Encountering someone who always wants to be right can test even the most patient among us. That unwavering certainty, that refusal to consider alternative viewpoints—it’s enough to make your blood pressure soar and your patience evaporate.
What separates those who end up in shouting matches from those who navigate these tricky waters with grace? Emotional intelligence, put simply. The ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions—yours and others’—makes all the difference when facing the perpetually “correct” colleague, family member, or friend.
While most people get trapped in frustrating cycles of argument, emotionally intelligent individuals take a different approach. They’ve developed strategies that preserve their sanity, maintain relationships, and sometimes even break through that certainty barrier.
1. They see the insecurity behind the certainty.
Behind that wall of unwavering certainty, there’s often a fortress protecting deep vulnerability. Emotionally intelligent people seem to recognize this instinctively.
Someone’s desperate grip on being right rarely comes from actual confidence. The loudest claims of correctness usually hide the deepest fears of inadequacy or past experiences where being wrong meant being shamed. When your colleague aggressively defends his flawed project plan, maybe he’s really protecting himself from an old shame.
Understanding this hidden dynamic changes things. Instead of meeting defensiveness with confrontation, emotionally intelligent people respond with genuine compassion. They create safety instead of threat. This doesn’t mean accepting incorrect information or harmful behavior. It means addressing the human being beneath the behavior with empathy.
By acknowledging someone’s contributions before suggesting alternatives, or using softening phrases like “I wonder if we might also consider…,” they open up space for reconsideration without threatening identity. When people feel secure, they’re much more willing to loosen their grip on certainty.
2. They turn debates into joint explorations.
Forget the mental image of two people on opposite sides of an argument. Emotionally intelligent individuals actively reposition themselves. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder, examining a problem together, creates a totally different dynamic than facing off. They might even move to sit beside someone during disagreements—a subtle but powerful shift that says, “We’re tackling this together.”
Language transforms too. “I’m wondering what we might discover if we looked at it this way…” replaces “That’s wrong, and here’s why.” Questions become genuinely curious instead of attempts to expose flaws. The whole interaction shifts from combat to collaboration.
They also remove personal ownership of ideas. “What if the solution involved…” works better than “My solution is…” When someone thinks they’re better than you, this approach sidesteps direct challenges to their self-image while still exploring alternatives.
Emotionally mature people celebrate when better ideas emerge, no matter where they come from. Their genuine enthusiasm for a superior approach—even one that contradicts their initial position—models the intellectual flexibility they hope to inspire.
3. They focus on what both parties actually want.
Surface-level disagreements often hide deeper alignment on fundamentals. Emotionally intelligent people dive below the choppy waves of conflict to find calmer water.
“It seems we both want the project to succeed, though we have different ideas about how to get there,” they might say, instantly transforming a confrontation into a shared mission. By elevating the conversation to underlying goals, they create breathing room for different approaches to coexist.
The next move is genuine exploration. “Help me understand what success looks like from your perspective” opens doors that “That approach won’t work” slams shut. When someone makes you feel inferior, shifting to goal-focused language evens out the power dynamic.
What’s particularly effective is how they balance firmness and flexibility. They’ll stand firm on shared objectives but stay flexible about methods. “I’m completely committed to meeting our deadline. I’m open to any approach that gets us there reliably.” This keeps conversations productive.
Even in personal relationships, this focus works wonders. “We both want our children to be responsible. Let’s talk about different ways to encourage that” de-escalates parenting disagreements by centering shared values over specific tactics.
4. They admit what they don’t know.
Confidence paired with humility is a powerful combo. Emotionally intelligent people wield it masterfully in tough conversations. “I’m not entirely sure about that” comes naturally to them—a phrase many people struggle to use. “I don’t know” appears regularly in their vocabulary, and they say it without shame or hesitation.
When they do express certainty, it carries more weight because they’re equally comfortable expressing uncertainty. This has a real impact on interactions with always-right individuals. By modeling comfort with not knowing everything, they create psychological safety for others to do the same. The person who fears appearing ignorant sees someone respected acknowledging knowledge gaps without losing status.
Emotionally intelligent people go further by seeking input in their uncertainty zones. “You’ve thought about this issue more than I have—what perspectives am I missing?” invites collaboration instead of competition.
They’re also specific about confidence levels. “I’m about 70% sure this approach will work based on last year’s results, but I could be overlooking something important” gives nuance that all-or-nothing thinkers rarely consider. This calibrated certainty offers a middle path—exactly where productive conversations happen.
5. They find the valid points in opposing views.
Almost no argument is entirely devoid of merit. Emotionally intelligent people have a knack for finding the gold nuggets buried in perspectives they otherwise disagree with. “Your point about customer accessibility is really important” acknowledges value even while preparing to suggest changes. This isn’t manipulative—it’s genuinely recognizing partial truths.
When dealing with an arrogant person, this validation can create just enough psychological safety for real dialogue to start. The emotionally intelligent person actually listens for valid points and doesn’t just mentally prepare counterarguments. This open-minded stance sometimes leads to surprising discoveries that improve their own thinking.
The conversation shifts from binary right/wrong to nuanced exploration. After acknowledging valid points, they might add, “I’m wondering how we might address that accessibility concern while also considering the budget constraints?”
