself is simply because it can be a lot of fun. You can do anything that aligns with your likes and interests and you can spend as much time doing it as you’d like. If you want to buy yourself a cake and go for a massage, there’s no one stopping you!

How To Go On A Solo Date: 12 Things To Consider When Dating Yourself

1. Get ready for the date by dressing up the way you like. 

You don’t have to dress up to impress a date. However, make sure to treat this as any other date. Get ready for the date the way you normally would. This means that you are clean, dressed up, and smell nice.

You can even do your hair and get a mani-pedi. Most importantly, dress up the way you’d like. Make sure to look nice, but in the sense that you feel nice in your own skin, not to impress anyone else. 

2. Clean the apartment before leaving. 

If you were dating someone, you would probably clean your apartment on the off chance that you bring them back to your place after the date. Take solo dating seriously and clean the apartment before leaving. This will make it more pleasant to come back to, and you can peacefully enjoy a movie or relax with a good book after your solo date.

3. Tell your friends about it. 

Build up the excitement by letting your friends in on what you’re doing! Tell them about the date just like you would tell them if it was a date with a potential partner.

Let them reassure you that there’s nothing wrong with taking yourself out and treating yourself to whatever you feel like enjoying. Maybe they’ll even have some solo date ideas, but you are going to find a lot of them later on in this article.

4. Plan the date. 

Taking a break from dating doesn’t mean that you have to stop planning awesome dates. Think about what you’d really like to do and plan the date accordingly.

For instance, maybe you’ve been dying to see a good musical, but none of your dates are ever interested. Go see it now!

Maybe you’d prefer a quiet day with a cup of coffee and your laptop, so head to your favorite coffee shop.

You could treat yourself to a massage or have a spa day at home. Plan the date ahead of time, and make sure to put it on your calendar!

5. Regularly schedule the dates.

Putting the date in your calendar is a very important step that you shouldn’t skip! You should take solo dating seriously and treat it the way you normally treat dating. Schedule the date and consider taking a whole day to yourself every once in a while.

On that date, you should only do what you want to do. Keep in mind that solo dating is not about going on one solo date. Make this a regular thing, and keep scheduling your dates.

6. Try new things.

Be open to trying out new things, whether it’s food, drinks, or activities. You should also be open to learning new things, whether it’s by taking a cooking class, dancing lessons, or anything else that you’d like to learn more about.

Stay open-minded and optimistic. Have fun gaining new skills! Stay up to date with events and other entertainment opportunities that your location has to offer as well.

7. Bring a book, a magazine, a journal, or a laptop.

You can always bring a companion to keep you entertained, whether it’s a book, a magazine, a journal, or a laptop. Journaling is always a good idea, especially when you’re solo dating, and it’s a form of self-care.

Write down your thoughts and whatever comes to mind. Think about your goals, dreams, and hopes, and write down everything that you plan for your future.

8. Treat yourself to something nice. 

Would you like to try an expensive new dish at the restaurant that just opened up around the corner? Have you always wanted to take dancing lessons or to go to the opera? Would you like a cake and balloons?

Treat yourself to something nice, whatever it is. As already mentioned, use this opportunity to splurge a little and try to treat yourself the way you would like your ideal partner to treat you.

9. Buy yourself a gift. 

Whether gifts are your love language or not, they probably make you happy, so buy yourself a gift while you’re solo dating! Like Miley Cyrus says, you could buy yourself flowers, but you could also buy yourself something more expensive, like jewelry. 

10. Engage in positive self-talk. 

The way you talk when you’re speaking to yourself is very important for your self-esteem. Don’t engage in negative self-talk, and make sure to think positive thoughts about yourself while you’re solo dating. Remind yourself of how smart, funny, good-looking, and successful you are, and even write down the things that you like about yourself.

11. Think about your goals and dreams.

A solo date is a great opportunity to think about your hopes and dreams for the future. You can write down your goals and everything that you plan to do at some point in your life. Make an effort to do some of those things now! You can try to plan the steps on your solo date.

12. Have a nighttime routine.

Staying single by choice can be a great decision, but it can also lead to lonely nights. Be prepared by planning a routine. For instance, maybe you always drink tea and read a book before bed. Or you enjoy a relaxing skincare routine, watching a romantic movie, or drinking a glass of wine and listening to your favorite playlist before turning in for the night.

Decide what makes a good end to the day in your opinion, and make sure to end your dates by doing that.

18 Solo Date Ideas

1. Go to a spa or have a spa day at home.

Visit the spa and treat yourself to a massage! However, don’t forget that you don’t need to leave home to have a solo date. You could have a spa day at home.

Draw a hot bubble bath, use a face mask, light some scented candles, put cucumbers on your eyes, and relax. This can be the anti-stress routine that you turn to whenever you need it, and it will always make you feel better.

2. Read a book or watch a movie. 

Whether you choose to go out or stay in, you can read a book or watch a movie. Turn it into a dinner and a movie date or stay home and snuggle with a book under a warm blanket with a cup of tea.

You can also bring a novel to your favorite coffee shop or read an eBook on your phone while you’re at a bar or restaurant. 

3. Attend a class or a workshop. 

Is there something that you’d like to learn? Take a cooking class, pottery class, dance lesson, or flower arrangement workshop. Learn to paint, make candles, or knit. Go to a yoga class or a meditation workshop. There are plenty of options to choose from, so find what appeals to you and be open to trying new things.

