“Ugh. I can’t believe they did that. This is not what I signed up for.”
That’s what goes through your mind when you feel disappointed in your partner.
You’ve heard it before, am I right?
Truth is, we’ve all been disappointed in our relationships before. That’s because no relationship is perfect.
But what should you do when you feel this way? Is your relationship doomed to fail or can you make things right?
Let’s start by making a distinction between two types of disappointment…
Specific Vs. General Disappointment
Before we can explore the ways in which to deal with your relationship frustrations, it’s worth saying that disappointment comes in two flavors.
The first relates to a very specific grievance you have with your partner. It’s the kind of disappointment that flares up every so often when, much to your displeasure, they behave in a way that goes against your wishes.
Perhaps they leave a pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, rock up late to your friend’s birthday party because they were too busy gaming, or spend your date night glued to their phone.
Then there’s the more general kind of disappointment. The feeling that things aren’t quite what you’d like them to be…
…when that voice in your head starts saying things such as, “they’re not who I thought they were” or, “is this really how it’s supposed to be?”
Keep this distinction in mind when reading the rest of this article. Depending on what situation you find yourself in, the ways to deal with it differ slightly.
What Are You Disappointed In?
Leading on from the two types of disappointment, it’s time to get to the heart of what is disappointing you.
Are you upset because you’ve told your partner on multiple occasions that something they do annoys you, but they keep on doing it?
Relationships are hard and they require you to make compromises. You have to weigh the negatives against the positives.
Doing so allows your current mindset to shift to one that is more forgiving and understanding.
If your disappointment is more general, this exercise can also help you to see that things may not be as bad as you think. Or it might confirm that they are, in which case you’ll want to keep reading to the end.