Some people only seem to be happy when they’re in a relationship. As a result, they can’t conceive of how single people could truly be content with their lives, and often try to pressure them into meeting potential new partners, going on dates, and so on.
In reality, many single people are perfectly happy with their solo lives, which is evident if they exhibit many (or most) of the behaviors listed below. If a single person you love ticks most of these boxes, trust that they’re doing just fine and stop trying to meddle in their love life.
1. They put great time and effort into creating their dream living space.
How often do you hear couples complain (sometimes playfully, sometimes with resentment) about how they’ve had to compromise over home decor? This isn’t uncommon at all, whether one is griping about the other’s action figures on display, or that there are far too many candles and photo frames around for their liking.
According to the New York Post, most couples will have around 70 arguments a year about home decor and furnishings. In contrast, a single person can decorate their living space exactly how they like it and will have zero stress to deal with.
2. They have healthy routines.
They aren’t suffering from disrupted sleep patterns because they’re kept awake at night by someone else’s snoring or kicking, nor is their circadian rhythm dictated by someone else’s alarm clock. Instead, they sleep well and wake on their own schedule.
Their weeks are planned out with work, socializing, exercise, healthy shopping, and meal planning, and they likely prepare meals in advance so they have lunch and snacks to go. As such, their body, mind, and spirit are all comfortable and secure with a solid routine instead of being constantly reacting to the next upheaval that strikes them.
3. They spend time on hobbies and personal interests.
When I was single, still living in a city, I would go to the museum every Friday evening after work. I’d sketch a bit, take in some new exhibits, then get sushi takeout to share with my cats, and spend the rest of the evening knitting or reading. Even though my workdays were stressful, my downtime was filled with pursuits that weren’t dictated by someone else’s interests, but were my own.
Psychology Today tells us that people who get to make their own decisions about how they spend their time are significantly happier and more fulfilled than those who feel like they need to go along with their partners’ preferences. Over time, many people feel resentment towards partners who prioritize their own interests and hobbies over those of their partners.
Sadly, I remember having a chat with an older friend about how I spent my weekends, and she lamented that she would have loved to spend her time sewing… but she knew that if she didn’t keep up with her husband’s active, sporty interests, he would have left her. In retrospect, she thinks she would have been happier if he had.
4. They have a rich social life with their friends, family members, and/or community.
Just because someone isn’t partnered up doesn’t mean that they’re lonely. Single people are often much more involved with the community because they have the time and energy to devote to doing so. Similarly, they have both the time and the desire to spend time with friends and extended family, instead of being stretched thinly at home.
If they’re single parents, they’ll often cultivate strong friendships with other singles they know, and co-parent to great effect. This is often easier for them than carrying the burden of parenthood while also trying to manage a partner who doesn’t do their equal share.
5. They rarely, if ever, mention romance or interest in dating.
You can tell the difference between someone who is unhappy being single and someone who isn’t by how much they talk about romance and dating. For example, a single friend who’s watching Love, Actually for the 300th time and continually gossiping about mutual friends’ relationships is likely unhappy in their uncoupled state.
In contrast, someone who’s quite happy not being in a relationship will rarely, if ever, bring up the subject. They’ll discuss thousands of topics other than romance, and if anyone suggests to them that they might like X person they know, they’ll brush off the suggestion and swiftly change the subject.
6. They have pets whom they adore.
A lot of single people prefer the company of animals and are perfectly content with non-human companionship instead of a relationship. As such, they may either have a veritable menagerie at home or just one or two pets whom they completely adore and dote on.
When someone loves animals that much, getting into a relationship is often more trouble than it’s worth. Does that person like dogs? Does the dog like them? Are they allergic to cats? Would they know how to be gentle with a rabbit or bird, or be careless with them? The list goes on.
7. They travel solo and talk about how much they enjoy it.
Making travel plans with a partner is usually more than a little excruciating. Once you’ve finished arguing about where to go on holiday, there will be arguments about what to do when you get there, where to stay, what to eat, how to pack, and so on. Then there will undoubtedly be griping at the airport, grumblings about leg space on the plane, and the entire experience ends up being one of irritation and misery instead of fun and relaxation.
Now compare that to traveling as a single person. They get to go wherever they like, whenever they like, and do whatever they want to do. They don’t have to pack someone else’s bag because they’d forget their own backside if they weren’t reminded, nor do they need to adjust plans to suit someone else’s likes or dislikes. They can simply enjoy travelling in the moment, on their own terms, making amazing memories that they’ll treasure for a lifetime.
8. They’re happy and don’t seem stressed out.
Ultimately, if this person seems happy and relaxed, and isn’t a ball of stress who’s checking their phone every few minutes or bracing against the next argument, you know they’re in a good place — mentally and emotionally. A person who’s lonely and unhappy when single is going to be sad at times, and express that they miss intimacy or someone to cuddle with on the couch at night.
In contrast, a person who’s happy not being in a relationship won’t express anything of the sort. Instead, they’ll tell you about the new recipe they tried out, the series they’ve been watching, or what they’re creating, without anyone else’s judgment or criticism getting in the way.
Final thoughts…
People’s behaviors offer solid glimpses into their state of mind if we truly pay attention to them. A lot of folks have difficulty understanding that their own preferences and priorities aren’t necessarily shared, and feel that those around them would be happiest with lives that resemble their own.
But being single doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely, and many people are far happier leading solo lives instead of being partnered up. For them, the perks that come with being single, such as complete freedom, sovereignty, and autonomy, are too precious to give up in exchange for a relationship they’ll have to negotiate and compromise for, forever.
