You want to make someone feel loved.
You want to make them feel special, appreciated, and wanted.
You want to show them how important they are to you.
How can you go about it? Well, you just have to…
1. Tell them.
No, seriously, when was the last time you told this person how much you love and care for them?
It’s such a nice thing to hear from someone and can instantly make a person feel like they matter.
It doesn’t have to be really mushy if you find that sort of thing uncomfortable.
It can be as simple as, “I’m really grateful to have you in my life,” or, “You’re such a good friend/mom/boyfriend.”
2. Hug them.
Hugs will never ever go out of fashion.
A good hug can tell someone more about how you feel than the great poems of the heart or love songs.
When you hug someone – properly hug them for an extended period of time – you share a moment of special connection.
It says, “You matter deeply to me and I value you and everything you are as a person.”
3. Compliment them.
This is a tricky one because you don’t want to go overboard, but giving your loved ones genuine compliments is a great way to make them feel special.
It needn’t be every day, but it’s always lovely when someone notices you’ve made an effort or had a haircut.
Try to give them that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when someone really pays attention and appreciates something you’ve done.
Make sure you keep it real, however – if someone compliments you too much, it starts to feel like they don’t really mean it.
Make sure you’re being honest and not just saying something for the sake of it (people will see through that straight away!). You don’t want them to think you’re being fake.
4. Show it through your gestures.
Sometimes, a gesture can go a really long way in terms of showing someone how important they are to you.
Thoughtful gifts are a fantastic way to make someone feel special. Don’t worry, you don’t need to break the bank for this one!
By listening to what your loved ones say and making a note of important things (such as their favorite sweets or the fact that they recently lost their phone charger), you can surprise them with something they either really need or that will just cheer them up.
Have you ever had a takeaway or supermarket delivery turn up at your house unexpectedly? If you haven’t, we can assure you that it is one of the best feelings!
Surprise one of your loved ones by ordering food to be delivered to their home. If they’ve just posted on their Facebook that they’re miserable and home alone, get on your phone and order a pizza to their house.
(Subtly check that they’re still home by messaging to ask what they’re up to – you definitely don’t want any pizza going to waste…)
Not all gifts have to cost money, of course. A great way to make someone feel appreciated is by taking the time to make something by hand.
Think about what you’re really good at and treat your loved one to a handmade card, home-baked cookies, or a scarf you knitted for them.
Knowing that you put your own heart and soul into a gift for them will let that special someone know just how much you love and value them.
Mix tapes might have gone slightly out of fashion, but creating a chillout playlist for someone who’s going through a difficult time shows compassion as well as support.
Take the time to go the extra mile and make someone feel really special.
5. Put in the hours.
Take the time to really appreciate those around you.
This might be physically putting the time in to meet up with them regularly.
It might be setting a reminder on your phone every week or so to call your parents.
It might also mean being really patient when a loved one is going through a hard time – even if this means sitting with them and letting them say the same thing over and over.
Make sure the people who matter know that you value having them in your life, and that you’re not afraid to prioritize them over other things.
It can be really upsetting when someone you care about is ‘too busy’ to see you, and it can make you feel underappreciated and rejected.
Remember those feelings and do your best to avoid making those you care about feel that way! If something happens and you do end up making someone feel like that, do your best to make amends and reassure them that you really do care.
6. Lend an ear and listen.
Sometimes just listening is enough. If someone you love is going through a hard time, try to just be there for them – it will make a huge difference to how they’re feeling.
Call them and tell them that you’re free to listen if they want to cry or rant. Visit them regularly if they live nearby and let them pour out all their worries to you.
If they’re not going through a hard time, listen anyway! Actively taking a role in a loved one’s life is a great way to show you care, and listening to whatever is happening with them is an important part of that.
7. Show an interest.
This works alongside listening to what’s going on, but takes it to a whole other level. By reacting to what you’re being told, you’re showing that you’re interested and that you care.
Someone actively taking an interest in what you’re up to makes you feel really special, and having someone to share your news with always makes you feel loved and cared for.
Ask about their latest hobby, or a club they’ve joined, or about their job. Ask about the ‘bad’ stuff too – they’ll need someone to talk to about it, and it’s a way of showing that you’re there for them.
Some people hold back from talking about the ‘negative’ things because they’re worried it’ll push others away. By showing that you’re interested in every aspect of their life, they’ll know how important they are to you.
8. Follow up.
Spending time with people you care about is a great base, but it’s easy to go the extra step and follow it up.
The small things make a huge difference, so start taking note of what’s coming up in your loved ones’ lives.
Set a reminder in your calendar for the day before your friend’s first day at their new job – knowing that you care enough to remember and then text them to wish them good luck will make them feel valued.
Sending a message after meeting up with a loved one is another really lovely way to show how much you care. Is there a nicer feeling than walking home after a coffee with a friend and getting a message that says “It was great to see you, let’s do it again soon!”?
9. Believe in them.
It can be hard to believe in yourself. Many people don’t. So to have someone show or express their belief in you can do wonders for a person’s confidence.
By making it clear that you believe in someone, you give them reason to believe in themselves, and this can make them feel really special.
So, be their cheerleader when they take on something which might cause them anxiety. Are they about to start a new job? Get them a good luck card and write them a message telling them how they’re going to smash it.
Or buy them a little something for their desk or as part of their work wear (think a nice tie or hair clip) to remind them that you’re thinking of them.
10. Support their goals and dreams.
When someone we love has dreams or aspirations, we can do our bit to help them reach those heights. We can be their number one supporter and encourage them to push beyond their comfort zones to achieve the things they want to in life.