4. Go to an art gallery, the theater, or a museum. 

Maybe you’ve never been on a date with a cultured person, but that’s not stopping you from being one! Go to an art gallery, visit a museum, or watch a play, the ballet, or the opera at your local theater. Learn about art and history and enjoy a good live performance!

5. Go shopping and refresh your wardrobe. 

A shopping spree sounds like a great date! Solo dating is all about treating yourself to nice things, so use this opportunity to refresh your wardrobe or shop for something else.

Don’t forget that you can do several things from this list on the same day, so you can finish your shopping spree by treating yourself to a nice meal at a fancy restaurant. 

6. Spend time outdoors and be a photographer. 

Make the most of a sunny day by spending some time outside. Turn into a photographer for the day, and take some awesome pics of anything that you notice that seems interesting or pretty. If you’d prefer to be on the other side of the camera, take some great selfies at a variety of locations and during different activities.

7. Cook or bake. 

Maybe you would try to impress a date by preparing a four-course meal or baking some delicious cookies, but why not do these things for yourself? Try a new recipe, and pick something that you know you’re going to like. If you don’t enjoy cooking or baking, order something new from your favorite delivery service.

8. Redecorate your place.

Solo dates don’t have to be about dressing up and going out, so they’ll be great for you even if you are aromantic. Have a solo date at home and let it end in a different-looking place than you started in!

You can use this opportunity to redecorate and change the look of your place. Personalize your space and surround yourself with things that bring you joy. Declutter when it comes to items that you store but no longer need.

9. Go on a solo trip. 

Everyone should travel alone at least once in their life, but most enjoy it so much that they keep doing it whenever they get the chance! Maybe you can’t travel to an exotic new location right now, but you can surely take a short solo trip to a different location.

You could go on a road trip or even hop on a train somewhere.

10. Go for a walk and pretend you’re a tourist. 

Your solo date can be as simple as a long, relaxing walk. Be spontaneous and don’t hesitate to go inside when you notice an interesting place, such as a store or a coffee shop.

In fact, pretend that you’re a tourist and look at your location from a fresh perspective. You’re likely to notice things that you never paid any attention to before, and you might even discover some interesting new places.

11. Go to the farmers’ market and buy yourself flowers.

Shopping at the farmers’ market can be fun! You can buy some vegetables as part of your healthy diet or to add to a fun new recipe you want to try. Most importantly, you can use this opportunity to buy yourself flowers, like the song says!

After all, you know which flowers you like best, and if you already like them, why wait for someone to bring them to you when you can buy them for yourself? Make yourself happy.

12. Paint or do some gardening.

A solo date can involve a bottle of wine, music, and a blank canvas. At the end of the date, you’re left with a nice new painting for your apartment that you’ve made all by yourself, even if you got a bit tipsy from the wine!

Instead, you could do some gardening and maybe even plant some exotic fruits and vegetables.

13. Go wine tasting or visit a brewery. 

Visit a local winery or a brewery and taste different kinds of wines or beers. This can also be a fun solo date idea if you stay at home. Simply purchase different kinds of wines or beers and have a wine tasting or beer tasting at home. If you’re wine tasting, make sure to purchase different kinds of cheeses to taste as well!

14. Create a playlist and go for a drive. 

You don’t have to wait for someone to make you a mix tape; create your perfect playlist on your own! After all, you know what tunes would hype you up for an awesome drive. There’s something relaxing about going for a drive without having a destination, so just follow the road and let it take you to new locations.

15. Go to a coffee shop or a jazz bar.

Your solo date can be as simple as going to a coffee shop with your book or a laptop. If you’ve ever dreamed about writing a novel, this could be your chance to try it! You could also visit a local jazz bar and treat yourself to your favorite drink or a fancy cocktail.

16. Go to a concert or a local event. 

Keep yourself informed about entertainment opportunities in your town, such as concerts, festivals, and other local events. For instance, you could go to a food festival and enjoy tasting different kinds of foods or you could attend a music festival in the area and listen to all your favorite hits live.

17. Have a picnic or go camping. 

When it’s sunny outside, use the opportunity to have a solo picnic. Bring a blanket, a basket with some wine and food, your favorite book, and maybe something to listen to while you relax.

Find a good spot at the park and just enjoy feeling the sunshine on your skin. You could also go on a solo camping trip if you enjoy spending time in nature. Maybe you could also paint outside or go fishing if that’s your thing.

18. Read a cheesy romance novel in the bathtub. 

Surely there are some books that you don’t want to be caught reading in public. Even if you like cheesy romance novels only ironically, you still like them, so don’t deny yourself the chance to read one.

You can draw yourself a bubble bath and read a cheesy romance novel in the bathtub. Pair it with quality wine and you’re having one awesome stay-at-home solo date!


Don’t hesitate to think of a new solo date idea that you haven’t found on our list! Remember, you get to do whatever you want, and you are allowed to be selfish and think only of your own needs and wants!

In fact, that’s what this is all about! Do whatever it is that makes you happy, and be unapologetically yourself. Love yourself and make yourself feel good in your own skin. Don’t forget, you can love yourself better than anyone else can!

About The Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.