One person’s poison may be another’s medicine, whether in actual healthcare approaches, relationships, or environments. As a result, a workplace that’s fun and nurturing to one person may, in fact, be hell on earth for another. Additionally, some jobs sound great on paper but then fall short of expectations once you’re in them.
If you’ve been experiencing any of the following signs or situations, you can be certain that the place where you’re working is the wrong fit for you, and it’s time to move on to less oppressive, soul-sucking pastures.
1. The workplace layout is anathema to your working style.
Some people thrive in open-concept offices where they can see and hear everyone bustling around them. That’s the kind of space where extroverts and Type-A personalities can vibe off each other, and it is absolutely wonderful for them. But Psychology Today advises it’s a complete nightmare for introverts, highly sensitive people, and neurodivergent folk who get overwhelmed by sensory overload and need to be able to focus properly on their work.
If you find you’re unhappy at work because you’re either over- or under-stimulated, stressed, lonely, or anywhere in between, it might simply be that you’re in the wrong working environment for your individual personality type.
2. The company culture isn’t a good fit for you.
Some people thrive in environments where everyone talks about their personal lives very openly and honestly, while others prefer to keep their private lives exactly that: private. Similarly, many people prefer to be left alone to focus on their work, while others enjoy stopping by each other’s desks for social chitchat. If you find yourself in a workplace where you don’t feel that you fit the culture, it can make the environment feel quite toxic, very quickly.
Things can get even more uncomfortable if your colleagues (and possibly employers) keep insisting that you come out with them for drinks after work, get involved with the company softball game or bowling league, etc., when you’d prefer to leave work (and everyone you see there) at work and spend the rest of your time living your own life. Quite simply, the culture at this workplace might be amazing for everyone else there, but you find it intrusive and stifling.
3. Your commute leaves little free time for you to enjoy.
When the National Labor Union created the eight-hour workday in 1866, the idea was for people to work for eight hours, sleep for eight, and then have eight hours doing things for themselves. This is all well and good if you live within walking distance of your workplace, but if you have to commute for an hour or more each way (at least, if not more), that will seriously cut into your personal time.
I once worked at a place that was an hour and a half away from my place, so that knocked three hours off my personal time five days a week. While it allowed me to catch up on reading while I was on the subway, it didn’t grant me much time to cook, do chores, or spend time with my family. This arrangement might have been ideal for someone else’s work-life balance, but it wore away at me until I had to find another job.
4. You feel that you’re never allowed to “turn off.”
Does your boss contact you after work hours — or when you’re supposed to be relaxing, like on weekends or holidays — and expect you to be available to them? Some people are completely okay with this, and actually feel happy when they’re needed to this extent.
They’re the types who bring their laptops to the beach so they can get some extra work sorted out, and are overjoyed when they’ve earned a pizza lunch or a small bonus for a job well done. If you guard your downtime fiercely, however, then being perpetually on call like this is going to feel completely toxic to you.
5. Your colleagues love your boss, but you can’t stand them.
When you first got the job, your colleagues might have sung praises about your boss, so much so that you were really looking forward to building a rapport and working alongside them. Over time, however, you discovered that while your manager’s approach may be great for your colleagues, it just doesn’t work for you. In fact, it might make you uneasy.
Maybe you like a lot of guidance and feedback at work, but your boss prefers you to be more independent, and then tells you what you did wrong later. Alternatively, you might get anxious if they’re the type to call you into their office to discuss something, rather than briefing you ahead of time to let you know what the talk will be about. This might cause you a great deal of discomfort at work, even though your colleagues wouldn’t be able to relate to this at all.
6. Your behavior at work doesn’t align with who you really are.
While you’re at work, take note of what your overall demeanor and behavior are like versus how you are when you aren’t at the office. Do you slouch when you’re there? How about your eating habits: do you find yourself snacking throughout the day, or lose your appetite while you’re there?
If you dread going to work every day, and feel next to no joy or fulfillment in what you’re doing, that’s going to manifest in how you behave while you’re there — especially subconsciously. Whereas your colleagues may seem relaxed, jovial, and enthusiastic, you may be withdrawn and prone to self-soothing behaviors. In comparison, you might be happy and exuberant outside of work hours, which speaks volumes about how your job is making you feel.
7. You don’t feel heard, seen, or that your contributions really matter.
You might feel that the work you’re doing doesn’t really matter, or is taken for granted by those around you. Maybe you’ve tried to voice ideas in meetings only to be ignored, or for others to run with those ideas and take credit for them. Alternatively, you might have discussed issues you were having with your superiors, only to be brushed off and dismissed because they didn’t think your problem was big enough to take seriously.
If you feel like you don’t matter, as though you’re simply a body warming a seat and not a valued, contributing member of the team, that can be immensely disheartening. This feels even worse if your peers are consistently shown how much they’re appreciated and respected, but you’re not.
8. There are no opportunities for your career to grow there.
Some people are perfectly happy doing the same job for 40 years straight and then retiring, but that doesn’t appeal to everyone. If you’re looking for personal growth and advancement, but you’re going to be stuck in a Groundhog Day-like loop for the foreseeable future, that can be terribly upsetting and depressing to you.
Once again, this is a matter of personal preference rather than generalized toxicity. Your closest coworker might be overjoyed at the fact that she’s in a stress-free, low-key workplace where she does data entry for eight hours every day, but the prospect of doing this might destroy your will to live.
In a case like this, what’s heavenly to her is indeed toxic to you, and you’ll need to determine whether you can keep going like that for much longer, or find something that suits you and your needs better.
Final thoughts…
As mentioned, just because this workplace doesn’t feel toxic to your colleagues, that doesn’t mean it isn’t damaging to you. Furthermore, there’s no shame in realizing that this isn’t the right environment for you.
If you aren’t comfortable there, in the place where you spend most of your waking hours every week, the rest of your life will be stressful and miserable by extension. You should feel free to leave an uncomfortable relationship for any reason, without shame or obligation, and the same goes for an uncomfortable work environment.
