So, you’re in a bit of a slump. You’re not even sure you can remember what having your mojo feels like. You have zero motivation, and you’re struggling to see why you should even bother getting out of bed in the mornings.
Whether it’s a result of stress, overwhelm, or mild depression, it can be hard to see your way back to the real you when you’re in a mindset like this.
In a recent post, we looked at a few things you can do to drag yourself out of a rut. But just as important as the things you should be doing when you feel like you’ve lost your mojo are the behaviors you should be avoiding at all costs.
Just as there are plenty of steps you can take to improve matters, there are just as many traps that you can easily slip and slide into that will only make things worse.
Here are a few things you should NOT do if you want to get your mojo back and find your groove again.
1. Don’t Do Nothing/Ignore It
When you’re in a rut, all you feel like doing is precisely nothing. It’s very tempting to just bury your head in the sand and take no steps to make things better.
Whilst you can allow yourself to wallow for a day or two, don’t make a habit of it. You need to fight that impulse, as the way you’re feeling now is just your subconscious telling you that change of some kind needs to be made.
Banish your inner ostrich and face the situation head on.
2. Don’t Get Angry At Yourself
There’s no situation in life in which getting angry at yourself or beating yourself up about something is at all helpful or constructive. We can be our own worst critics, but self-criticism isn’t going to make you feel any better.
Whilst it’s always good to be aware of your faults, focusing on them isn’t productive or healthy.
If you waste your energy berating yourself for the way you’re feeling, then you won’t have the resources left to make any changes.
Talk to those close to you that have been in similar situations or whose advice you trust.
Even if they don’t offer any life-changing suggestions (and realistically, they probably won’t!), just the process of verbalizing your feelings and explaining your situation will help you get things clearer inside your own head.
Establishing in your mind what the problem is and identifying why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling will mean you then can start taking steps forward.
4. Don’t Force It
No matter how many ways you’ve tried to shake this feeling, you can’t make yourself feel better. This isn’t something that can’t be forced, it will happen in its own time, as long as you’re taking steps to help it along.
If you convince yourself that you’ve solved the problem and are absolutely fine and force yourself to act that way, then it’ll probably hit you again down the line, with a vengeance.
5. Don’t Fake It
While faking it ’til you make it works in some situations, there’s no point pretending here.
If you pretend, either to yourself or to those around you, that everything’s hunky-dory, you won’t give yourself the time you need to recover. What’s more, other people won’t realize how you’re feeling and give you the support you really need at this tough time.
Whilst the postman doesn’t necessarily need an honest answer when he asks you how you are, when the people who care about you ask, there’s no need to put on an act. Honesty really is the best policy.
6. Don’t Assume You Know Why
We all love to self-diagnose. Whenever something’s not quite right, we decide what’s to blame and then normally stick stubbornly to the theory we’ve come up with, no matter how uneducated and off-target it might be.
Always remember that you might not have hit the nail on the head. There could even be a medical issue making you feel the way you are. Stay open-minded and explore all the possibilities.
Slow and steady wins the race, and all that. No matter what steps you take to get out of your rut, you shouldn’t expect them to work like magic or improve things overnight.
The worst thing you can do is come up with some kind of deadline by which you’ve decided you’ll be feeling better. This isn’t something that can be timetabled and a deadline will only create pressure, which will probably make you feel worse.
If you aren’t back to feeling like your true self by the time your imaginary deadline rolls around, that will only be another excuse for you to beat yourself up about the situation.
If your gut is telling you that what you need to shake this feeling is radical change, then you should pay attention to it.
I’m not telling you that the only answer is completely reinventing your life, but I am saying that if, deep down, you feel like the relationship, job, or place you’re in just isn’t right for you and is weighing on your mind, then listen.
The vast majority of your happiness does come from within, and the grass isn’t always greener, but that doesn’t mean your environment and the people you’re surrounded by don’t play a big part in your wellbeing.
Don’t take these decisions lightly, but be open to the idea of making significant changes should you feel that they’re necessary.
9. Don’t Stay In
You’re entitled to wallow a little, and you shouldn’t drag yourself out of the house immediately when you’re feeling low, but don’t spend too long hiding yourself away.
Get out of the house, meet up with people that are easy to spend time with and make you laugh, do some exercise, go see a movie…
Short bursts of social interaction with people you love can be incredibly beneficial, as can stretching your legs, getting your heart pumping, and keeping your brain busy so you have no chance to dwell.
10. Don’t Give Up The Things You Love
If you have hobbies that make you happy, don’t let them slide. Much as it might seem difficult to get yourself together and get out of the house to go to that evening class or play that sport, you won’t regret it.
You will, on the other hand, probably regret neglecting the things and people that make you happy, and doing them will help you to get yourself out of your funk.
11. Don’t Underestimate The Importance Of Good Mental Health
Even today, with awareness about mental health being so much better than it ever has been, people tend to be far too blasé about it, and feel like there’s a stigma attached to it.
You should take it just as seriously as you should your physical health. If you’re struggling with depression and are in need of a helping hand, don’t hesitate to speak to a professional.
Katie splits her time between writing and translation. She writes about travel and self-care and never stays in one place for too long. She’s currently based in beautiful Cornwall, England, after long stints in Brazil and Mexico. She spends her free time trail running, exploring and devouring vegan food.