You’ve probably known at least a few chronic underachievers in your life, and you may have noticed that many of them share certain attributes. In addition to having arrested development as far as emotions or maturity levels are concerned, many perpetual underachievers share certain habits, personality traits, and viewpoints. The seven mindsets or thought patterns listed here tend to be the baseline standard for many underachievers. Even though they aren’t true, they cling to them fiercely and end up being held back by their own negative thought patterns.
1. “I’ll fail at anything I attempt, so there’s no point in trying.”
These are the people who had grandiose expectations of themselves when it came to trying something new, and when they failed at it (or it simply didn’t meet their expectations), they gave up on trying it again. They’re so certain that they’re going to fail again that they’d rather not run the risk of disappointing themselves or anyone else.
Furthermore, they develop a defeatist attitude in which they assume that because they did poorly on one thing, they’ll fail at anything they attempt. That runny lasagna that bested them laid the foundation for all future failures forevermore.
Instead of acknowledging that everything has a learning curve and understanding, as the coaches at Better Up tell us, that failing at something is often the best way to learn, they’d rather avoid that curve entirely and stick with what they know they won’t mess up. And they doom themselves to failure anyway as a result. This behavior is common in perfectionists and Type-A personalities: they’re incredibly critical of themselves and see any slight failure as a massive black mark against them.
2. “I was told I would never amount to anything.”
People whose family members criticized them and told them they were worthless when they were young often end up adopting that narrative as a personal truth. As a result, they end up continuing the same type of negative self-talk in adulthood. They accepted these people’s perceptions about them and chose to embody them rather than make any attempt to prove them wrong.
As an example, my partner has a close friend whose parents continually told her how fat and unattractive she was when she was a teenager. This couldn’t have been further from the truth, but the ghosts of those voices that insulted her constantly have become an integral part of how she views herself, and there’s no convincing her otherwise.
Chronic underachievers who were constantly told that they were losers who would never get anywhere in life have that same kind of internal narrative, and it’s very difficult to break them free of it.
3. “What if I make a mistake?”
For some chronic underachievers, their fear of potential shame and ridicule if they make a mistake or fail to meet their goal is enough to keep them from trying. After all, if they don’t try, they can’t fail, and nobody will make them feel terrible for having fallen short of the mark.
This often happens when someone was shamed for making mistakes in the past, even when they had never tried to do the thing before. Since they were ridiculed (or even punished) for their mistake, they feel that they’ll be forever a failure at it, and there’s no point in trying anything new. This kind of negative reinforcement creates something called a “fixed mindset,” a term coined by psychologist Carol Dweck. This idea makes people think that their skills are fixed rather than mutable, and since they aren’t already perfect at The Thing, they’ll never be any good at it at all.
This mindset holds many people back from things that they might truly adore and keeps them stuck in life, because to them, the shame and discomfort of making a blunder is far worse than never trying at all.
4. “What if it hurts, or I can’t handle it?”
Chronic underachievers are often stopped in their tracks by the fear of potential loss or pain. This may not be physical pain, but might involve mental or emotional discomfort, or a burden of responsibility that they don’t want to shoulder.
A perfect example of this would be a person who has the potential for great athleticism but shies away from the discomfort that comes from physical training. Another would be someone who is excellent at their job and would be brilliant in a management role, but who doesn’t want to risk not being able to cope with the added stress or workload that would come with a promotion.
5. “So and so is so much better at it than me, so there’s no point.”
Many people gauge their progress by comparing themselves to others, rather than looking back and seeing how far they’ve come. Furthermore, if someone else is already good at something that they’re interested in, they’ll see the other person as competition and feel like there’s no point in pursuing a similar path.
If everyone adhered to this mindset, nobody would write books, create visual art, make music, cook, bake, or do anything else that others are good at. Instead of acknowledging that there are millions of approaches to any pursuit, they’d simply give up before they got started.
6. “I only need to do the bare minimum to get by, so why exert myself?
There are several reasons why a person might only do the bare minimum to get by. In some cases, they’re lazy and don’t have either the will or the desire to put in more than what’s absolutely necessary. Alternatively, they may feel that if they give 100 percent at whatever it is they’re doing, others will demand more of them: suddenly, they’re depleting themselves completely and are expected to give 120 percent.
This mindset can hold them back from real achievement because others will notice that they have more to give if they applied themselves, but choose not to. Furthermore, they may not have any real desire to put effort into various tasks or pursuits, especially if they’re dealing with depression, anxiety, or simply ennui.
7. “My social circle doesn’t like what I’m doing.”
Chronic underachievers are often very influenced by the passing thoughts and opinions of those around them. If those around them express disdain or even contempt for their personal pursuits, they tend to get swayed by those opinions and allow these people to hold them back.
When this happens, the underachiever rarely takes the time to determine the reasons why their social group isn’t supportive of them, nor their motivation in undermining their pursuit. They could be coming from a place of envy rather than contempt, and are trying to sabotage their so-called “friend’s” goals to validate their own lack of forward momentum in life.
Final thoughts…
In most cases, chronic underachievers either haven’t found the right paths to follow or are in situations that they don’t want to be in. As such, they aren’t putting effort into their pursuits because they simply can’t be bothered: the reward is not enough, or it’s nonexistent.
In cases like this, the best thing they can do is to try and find their “ikigai”; that magic middle road in which they’re doing something of value for the world while simultaneously feeling fulfilled in their own purpose. Then they can leave the chronic underachieving behind and strive for real excellence instead.
