You’ve probably noticed that successful people come in all different flavors. Some are wildly financially successful, while others have gained worldwide recognition or fame, and some have ticked everything off their “bucket list” before the age of 30.
Although they have different backgrounds and interests, they all seem to have certain things in common, including steadfast adherence to certain tenets and pursuits. The following things are the most common ones that the most successful people you’ll meet absolutely refuse to change about themselves or their lives in general.
1. How they measure success on their own terms.
If films, TV series, and commercials are to be believed, then success is measured by owning a big house, a fancy car, and looking 25 when you’re 60. In reality, every individual measures achievement on their own terms, and those who feel happiest and most accomplished are those who refuse to be budged from their own views on success and fulfillment.
For example, one person might feel successful because they’ve gotten a degree and started their own business, while another one might feel immense accomplishment because they’ve bought some rural property and had a few children with someone they love. Meanwhile, someone else might consider themselves successful because they’re still alive after a terrible experience or life-threatening illness and treat every day as a gift.
2. The little quirks and habits that help them achieve their goals.
Every successful person has a set of habits or techniques that they use to help them achieve everything they set out to do. This often differs greatly between people, but successful folks know what works for them, and they won’t be swayed from their methods. They respect that others’ techniques will vary, but they’ll stick to the tried-and-true ones they like best.
Case in point: my partner begins every day with a cup of strong coffee, and alternates between a web-based calendar and a printed day timer in order to keep all of her projects and deadlines neatly corralled, complete with color-coded tabs and emailed reminders.
In contrast, I write down whatever I want to achieve that day on slips of paper that I tear from journals, and tuck them into my binder when I’m done, and I’ll usually make a fresh cup of tea after completing each item on my to-do list.
Neither of us could ever use each other’s approaches without going quite mad, but they work for our individual needs.
3. Their friends and/or partners.
One of the best ways to tell who’s a true friend and who isn’t is to look at those who have stuck by you regardless of how well you’ve been doing (or not), as opposed to those who blink into existence as soon as you strike gold, but disappear when times are tough.
Smart, successful people recognize and appreciate their true friends’ worth, not only for all the obvious reasons (warmth, genuine loyalty, trust, etc.) but for how their friends or partners will often save them from their worst enemy: themselves.
A sincere, down-to-earth friend or partner will let them know if there’s a blind spot in their new venture, or if they’re becoming arrogant with their successive victories. This feedback is an invaluable form of internal armour that no one can provide for themselves, but is instead granted by real love and friendship.
4. Their independence and self-reliance.
No person is an island, and we’ll all need to depend on those close to us now and then, but the most successful people you’ll meet are those who forge ahead with things on their own terms, rather than being overly influenced or aided by others. Basically, if people are available to help them out with a venture, cool — but if not, they’ll bloody well do it themselves.
Successful people work with other people if that pairing will help them achieve their goals in a timely, effective manner, but this teamwork is the contingency plan rather than the first one they have in mind. They’ll do as much as they can on their own and will only lean on others if they absolutely have to.
5. Their insatiable curiosity to learn new things.
Whether they’re expanding their knowledge base or cultivating new skills, they’re constantly adding to their repertoire. This might annoy others who are content to stick with what they know and are comfortable with, but successful people know that there’s always more to learn — even if they’re already so-called masters in their field.
A person might be a 5th Dan in Okinawan karate and an undefeated champion in that martial art, but that won’t stop them from learning Hopak or Sayokan to broaden their technique base.
6. Their utter lack of care about what others think about them.
The majority of successful people in the world have been surrounded by naysayers. These people told them constantly that their ideas were stupid, that they were being ridiculous, and that they’d never succeed. Some even had family members or friends try to have them committed for insanity because their goals seemed so unrealistic to them.
One of the most surefire ways to fail at one’s dreams is to pay too much attention to what other people have to say. While it’s important to hear people out if they sincerely feel that your goals may be dangerous or harmful in one way or another, following your intuition and doing what you know is right for you is a major contributing factor for success, as people like Nikola Tesla, Hedy Lamarr, the Wright Brothers, and countless others have discovered firsthand.
7. Never letting setbacks turn into defeats.
Most successful people adhere to the mindset that success consists of getting back up just one more time than they fall down (or are thrown down, depending on the situation). For example, Bethany Hamilton went back to pro surfing as soon as she healed after having her left arm bitten off by a shark, and many of our favorite books were repeatedly rejected by various publishers before finally being accepted.
Just because things didn’t work out as planned doesn’t mean that the pursuit is a bust. When a successful person comes across an obstacle, they’ll find a way to either get around it, dig under it, climb over it, or plough through it, one way or another. Whatever it takes to get them to the other side.
8. A healthy degree of self-loathing.
This one may be a bit contentious, considering most people’s fixation on unconditional self-love and self-acceptance, but the most successful people I’ve ever known have had a healthy degree of self-loathing that acted as an impetus to keep them pushing forward. This is the equivalent of a condemning Jiminy Cricket on their shoulder that tells them they’re a piece of dirt if they don’t go to the gym that day, or if they want to procrastinate about an upcoming deadline.
A comedian named Jordan Jensen did a sketch about this recently, in which she said that unless you hate yourself a little bit, you won’t get anything done. If I don’t hit my exercise goals for the day, I feel like absolute garbage. Since I don’t want to feel like rubbish, I do everything within my power to meet my targets, even when I’m exhausted.
Some people might wholeheartedly disagree with this concept, but oddly enough, the most successful people you’ll come across will likely nod knowingly if you mention it.
Final thoughts…
If you’re hoping to become a success in your own life, the most important thing you need to do first is to define what success looks like to you. Is it a million dollars in the bank? Or your own hut on a balmy beach somewhere and a food truck business to keep you stocked with sarongs and good books?
Once you’ve defined your version of success, adhere to the traits here that resonate with you, and throw yourself into achieving your goals.
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”
― Norman Vincent Peale