They’re also careful to separate people from ideas, validating the other person even when disagreeing with parts of their argument. “You’ve clearly put significant thought into this” recognizes effort and sincerity without requiring agreement. This keeps dignity intact for everyone, and leaves space for different perspectives.
6. They speak from experience, not absolutes.
Universal proclamations trigger defensiveness. Emotionally intelligent people sidestep this trap by grounding discussions in lived experience.
“In my experience working with these clients…” turns a potential argument into a simple sharing of perspective. It feels different from “This is how client relationships work.” The former invites conversation; the latter provokes opposition. People who respond badly to being corrected often receive personal experiences more readily than direct contradictions.
Someone with emotional maturity is likely a master of the “I” statement during conflict. “I found myself wondering about…” replaces “You’re overlooking…” By owning their observations as personal perspectives, not universal truths, they create space for other viewpoints.
Concrete examples show up a lot in their toolkit, too. Instead of sweeping claims about marketing strategies, they’ll reference specific campaigns and results. This grounds discussions in reality, not just opinion.
Interestingly, this approach often gives them more influence. By presenting ideas as personal observations rather than commandments, they bypass the resistance that absolute statements trigger. Their conversation partners feel informed, not lectured. Consulted, not corrected.
7. They know which hills aren’t worth dying on.
Strategic disengagement isn’t surrender—it’s wisdom. Emotionally intelligent people have a finely tuned sense for when a conversation will actually bear fruit.
Energy conservation guides their decisions. They know some people just aren’t ready to consider alternative viewpoints, no matter how persuasively you present them. Instead of exhausting themselves in futile attempts, they gracefully pivot: “We might see this differently, and that’s okay. How about that project timeline?”
They don’t fake agreement for harmony’s sake. Instead, they acknowledge differences respectfully and redirect to productive territory. “We have different approaches here. Let’s focus on areas where we can make immediate progress.”
They’re particularly skilled at spotting when cognitive biases have taken over, making reasoned discussion impossible. When confirmation bias or backfire effect has someone entrenched, they know rational arguments might actually strengthen resistance.
Timing matters, too. Sometimes “not now” works better than “not ever.” They might think, “This conversation needs to happen when we’re both less stressed and have more information,” then revisit it later. They save their energy for battles that truly matter.
8. They stay calm when buttons get pushed.
Emotional regulation—maybe the real superpower—separates those who escalate conflicts from those who transform them. Emotionally intelligent people develop this skill through practice.
Physical awareness comes first. They notice their quickening pulse, tightening chest, or clenched jaw—early warning signs of emotional flooding. These signals prompt immediate intervention: deeper breathing, a slight posture shift, or a brief mental reset to keep emotion from hijacking reason.
Prepared phrases help them out in tense moments. “Let me think about that for a moment” buys time for recovery when triggered. “I appreciate your passion on this topic” acknowledges emotion without matching its intensity.
They mentally step back from conversations, observing the interaction rather than being swept up in it. This little bit of psychological distance lets them respond thoughtfully.
Curiosity replaces judgment in their inner dialogue. Instead of “What an infuriating thing to say,” they wonder, “What might lead someone to that conclusion?” This shift keeps defenses down and communication open.
Importantly, they see emotional regulation as ongoing practice, not innate talent. Each difficult conversation becomes a chance to get better at it.
9. They listen to understand, not to counter.
It’s a subtle distinction, but it creates entirely different conversations. Emotionally intelligent people genuinely listen for comprehension, not just rebuttal ammo.
Curiosity drives their listening style. “What makes you think that?” comes out naturally, asked with real interest, not as a setup for contradiction. Reflection features in their responses. “If I’m understanding correctly, you believe…” confirms they heard right before moving forward.
This simple habit prevents misunderstandings that fuel unnecessary conflicts. The always-right person, used to being half-heard and dismissed, often opens up more in response to this rare, genuine attention.
They don’t immediately surface contrary evidence. They’re willing to be changed by what they hear. They enter conversations open to the possibility that their own views might shift—and sometimes, they do. This authentic openness makes space for others to gradually develop the same receptivity.
10. They prioritize connection over correction.
Relationships outlast individual disagreements. Emotionally intelligent people keep this in mind during tough interactions. Tone and timing demonstrate this priority. They’ll soften delivery of alternative viewpoints: “I’ve been thinking about another approach that might also work” feels miles away from “You’re approaching this all wrong.”
When tensions rise—which they inevitably will sometimes—they emphasize connection: “This project matters, but our working relationship matters more.” They ask themselves, “Will this disagreement matter a year from now?” before deciding how strongly to respond. Many corrections just aren’t worth the friction. They also excel at separating people from positions—disagreeing with someone’s viewpoint never means dismissing their worth as a person.
Appreciation balances critique in their communications. They notice and acknowledge positive contributions alongside areas of difference. By preserving connection through current disagreements, they maintain influence for future conversations—when the always-right person might finally be ready to consider another perspective.
Putting It Into Practice
Trying to reason with someone who always thinks they’re right isn’t about clever tricks or scoring points. It’s really about having the emotional intelligence to look past their behavior and notice what’s driving it underneath.
These approaches aren’t just techniques – they’re expressions of a fundamentally different mindset. They reflect a shift from seeing disagreements as battles to viewing them as opportunities for mutual growth and understanding. While the person convinced of their rightness might not immediately change, your responses can gradually create space for new possibilities.
