The word “hermit” means something very different today than it did in the past. Even just a couple of centuries ago, it evoked the mental image of an unwashed, wild-haired person who lived in a cave and would howl insults at anyone who dared disturb their peace.
Nowadays, those who live the “hermit life” still get upset when others disturb their peace, but they’re less likely to throw dead rats at them. Instead, they revel in solitude as their sanctuary, and tend to have the following traits in common.
1. They’re not just comfortable with silence — they thrive in it.
If you’ve ever tried to concentrate on something and gotten interrupted by people constantly, you know how frustrating that can be. People need silence to be able to contemplate things deeply, and that can’t happen when others are perpetually chattering at them.
Furthermore, most of that chatter is hollow and meaningless, and happens because for many, silence is uncomfortable and needs to be filled by any means necessary. But how can you improve upon silence? Those who choose the hermit life often revel in silence and solitude because they enjoy their own company and their own thoughts above any type of socializing.
2. They know themselves well, or want to deepen that understanding.
The greatest freedom is knowing who you really are and what makes you tick. When you understand yourself thoroughly, you can recognize the intentions behind your actions and countless other facets that require deep self-awareness. Of course, it’s very difficult to do intense soul-searching when everything in the world is screaming at you for your attention.
When you remove the external stimuli, everything becomes easier and clearer — rather like sweeping clutter off a desk or table so you can work unimpeded. By doing this and deep-diving into personal work (including peering at shadows that would rather be left unseen), we can glean a much deeper and more well-rounded understanding of ourselves.
3. They are intensely cerebral.
Films and TV series often show academic types as having hermit-like qualities. We see studious, cerebral characters from Gandalf to Rupert Giles or Rory Gilmore retreating into solitude so they can immerse themselves in their studies, hopefully accompanied by tasty beverages and snacks. Some are academics, some are sorcerers, but the general stereotype about intensely cerebral people being hermits is really quite accurate.
These hermit types are passionate about the topics that interest them, and they may cross-reference them with other, related subjects. It’s why they often seem far more knowledgeable than expected: they live and breathe knowledge and love to think about facts as much as they enjoy theoretical musings.
4. They need silence and space to pursue their objective.
Most of the hermit types you’ll meet (should they venture outside or socialize online) will have at least one special interest or cause that means a great deal to them. Some dedicate their entire lives to a specific subject, gaining high academic status with it and then writing about it, while others might work tirelessly for a charitable cause or create a Magnum Opus.
Of course, they need uninterrupted alone time to hone and elevate their skills. When they’re alone, they don’t have anyone complaining about how many hours they’ve spent playing the same song on the piano, or working on a project so intensely that they’re neglecting everyone else around them.
5. They don’t get lonely.
Those who revel in hermitude rarely, if ever, experience loneliness. They’re perfectly content in their own company, with all the time and space they need to dedicate to their own interests. If they need a bit of human interaction, they might venture into a cafe or bookstore, or simply chat with people online, but those interactions will be brief.
If they crave more constant companionship, they’ll usually get a dog, cat, or other animal that will respect their space and isn’t overly demanding. This is why hermit types are often seen with quiet, rather self-sufficient animals with whom they can share space without having to tend to them 24/7.
6. They have highly acute senses.
Many people who choose the hermit life do so because the world is overwhelming to them. The majority of them are sensitive to external stimuli such as noise, bright lights, chaotic environments, and strong scents, and do best in a space that they can control to their comfort. They tend to get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily, so many prefer to work remotely or keep themselves to themselves rather than risk sensory burnout.
Many (but not all) who fit into this category are autistic, whereas others are introverts or simply sensitive people who don’t like to have all their senses assaulted from all directions, all the time. There’s a lot to be said for the peace and quiet comfort that comes with solitude, regardless of your neurotype.
7. They are intensely self-sufficient.
Some folks need others to help them out with the various things that need doing in their lives, while others are as self-sufficient as possible. Hermit types fall into the latter category, and are usually capable with a wider skill range than most others ever will be.
They’re just as capable of fixing their plumbing as they are cooking a meal or tending a wound. These people have figured out that they can do things themselves instead of relying on others to do so, and can thereby avoid small talk, irritation, and all the other annoyances that come with unwanted social interactions.
8. They have a low tolerance for bullshit.
Some people have a high tolerance threshold when it comes to others’ nonsense. They’re patient and understanding, and seek to be understanding and supportive rather than short-tempered.
For example, if they’re in the checkout line and someone ahead of them is discussing the weather and what was on TV last night with the cashier, they’ll feel sympathy that this person is probably lonely, needs connection, and they don’t mind waiting a bit.
Hermit types do not fall into this category. They appreciate efficiency and the ability to get things done so they can get back to the peace and quiet of their hidey-holes. Additionally, just because they’re hermit-like, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re timid or quiet: they’re just as likely to bellow at someone to get on with it so they can do what they need to do and leave.
9. They’ve been through too much.
There are countless tales worldwide of those who have retreated into solitude after enduring terrible hardships. Some have retreated to monasteries to live out their lives in silence, while others have moved to remote locations like the mountains or islands to live alone, in peace, with their thoughts and their pets.
Many of the people who choose the hermit life are doing so because they’ve been through a bit too much and need the serenity that solitude brings. They understand the benefits that being a loner can bring. When they’re alone, in peaceful surroundings, they aren’t stressed, anxious, or triggered by intrusions — whether from humans or from unwanted sound. All they need to deal with are their immediate needs and their own thoughts.
Final thoughts…
Those who are uncomfortable with solitude often worry that there’s something wrong when they come across a person who prefers the hermit life. Relatives, medical providers, and well-meaning community members might try to take it upon themselves to “save” these hermits from loneliness when all they want is to be left alone.
While this might be nearly impossible for company-loving extroverts to understand, the need for extreme solitude needs to be respected. There’s nothing “wrong” with those who choose the hermit life: they just want to keep themselves to themselves, and that’s completely fine.
