A good friend is worth holding onto, but you are bound to have one or two that you’d be better off without in the long run. They are those friends you wouldn’t miss much if they moved away…far away…like to another time zone!
If you’re unsure as to who these friends might be, just see if these 10 descriptions ring any bells in your mind.
1. People who are only your friends because of the length of time you’ve known each other.
We’ve all got them; those old friends who seem to have been in your life for as long as you can remember. Once upon a time you were really close; almost inseparable it seemed. Now, however, you are held together by little more than the memories of days gone by.
You’ve both changed as you’ve grown older and the things that once bound you to one another have slipped by the wayside. In the starkest terms, you are not a great match for each other these days and a friendship probably wouldn’t form if you’d met for the first time today.
2. People who only ever react to your prompts and never proactively contact you or suggest meeting up.
There’s a good chance you’ll have someone like this in your life; the friend who you’d never hear from if you didn’t contact them first. They’re the type of person who never suggests going for dinner or a drink, but waits for you to make the first move.
There’s a reason for this, and it’s to do with the value they place on your friendship. If they really wanted to see you, they would be calling, texting, messaging, or even emailing if you’re a bit old school. Try not to take it personally, but they might just be content without you in their life, so why not let them be?
3. People who have to have things their way and who won’t compromise on arrangements.
Some people are so inflexible that they will flat out refuse to do anything that isn’t what they suggested. It doesn’t matter how many others want to do something or go somewhere, if they don’t want to, you have to rearrange the whole thing. And it has to be at a time that suits them too, naturally.
They just won’t compromise and it can be truly frustrating, to the point where you’re loathed to invite them anymore. After all, a bit of to and fro is essential in any relationship, and if they are not willing to try, why should you always be the one to cave in? You’ll only end up resenting them for it.
4. People who can’t be happy for you and your successes.
When you achieve something in your life, no matter how big or small, your friends should be there to celebrate with you. But you might have someone in your circle who smiles through gritted teeth or who congratulates you with a backhanded compliment.
True friends are happy as long as you are happy, and if it’s clear that this is not the case, then you shouldn’t really consider that person a friend. A small amount of envy and jealousy is perfectly natural, but it should not get in the way of friends cheering on each other’s triumphs.
5. People who never ask how YOU are.
Do you have that friend who only ever seems to talk about themselves and their life? You know the ones, where you can meet up and spend the first two hours talking about them before they even ask how you are.
These people are so self-interested that they forget there is a second party in the conversation, one whose life and issues matter just as much as their own. It isn’t until they’ve exhausted every little detail of their own existence that they remember to extend the most basic courtesy by asking about you.
6. People who think they know it all and aren’t afraid to make their voice heard.
Do you ever find yourself having a discussion with somebody who has an insatiable need to butt in every 5 seconds and correct you on something? Frustrating isn’t it? Unfortunately, these people like to come across as knowledgeable and wise, even if the situation doesn’t require either their knowledge or their wisdom.
To be stopped and fact checked midway through a sentence is pretty annoying, but the way it makes you feel is where the true damage to a friendship is done. So what if you don’t know the ins and outs of world affairs, and who cares if you don’t have the same academic background? Being made to feel stupid or ignorant is never pleasant, so if there’s a friend who does it to you, ask yourself whether you want a friend like that.
7. People who flake on you time after time after time.
Making plans and then having to cancel/change them at the last minute can happen to the very best of us, but there are some people who seem to make a career out of flaking on their friends.
If you’ve gone to the effort of arranging a time and a place to meet, only for them to cancel just as you are about to walk out the door (or worse, when you’re already there), the anger and irritation can be extreme. Of course, if it’s a rarity and they have a good excuse to pull out at the last minute, it is forgivable – they are your friend after all. If, on the other hand, this happens more often than not, you have to ask yourself what else they are doing that’s more important than your friendship.
8. People who willingly participate in drama.
Drama seems to follow some people around wherever they go, like a shadow of raised voices, ill tempers, and bad feelings. Chances are, though, that’s it’s not so much a shadow cast by them, but a darkness that is projected outwards from them.
It’s these people’s willingness to get involved in the drama of life – even if something doesn’t really concern them – that can make them so difficult to be around. Everything is a battle, a fight, a confrontation with another entity, whether that’s a person, an organization, an idea, or even life itself.
With these people around, you have to accept that your affairs will one day get caught up in this drama. Are they such a good friend that you’d let that happen?
9. People you wouldn’t even trust with your houseplant, let alone your deepest, darkest secrets.
Of course, this list couldn’t be complete without touching upon the subject of trust, because if you can’t trust someone, can they really be called a friend?
So, you have to ask yourself whether you’d be happy to divulge personal stories and sensitive information to someone, safe in the knowledge that it wouldn’t go any further. Or, would that person gossip behind your back and share your secrets with others? Trust is such a pivotal thing in a relationship that if it’s the latter, you really don’t want that person as your friend.
Do you agree or disagree with the above? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts.