Ennui can strike at any point, but there are usually contributing factors that trigger it. It isn’t necessarily depression per se, but the feeling that you’ve lost all enthusiasm for life and have little incentive to do anything anymore.
Stress, burnout, frustration with aging, and overwhelm from a seemingly never-ending cavalcade of bad news in the world are just a few things that can cause anhedonia. That is, a diminished interest or pleasure in various activities. If you or someone else is dealing with this difficulty, the habits listed below may be some telltale signs that a struggle is going on.
1. A “Groundhog Day” type of existence.
Many people who have lost enthusiasm for life end up repeating the same pattern of existence every day. Of course, some people find comfort in reliable routines. But for others, it’s a case of not mustering up the enthusiasm to break free from their daily rut.
These individuals plod through their days, enduring existence rather than engaging with it. Many of them sleep as much as possible, then get up and eat the same breakfast each day. The work or entertainment they engage in is done more for distraction than real interest, and then they’ll spend whatever downtime they have disassociating further before going back to bed. And then they’ll do it all over again the next day.
2. Curmudgeon-like behavior.
A person who has lost their love and enthusiasm for life will often become quite irritable and crotchety. They’ll become a joy stealer when others express their own happiness or accomplishments, and will find something mean or insulting to say about pretty much everything.
This can be sensory-seeking behavior in a way: since they’re no longer able to feel joy or enthusiasm in life anymore, the only emotions they seem capable of feeling are negative. Like someone who’s lost their sense of taste except for powerful, burning flavors like wasabi or Scotch bonnet peppers, a person who’s lost enthusiasm for life may only be able to get a dopamine hit through negative stimuli, like when loved ones get mad at them for behaving poorly.
3. Constantly cancelling plans and other commitments.
Most of us have experienced situations in which we’ve agreed to plans when we were feeling happy or excited about said future event, only to feel dread or complete disinterest when that event date rolled around.
People who have lost all of their enthusiasm for life will often agree to plans or commitments — either out of obligation or because part of them sincerely wants to do so — but then end up cancelling because they can’t bring themselves to show up and participate.
This is as frustrating for them as it is for those in their social group: they do sincerely care about their loved ones, and part of them would still like to enjoy time with them, but they have no energy to spare for socializing, nor any desire to do so. At all.
4. Wearing the same clothes several days in a row.
People who have lost their enthusiasm for life may still be attending to basic hygiene, but they may have lost most of their desire to maintain a well-groomed appearance. As a result, even though they’re still showering and such, they’ll put on the same clothes they wore the day before. And the day before that.
Aesthetics don’t matter to them at all anymore, but it’s worth noting that this isn’t because of newfound confidence and authenticity. It’s because they no longer get joy out of choosing clothes that make them feel good when they once did.
Instead, they are now prioritizing convenience, regardless of what it may look like. Once they find an outfit that works for them, they’ll wear it until it threatens to walk away from them, at which point they’ll wash and dry all the items and put them right back on again.
5. Abandoning or avoiding anything remotely challenging.
Anything that costs these individuals more than the barest amount of effort is likely too pricey for them to engage in. As a result, not only will they stick to things like extremely simple meal prep, but they’ll abandon it if any aspect of it causes them annoyance. A minor setback, such as the inability to open a packet without struggle, will cause them to ditch that endeavor entirely and order a pizza instead.
When people reach this state, every ounce of strength they have is put towards their basic needs. They often don’t have the wherewithal to navigate anything challenging, and the idea of fighting the good fight in order to succeed — even if it’s winning at opening a can of soup — is beyond their scope of ability right now.
6. Emotionless expression due to disassociation.
When people have lost all enthusiasm for life, their facial and verbal expressions tend to flatten out. This isn’t the same as with neurodivergent individuals who may not express themselves the same way neurotypical people do: instead, it’s a noticeable change from someone who used to be ebullient and expressive and is now flat and emotionless.
There’s little, if any, intonation when they speak, and they’ll seem to look through people rather than at them when interacting. They can sometimes drum up the semblance of emotion if they really need to, but their authentic expression is completely neutral. A person who exhibits this habit has likely disassociated so much that they have difficulty even identifying whether they feel anything at all, let alone exhibiting any of those feelings.
7. Comfort eating.
When a person’s enthusiasm for life has waned, they may turn to the few things that still bring them some measure of comfort and indulge in them as needed to soothe their soul. One of the most common pursuits in this regard is comfort eating: turning to their favorite meals or snacks whenever they’re feeling low.
Even if they aren’t overeating per se, they may end up with nutritional deficiencies from only consuming a limited number of items on a daily basis. And as soothing as it may be to live on ramen, grilled cheese, and potato chips, the resulting anemia isn’t fun to deal with.
8. Living in the past instead of the present.
When a person has lost their enthusiasm for life, one habit they tend to fall into is ruminating about past events. They may wax poetic about times in their life that really mattered to them, tell the same stories their friends and family members have heard dozens of times already, or hyperfocus on grudges, lost loves, or how much they miss their childhood dog.
They have little interest in living in the present moment because doing so doesn’t bring them any measure of joy. Similarly, they don’t think about the future because they don’t think anything positive will happen there. Therefore, all their energy is focused backwards, to a time when life actually held meaning for them.
9. Superficial compliance.
In whatever situation they find themselves, they’ll likely just go through the motions that are expected of them without any real depth or sincerity. Sure, they’ll nod and smile politely when interacting with peers, or offer a small laugh when their boss cracks a joke, but those smiles will rarely reach their eyes.
Everything they do is perfunctory and emotionless, from conversations with the kids over dinner to intimacy with their spouse. Their responses are utterly performative, with expressions and actions only happening as long as someone is watching them.
The second they’re no longer being observed, their facial expressions flatten back to neutral. There’s no authenticity in their actions: they’re just doing what they have to do until they’re allowed to get back to their show, their book, or their bed.
Final thoughts…
Most people will experience periods of anhedonia during their lives, especially after periods of grief or great upheaval. This is completely normal and is usually part of a healthy healing process. It’s when all enthusiasm for life disappears, and you have trouble getting any of it back, that it becomes an issue.
If you feel that nothing brings you joy or pleasure anymore, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for assistance. They may be able to help you climb out of that dark hole or provide alternative recommendations about where to go from here.