What might this look like? Perhaps you give your friend or partner a little nudge when they keep saying how they want to quit their job to start their own business.
They may be looking for reassurance that it’s a good decision, and whilst you shouldn’t lie to them and say that it’s free from risk, you can remind them that most things will involve some element of risk, but that they’d regret not taking that risk.
It may even involve giving them more practical help such as supporting them financially (in the case of a partner or close family member) whilst they get up and running.
Or if they want to pursue their sporting or travel goals, you can help them plan and execute those goals with bundles of positivity and enthusiasm.
11. Celebrate their successes.
It’s great to achieve something you wanted to achieve. It’s even better to have someone there to celebrate with when you finally do that thing.
You can be that person. You can be happy for their happiness and rejoice with them in their success.
Moments of success usually come after a period of prolonged effort, and you can make them feel good about themselves by recognizing how hard they have worked to get where they are now.
And the fact that you are choosing to celebrate with them will let them know that their success matters to you a great deal.
12. Open up to them.
People don’t open up to just anyone. They open up to those that they trust and are close to. So by letting someone in, by showing them your authentic and vulnerable side, you communicate your trust and closeness to that person.
You are saying to them that you and they have a deep and valuable connection that goes beyond mere acquaintances.
Share your feelings, your fears, your dreams, your memories, and even your secrets (if you choose to).
When you have these types of heartfelt conversations with people, it makes them feel worthy of your trust in them. They will know that you have chosen to risk being hurt and that you aren’t willing to do that with many people.
13. Ask them for their help/opinions.
People like to feel useful. It’s natural to want to help other people because it provides meaning and it fosters connection.
So if you want to make someone feel important, lean on them when you need help or advice.
Ask them their opinions on something. Ask them to show you how to do something that you don’t know how to do. Ask them to take on some responsibilities when you have too much on your plate.
Quite often, when you ask someone to step up to the plate and be awesome, they will duly oblige. And both you and they will feel great when some good comes from your cooperation.
14. Thank them.
Whenever someone helps you in even the smallest way, be purposeful with your thanks. Don’t just throw them a simple “thanks,” when you could make it clear that what they have done for you was of real help.
For little things, extend your thanks by expressing how much your appreciate it.
For bigger things, send them a card, buy them a gift, and be there to repay the favor when they need your help.
It’s amazing how showing your sincere gratitude for the efforts of others can make them feel amazing about themselves.
15. Go all out once in a while.
When there is someone truly special in your life – whether that’s a partner, friend, family member, or someone you barely know who has done something amazing for you (like donate an organ) – do something big to communicate just how important they are to you.
Whisk them away for the weekend, take them out for a nice dinner (or cook them a candlelit dinner at home), or surprise them with a treat or experience that you know they’d just love.
And don’t reserve these things for big occasions. It doesn’t have to be a birthday or anniversary to remind someone just how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
16. Let them take care of you when you can’t look after yourself.
There’s something to be said for trusting someone to look after you when you are so unwell that you can’t even do the basics for yourself.
And as much as it might be challenging for the other person, they will undoubtedly feel like an important part of your life if it is they you call upon when faced with genuine struggles.
In fact, if they want to be an important person in your life, they may actually resent you if you turn to someone else instead of them. They want to be the one to help. They want to be the one you trust most. They want that confirmation that the bond you have really is special.
So when you’re sick or physically incapacitated, think carefully about who you get to help you. Choose those closest to you.
17. Trust them with the truth.
People aren’t always honest, especially with those they are not that close to. Sometimes it’s out of politeness and sometimes it’s because they don’t see the need to cause conflict with someone whose presence in their life they don’t value that much.
So if you choose to be completely honest with someone and trust them with the truth (even if that truth is an opinion), it shows that person that you value them enough and care about them enough to risk tension or conflict.
Because sometimes the truth is not all that pleasant to hear, especially from someone we care about. It can be hurtful even when it’s said with good intentions.
And whilst it may cause temporary ill-feeling, most people will likely feel a stronger bond with those they can be upfront with.
There’s no hidden feelings or agendas or talking behind backs because everything can be aired in the open with mutual trust and respect.
And that respect goes both ways. When you are willing to be honest with them, they will be honest with you.
You’ll be able to have different views on something and discuss those differences in a civil way.
You’ll know that you have each other’s backs and that you’ll call out self-sabotaging behavior when you see it.
That’s a level of trust and honesty that you don’t reach with everyone in your life; just the chosen few.
18. Get to know their love language.
People like different things, and that’s a good thing. But it can also cause some confusion in all types of relationships.
What makes you feel special and loved might not have the same effect on someone else. And something that makes them feel important might not create any kind of emotion in you.
This relates to the concept of love languages which was coined by Dr. Gary Chapman. He suggests that people feel love and express love in five primary ways: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
And to make someone feel loved, you need to be able to express yourself and your feelings in the language they best understand.
So, for example, if a person likes to hear nice words about themselves and your relationship, they might feel taken for granted if all you do is buy them gifts.
If you can learn what someone’s primary love language(s) are, you’ll stand a better chance of being able to express to them how you feel and how much they matter to you.
19. Be consistent.
Anyone can make an effort for a few days or a couple of weeks. Truly loving someone means being consistent, so try to keep your friendship or relationship as stable as possible.
Being a good friend or partner isn’t just about listening, although that is important – it’s about being reliable.
One of the best ways to show someone you love them is by being a strong presence in their life. Knowing that they can turn to you at literally any point will make them feel cherished and appreciated.
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