Not all men are the most demonstrative when it comes to love. Some have difficulty expressing their emotions verbally and choose to show their devotion through actions instead. Others aren’t terribly in touch with their emotions at all and don’t quite know how to show how much they care, so what they consider to be loving behavior may be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
If the man in your life exhibits the following behaviors, rest assured that he loves you more than he is expressing.
1. He keeps the little items you give him, even if he doesn’t talk about them.
I’ve read many stories online about how, after a man dies, his wife of 40+ years goes through his things and finds that he has kept countless little, seemingly unimportant things she had given him over the decades.
He’ll keep a silly note or photo booth picture from you in his wallet, or use the hideous, lumpy, first attempt at a handmade pottery mug you gave him years ago to hold his pens at work. This guy will wear the sweater you made him that has one arm longer than the other, and keep the cool rock you found for him on the first camping trip you took together. Although he isn’t expressing his sentimentality verbally, he feels it and loves you deeply.
2. He remembers important details you’ve shared with him.
There’s a scene in the TV show “The Office” where Jim brings Pam her favorite yogurt flavor. It’s such a small, seemingly insignificant gesture, but it speaks volumes. He paid attention to the little things she mentioned in passing and cared enough to remember them.
A man who loves you truly and deeply will make mental (or physical) notes about your birthday and dates that are special to you, which foods you like best, things you dislike or are allergic to, and little details that you share with him in moments of vulnerability. He remembers these things — and acts upon them accordingly — because they’re important to you. Therefore, by extension, they’re important to him as well.
3. He prioritizes you
In a situation like this, love is shown through action rather than empty platitudes. He may not do typical “romantic” gestures like buying you flowers or writing poetry for you, but he shows up and makes you a priority, no matter what.
This is the guy who will leave in the middle of an important sports game to go pick you up because someone creepy is making you feel uncomfortable. He’ll turn down invitations if he’s already made a commitment to spend time with you, and if there’s only enough money to spoil one of you with gifts over the holidays, he’ll make a point of getting you something special with it. This is in stark opposition to a guy who’ll take money for grocery shopping down to the pub so he can drink it away with his mates.
4. He takes care of things so you don’t have to.
When a man loves someone deeply, he’ll often take it upon himself to take care of things that will either drain that person’s energy or that they may not want to do, to spare them the burden of doing so.
For example, you may discover that he’s filled up the bird feeders or taken out the recycling, so there are fewer tasks weighing down your “to-do” list. Similarly, he might take your car in for servicing because he knows the mechanics are less likely to mess with him than with you. This guy will step in and take care of the things that may cause you stress or grief, simply to alleviate the weight from your shoulders.
5. He checks in on you.
Even if you’re feeling fine, not unwell, he’ll ask if you’d like a cup of tea or a bite to eat, or he’ll check in on you to see how you’re doing. In fact, you may not even notice that he’s checking in on you because you’re so engrossed in doing your own thing.
You’re so important to him that he’ll stop what he’s doing and go out of his way to ensure that you’re safe, warm, fed, and content. In the same way that a devoted botanist may check regularly on the orchid they treasure, he’s protective of you without being possessive: he places your health, happiness, and well-being as a top priority.
6. He does things that are important to you, even if they aren’t important to him.
He may have zero interest in your craft hobbies or dumb-ass murder mystery shows, but he’ll ask you about them anyway. Even though they aren’t his thing, he’ll want to engage with you about them. He might even make a point of learning about the supplies you use or following your Pinterest boards and online wish lists so you can surprise you with them.
The same goes for events that bring you joy: he’ll let you put guyliner and a puffy shirt on him so you can matchy-match at the Renaissance faire (there will be turkey legs and cider there, after all…) and he’ll take you to the ballet or a concert by a musician you love (and he can barely tolerate) because those things are important to you. That’s love, right there.
7. He puts up with your silly nonsense.
My partner likes to put potatoes in my boots as a fun little prank on occasion, which is annoyingly endearing, even when I’m in a hurry to get outside. She also knows how much I hate it when people get in my way when I’m working, which is why she’ll grin mischievously and “accidentally” be right in my path if I’m focused on getting somewhere.
If it were anyone else doing this, I’d likely defenestrate them with great enthusiasm. Since it’s her, however, I’ll just hug-tackle her or spray her with the sink hose in return. When a man loves you truly and deeply, you know that you can mess around and annoy him playfully and he won’t be cruel or lash out at you, even when he’s upset. He loves you too much for that. He may retaliate playfully when you least suspect it, though!
8. He welcomes you to his inner world.
There are certain things that men only do when they deeply love their partner, which they won’t do if they aren’t invested emotionally. One of these things is introducing her to the people who are closest to him, such as his friends and family members. That only happens once he has vetted her and determined that he wants her by his side for the long run.
Another thing that happens is that he shares the things that are important to him, such as the little things that bring him joy, the hobbies he may not tell most others about, his spiritual leanings, the things that upset or anger him, and so on.
Most men keep their shields up and don’t show vulnerability unless they have to, so if one chooses to open up and share these things, that’s a huge indication that he loves someone deeply and truly.
9. If you go through big emotional or physical changes, he stands by you.
According to researchers, men are more likely to leave their partner if she gets sick than the other way around. That’s a horrible finding, and it shows us just how many men partner up so they have a housemaid and cook at home rather than an equal partner.
A man who truly loves you will stick by you no matter what. If your body fluctuates due to age or illness, or if you deal with major mental or physical changes, he’s got your back. He isn’t going to abandon ship when the weather gets turbulent: quite the opposite — he’ll batten down the hatches and ride out the storm by your side.
Final thoughts…
People express love and devotion in different ways, and some people may interpret reserved behavior or a lack of verbal expression as a lack of love. Additionally, some partners may interpret honest discussions about upsetting topics as hurtful instead of acknowledging that these topics are being raised from a place of love to resolve and strengthen the relationship.
Always look at the intention behind the action, preferably without assumption or personal bias. By doing so, you’ll be able to clearly see the deep love and care that’s radiating just below the surface.
