If someone is quietly falling out of love, they'll display these 12 behaviors

These things indicate a love that is slowly dying.

A woman with blonde hair and a man with dark hair lie next to each other on a fuzzy gray surface, gazing upwards. The woman is slightly smiling while gently touching the man's head, and both appear relaxed and content.

It’s often easy to tell when a relationship is totally falling apart because there will be obvious signs, but it’s less apparent if someone is slowly falling out of love with their partner. Keep an eye out for these 12 behaviors, as they may indicate that your lover’s interest is cooling.

1. They’ll have less interest in intimacy and physical affection.

A woman with blonde hair lies on her side in bed, looking down and appearing upset. A man with short dark hair sits beside her, gesturing with his hand as if trying to communicate. Both are dressed in casual white clothing, and the bed is white.

One surefire way to determine whether someone is quietly falling out of love is to pay attention to physical intimacy, or rather the lack thereof. Couples tend to grow less passionate after the honeymoon period has worn off, but if intimacy has disappeared entirely, including hugging or hand-holding, that’s a big warning sign.

2. They mention feelings of being “trapped”.

Black and white close-up of a woman with long hair, resting her arms and head on a rusted metal fence. She gazes thoughtfully into the distance, with sunlight casting shadows across her face and the fence.

This rarely happens in the context of discussing their relationship, but they may drop hints about feeling trapped or caged in various aspects of their lives. This may be accompanied by restlessness and frustration, leading to behaviors such as going for long drives or walks “just to get out”.

3. There’s less communication than there used to be.

A woman wearing a yellow sweater sits on a couch with her chin resting on her hand, looking to the side with a thoughtful expression. In the background, a man in a blue sweater sits on another couch, also appearing contemplative. The room has beige furniture and curtains.

When and if this person does communicate with their partner, rather than avoiding them, they’re distant and less responsive than they used to be. They may just want to get an answer instead of having a conversation, or will grunt a lackluster response rather than actually having a discussion about a topic.

4. They’ll create physical distance between themselves and their partner.

A man and a woman sit on a couch with their arms crossed, facing forward. Both are wearing light blue shirts and jeans. The background appears to be a softly lit living room, but their facial expressions are not visible as the image is cropped at their shoulders.

Instead of snuggling together on the couch or cuddling in bed, they’ll be on opposite sides without touching. They may even put barriers between them and their partner, such as cushions, or even pets. If things have really progressed, they may even leave a room if their partner enters it.

5. They’re irritable.

A man wearing a pink t-shirt is angrily arguing with a woman who appears distressed. The woman, wearing a plaid-patterned outfit, has her eyes closed and is holding her forehead with one hand, sitting on a sofa in a tense environment.

Traits that they used to think were endearing in their partner now simply annoy them. They may get annoyed about any demands on them or get disproportionally upset with their partner for small transgressions like putting utensils in the wrong drawer or using a particular word or phrase that they dislike.

6. They avoid discussing any future plans.

A woman and a man sitting on a kitchen counter, both facing forward. The woman has her arms crossed and looks away with a stern expression. The man has his hands on his lap, leaning forward slightly, looking down. The atmosphere appears tense.

If their partner talks about upcoming holiday plans, or potential locations to move to, they’ll either change the subject or find a reason to avoid responding, like suddenly having to take the dog for a walk. Essentially, they don’t want to think about a future with this person at all.

7. They’re less supportive.

A woman with curly hair wearing a striped shirt looks down with a pensive expression. In the blurry background, a man in a blue shirt stands with his head down and hand covering his face, appearing distressed.

Issues their partner may be dealing with will be considered annoying rather than eliciting sympathy. Additionally, if their partner has a new interest or achievement that means a lot to them, they can’t bring themselves to be enthusiastic or supportive about it. They’ve checked out and don’t care like they used to.

8. They stop putting in effort.

A man and a woman stand back-to-back with a wall separating them. Both have their arms crossed and appear upset. The man wears a light blue shirt, and the woman wears a peach-colored blouse. The background shows white blinds partially covering a window.

While they might have previously gone out of their way in the relationship to surprise their partner with gifts, surprise meals, or other gestures, they have no desire to extend that kind of energy now. They may also neglect personal hygiene or fitness and “let themselves go” to subtly express their contempt.

9. They seem depressed.

A man sits in a chair with a distressed expression, resting his head on his hand. In the background, a woman sits on a couch with her hands clasped, looking concerned. Both are casually dressed and the setting appears to be indoors with plants in the background.

They may not engage in activities or pastimes that once brought them joy, and may simply rot in front of the TV or stare at their phone for hours. Similarly, they may complain a lot, lose interest in their favorite foods, and seem despondent about most aspects of their life.

10. They spend more time interacting with other people than their partner.

A man with dark hair and a beard sits on the edge of a bed looking at his smartphone. Behind him, a woman with long dark hair in a red top and jeans sits on the bed, looking concerned with her hands on her head. The room is dimly lit.

They may avoid being home whenever possible, choosing to work late or go out with friends or colleagues instead of spending time with their spouse/partner. When and if they are at home, they may spend most of their time on the phone, or chatting with other people online.

11. They stop arguing.

A man and woman sit closely together by a lake, with the setting sun in the background. The man, wearing a white t-shirt, gently touches the woman's hair. The woman, wearing sunglasses and a cozy sweater, leans into him. A flower is blurred in the foreground.

When a couple argues, it’s because they both feel strongly enough about something that they want to find a middle ground and resolution together. In contrast, if someone is quietly falling out of love, they won’t bother arguing anymore: they’ll resign themselves to whatever is going on and won’t care enough to engage.

12. They want to spend a lot of time alone.

A person in a black jacket and blue jeans walks alone on a foggy, dimly lit bridge. Streetlights cast a warm glow, illuminating the path. The atmosphere is moody and serene, with the fog obscuring the background further down the bridge.

If a person has previously wanted to spend as much time as possible with their partner, and now wants to spend most of their time alone, even though they aren’t stressed or depressed, that’s an alarm bell that things are taking a significant downward turn in the relationship.