Any time you turn on the TV or check social media, you’ll be barraged with adverts and messaging encouraging you to “fight” the aging process. We’ve been trained to see aging as an enemy that’s meant to be overcome rather than submitted to or accepted with grace, and that perspective has damaged countless people over the years. For a greater sense of peace, you can learn to accept — and even appreciate — the aging process with the tips mentioned below.
1. Focus on the positives (and there are positives).
There are numerous benefits of aging, and focusing on them instead of the detriments can bring about immense personal peace. For example, you’re likely far more confident about advocating for yourself and standing up for injustice than you were when you were younger, and care less about what others think about you.
Most people also discover that they’re respected far more in middle age than when they were younger. Those grey hairs and smile lines show others that you’ve lived long enough to know what you’re talking about!
If a positive attitude doesn’t come naturally to you, or it’s been beaten out of you by life’s struggles, you may need to actively take steps to adopt a more positive mindset. Positivity requires a conscious effort, it doesn’t just happen.
2. Prioritize self-acceptance above all else.
While it’s important to have the courage to change the things we can, it’s just as important to accept the things we can’t, with grace and dignity. You will enjoy aging much more if you learn to accept your flaws and embrace your imperfections. We cannot fight time, and accepting the aging process with humor and curiosity can go a long way toward easing the process.
Another great aspect of self-acceptance includes making peace with your own limitations, while simultaneously celebrating your strengths. This is something I learned on my own midlife journey when health challenges changed what I was able to do. And according to research, accepting such limitations goes a long way toward lessening stress while increasing personal well-being.
3. Do things that bring you confidence as an individual.
Make a list of the things in your life that you feel confident about, and pour energy into those that are most important to you. But don’t be afraid to try new things that you are passionate about too. Self-confidence increases by learning something new, such as a new skill, hobby, or language.
The American Psychological Association stresses that people can learn new things at any age, so don’t think that you can’t because you’ve hit midlife! You’ll gain immense personal satisfaction and confidence by learning (and mastering) new things in areas that mean the most to you.
4. Define yourself more by who you are, than by how you look.
How often have you lamented the fact that people judge you more for your appearance than your personality, either positively or negatively? As we get older, who we are as individuals matters a lot more than what our temporary vessels look like — especially to those who are most important to us. Outer beauty fades with time, but inner beauty remains.
When you think of the people who have meant the most to you thus far, ask yourself whether you’ve valued them for their appearance, or for their hearts and minds. Others love you for you, not how you look.
5. Prioritize spending time on the things you love the most.
We often put aside the things we love in favor of taking care of responsibilities, assuming we’ll have time for the fun stuff “later”. Although taking care of responsibilities is important, prioritizing the things that make you happy is just as vital.
Organize your time in such a way that you get to spend as much time doing what you love as doing what needs to be done. You don’t exist to be a workhorse or caregiver: you also deserve to pour time and energy into the pursuits you adore.
6. Shift your perspective from “I have to” to “I get to.”
Aging comes with many new responsibilities, and some can be tedious and dispiriting. The key here is to shift perspective from resentment to opportunity. When you do this, “I have to” becomes “I have the opportunity to…”
For example: you may have to take several medications daily to keep various health issues in check, but by doing so, you get to spend more time with the people you love, eat your favorite meals, foster more kittens, read more books, and so on.
7. Change the way you speak to the person in the mirror.
If you’ve always been prone to negative self-talk, especially with regard to your appearance, shift this to a gentler and more loving narrative instead. Being cruel to yourself about things you have no control over won’t do anything except make you feel miserable about yourself.
Dr Kristin Neff, the pioneer of self-compassion theory, suggests that when you find you’re saying something negative about yourself, consider how you’d react if someone said that about your best friend. If you would feel livid about that mistreatment and would instantly reassure your friend with kindness, try to turn that response inward as well. If you find this hard, you may need to explore ways to stop beating yourself up and learn self-kindness instead.
8. Pay less attention to how others expect you to look.
Our culture is obsessed with the cult of youth, and incredible emphasis is placed on remaining young and sexually attractive at all times — especially women, who are treated horribly if they “let themselves go” by having laughter lines or grey hair.
As you age, do not compare yourself to others, especially online, as most of what you’ll see on social media is fake and unachievable. This study focused on how highly filtered social media posts can wreak havoc on people’s self-esteem, as they reflect a perfection that just doesn’t exist in reality. Worse still, is that using filters on your own pictures can have an even more negative effect on how you view yourself (and others).
9. Follow role models who inspire you.
Instead of feeling dejected because the 20-year-old influencer you follow on Instagram is doing things you feel you can’t do anymore, seek out amazing social media accounts of people in your age group who are doing things that you admire.
Whether it’s athleticism, creativity, charity work, or beyond, countless middle-aged people are thriving in pursuits they’re passionate about. Let them inspire you to pursue your own dreams in the full knowledge that you aren’t “too old” to do anything.
10. Do the best you can with what you have.
Focus on what you can control and influence in your own life, rather than getting frustrated with your limitations. If physical impairments prevent you from doing triathlons, focus on yoga and/or Pilates instead.
Additionally, be as good to yourself as you can be. Invest in the highest-quality healthy foods, skincare, and nutritional supplements that you can afford. Treat your body, mind, and spirit as you would a treasured, sacred child, and you’ll likely be astonished at how much better you feel.
11. Find something truly meaningful to dedicate yourself to.
You’re less likely to be depressed or upset about the aging process when your time and energy are focused in a meaningful direction. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, there’s no time like the present to make it a priority and pursue it with great enthusiasm.
Go back to school (even online) to get that degree, make that community garden project happen, etc. Determine which causes or pursuits mean the most to you, and dedicate as much time as you can to them. If you’re not sure what you feel passionate about, explore some of these options to get you thinking.
12. Emphasize the timeless things that you love about yourself.
Do you love the color and shape of your eyes? Frame them with amazing glasses that suit your personality. Have people told you how amazing you are at organizing wonderful parties? Take every opportunity to plan spectacular get-togethers and enjoy them thoroughly.
The fundamental aspects of who you are don’t change just because you’re getting older — in fact, they often get better as you age. Make these aspects a priority in your life, and make a point of having fun with them as often as possible.
