It’s incredibly invalidating to express being hurt, distressed, or disrespected, only to be told that you’re “too sensitive”, “overdramatic”, or “making a big deal out of nothing.”
While it’s bad enough to experience this dismissal once or twice, having it happen repeatedly over the course of several years goes beyond demoralizing and becomes downright damaging.
Yet it happens all the time.
People can only tolerate this kind of invalidation for so long before they finally snap and start to react in the following ways:
8 different ways people react when they’ve finally had enough of being called “too sensitive.”
1. They cut contact with those who dismiss them.
If a person keeps being dismissed as “too sensitive” by those around them, they’ll often eventually stop engaging with those individuals.
Once they’ve reached the point that they’ve finally had enough, they’ll cut their losses and move on.
They won’t share any personal details anymore, won’t share their feelings, and basically stay silent or offer basic “yes” and “no” answers instead of having any real connections with those close to them.
Essentially, they’ve learned the lesson that they’ll keep getting burned, so they have no interest in continuing to put their hands in the fire.
If they’re forced to keep interacting with those who torment them, such as extended family members, they’ll go gray rock and won’t give them any ammunition to work with.
Instead, they focus their social energy on creating community with those of like mind and similar disposition to their own.
2. A switch gets flipped, and they retaliate.
A very gentle soul who has been pushed too far by those who keep calling them “oversensitive” will eventually reach their breaking point, at which point they may retaliate in ways others never saw coming.
They may be tormented by people who make them the butt of cruel jokes or unending criticism, only to be told that they’re overreacting, making a big deal out of nothing, and so on. And they take it, and take it, until they don’t.
What the people tormenting them fail to remember is that the person they’re harassing often has a lot of dirt on them, and they won’t like it when that dirt is aired.
My narcissistic nightmare of a mother loved to put me down in front of her friends and extended family members, and would simply laugh and call me “overdramatic” when I didn’t laugh along with them.
Until I aired some very personal details about her — much to everyone’s delight — and called her oversensitive and dramatic when she got upset.
Those who torment others for their own amusement tend to be paper tigers who don’t deal well when the tables are turned.
3. They relinquish control to their tormentors.
Unfortunately, when a person is constantly invalidated and dismissed as “too sensitive,” they may start to believe that narrative rather than trusting themselves.
They doubt their own thoughts and emotions and find themselves wondering if they really are making a big deal out of nothing.
From there, they may seek constant reassurance and validation from those around them about other aspects of their lives.
After all, if they can’t trust their own intuition about what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling, how can they trust themselves to consent to things, decide upon various life paths, and so on?
To them, it may seem safer to outsource all decision-making to those who have been putting them down. If they’re not the ones making the decisions, then there’s nothing to mock, right?
4. They gather evidence to defend themselves.
Many people who are accused of being “too sensitive” by those around them are often gaslit by those individuals; they’re made to feel like they’re overreacting to “nothing”.
The people doing the gaslighting will try to twist their words or imply that the “overly sensitive” soul misinterpreted what was said.
As a result, the one being dismissed learns to gather evidence so that they can defend themselves with facts rather than feelings.
It’s difficult for someone to invalidate their experience by implying that they didn’t say X thing when there are texts and emails proving otherwise.
Similarly, gathering evidence about topics that they feel strongly about can help to bolster their arguments if and when others are trying to wear them down.
5. They withdraw from any social interactions.
While some people cut ties with those who taunt them and seek a tribe with those who nurture and value them instead, others self-isolate.
This behavior is unsurprising, really: if an animal gets hurt every time it interacts with others, it’ll learn to avoid others to protect itself, and humans are no different.
If they’ve been mocked and called “too sensitive” by those they associate with on a regular basis, then not associating with them is the only method they’ve found to prevent getting hurt.
Unfortunately, this means that they may not give anyone a chance anymore. Or alternatively, they might stick to online interactions only, so that they can block without hesitation at the first sign of invalidation.
6. They may repress their emotions, which then results in the very outburst they’re trying to avoid.
Those who are fed up with being called sensitive may become very cautious about the words they use when interacting with others, walking on eggshells so as not to say or do anything that could be construed as overly dramatic.
Even when upset or made fun of, they’ll pretend not to be affected and keep smiling and carrying on.
Until they can’t, that is.
All those repressed emotions get pent up and pressurized, and when they’ve been insulted or criticized one too many times, it’ll explode.
Maybe they’ll cry, or yell, or have a panic attack and need to withdraw to regroup.
Unfortunately, this ends up creating a vicious cycle, as those who called them “too sensitive” to begin with will use these outbursts as proof that they were right, which dismisses and invalidates the individual all over again.
7. They experience total shutdown.
Rather than simply repressing their emotions until they explode, someone who has been pushed to their limit may stop allowing themselves to feel anything at all.
Emotional dissociation, numbness, anhedonia. They do this as a self-defense mechanism to protect themselves from potential damage.
Quite simply, they won’t be able to be hurt by anyone if they put their shields up to maximum and don’t let anything through.
The problem with this is that they won’t be able to feel much in the way of joy, fulfillment, or even love the way they’d like to, either.
Walls that are put up to keep danger out can prevent good things from entering too.
8. They may become fearless in calling out the other person’s poor behavior.
Those who don’t necessarily want to retaliate but want to stop others from hurting them might learn the art of creatively calling out their actions. For example, asking them things like: “It seems that being less sensitive is important to you. Why is that?”
Doing this puts the other person on the defensive with the expectation that they defend themselves.
Alternatively, the one being dismissed may laugh at the other person and respond with: “I’d rather be ‘too sensitive’ than whatever the hell happened to you.”
Once again, they’ve had enough and decided to turn the attention back towards their accuser. They’ve learned that doing so often silences them. For a little while at least.
Final thoughts…
Many things can happen when pressure is applied to an individual, as every person reacts differently to being in a crucible.
The key here is that change is inevitable: after being subjected to mistreatment, especially for a prolonged period of time, no one can remain the individual that they were before.
If you’re experiencing something similar, don’t give up hope. There are good people out there.
It’s so crucial to keep your heart open for that tribe, because whether you receive loving support from other directions can determine if you transform into something greater than you were before, or if you become a smaller, more brittle, hollower version of yourself.
