22 No Bullsh*t Tips For Dating A Busy Man

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When a man doesn’t give you as much time as you need from them, it can leave you feeling ignored and even worthless.

But what if they are genuinely a very busy person?

Normally, when someone doesn’t call you back, it could be interpreted as a sign that they’re not that into you. However, not getting a call back and postponed dates are common when you’re dating a busy man.

Does this mean that you’re in a toxic relationship? Not at all!

Many people dedicate a great deal of time to their passions, whether that is their work, their hobbies, or other commitments.

A busy man isn’t ignoring you because he doesn’t care about you, he genuinely has less time than most to give to his significant other.

So, what should you do? Can you keep up with his busy lifestyle, or do you simply need someone who can give you more time and attention?

You’re about to answer this question, but right now, you need to know something important about dating a busy man:    

If he makes you feel special, if he makes himself available when you really, truly need him, and if he shows you care and respect, you should definitely consider staying with him.

On the other hand, if you feel like your needs aren’t being met, it might be better to consider ending the relationship.

The point is that your busy man is likely to stay busy, whether the two of you remain together or not. So, consider whether you can be happy with this lifestyle for the long haul or if it simply doesn’t work for you. Either is fine, and you have every right to choose what’s best for you.

If you’re going to try to make it work with this man, you’re going to need some pointers. Keep reading to learn how to make the best out of the time that you get with him so you can keep your relationship happy and healthy.

We’re going to assume that this man is busy primarily because of his work and career. This might not be the case, of course—he could also have lots of social commitments or other things he does regularly. But the advice is similar regardless of why he is busy.

Here are some tips for dating a busy man:

1. Be honest about your needs.

First things first, are your needs being met? Are you a busy person too, or do you require more time and attention than a busy man could possibly give you?

Again, either is fine, but you must be honest with yourself about which one it is.

If you desire more time with your man than he can possibly give you, the relationship isn’t going to work. That’s the harsh but honest truth.

But, how much time do you really need? Could you do more things by yourself or with others and make yourself happy? If you are able to do that, would you then be able to thrive on the small amount of time he has for you?

Consider your needs. But also make sure to consider whether you are hoping for a man to complete you and make you happy. If so, a man who has all the time in the world might not be able to do what you need.

Don’t rely so much on someone else, and try to be more self-sufficient if you want to stay with a busy man. However, if you can’t find your happiness with a busy man, make sure to find it with someone who has more time.

2. Be busy.

This is one of the most important tips for dating a busy man—be busy too!

You are more likely to have a happy, healthy relationship with this man if you are like him, and you have a rich, fulfilling life of your own.

Set goals and work on achieving them. Spend time with friends and meet new friends. Dedicate a lot of time to things that you’re passionate about, even if it’s just a hobby for now. Set aside some time for self-care and learn to enjoy your alone time. Work on self-improvement and try to be the best possible version of yourself.

Fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy, even if they’ll make you happy in the future, not right away. Think ahead and work toward what you want in life, just like your man does.

If you have a lot of things going on, you’re not going to lie around and wait for his call all the time. You’re actually more likely to find joy in a relationship with a busy man if you keep yourself busy.

3. Don’t expect the impossible.

You should be aware of what you can expect from him and what he can’t give you no matter how much he’d like to.

Does he help you when things get tough and makes himself available when you really need him to be there for you? Does he support and comfort you? Ultimately, does he take care of you as much as he possibly can? These are the things that you can and should expect from him.

However, if you’re expecting him to constantly be around and talk to you for hours over the phone, that’s not going to happen. Either adjust your expectations if you’re wanting more than he can give you, or look for a different partner.

4. Consider whether he takes care of you.

Are you happy in a relationship with him, and does he do all the things mentioned above? Do you feel like he’s going out of his way to find more time for you, or do you feel more like an option in case he has nothing better to do?

While a busy man may be genuinely busy, he may also use this as an excuse. So, does he fulfill your realistic expectations?

Consider whether he shows you care and respect or if you constantly feel ignored and neglected. Don’t stay in a relationship where your needs aren’t being met, especially if you’re not asking for much.

Does he show you love during the time that you’re together, or is the lack of time together only one of the many problems in your relationship?

5. Take care of yourself.

Even if your busy man manages to meet all your needs, you should address them on your own as well. Know how to take care of yourself without anyone’s help. Do your own thing and make yourself happy. Be the self-sufficient go-getter that can keep up with a busy man. Pamper yourself and make sure that you show yourself love.

Don’t rely on any man for your happiness, whether he has the time to attend to that or not. Have your own private life that doesn’t revolve around him, and don’t wait for him to do things for you. When you could use the help, ask for it, but when you can do something on your own, attend to your needs.

6. Think about the future.

Why is your man so busy? One possibility is that he’s a bit of a workaholic who is focused on his career in an effort to create a better future for himself and the woman he will share his life with. Will that be you?

Make sure to understand his need to focus on the future and to think ahead. Do you two have similar future plans in mind? Are you on the same page when it comes to your goals and the lifestyle that you want to lead?

Your man is likely busy because his focus is on achieving his goals and making his dreams a reality. This is admirable, so try to understand him and let it help you be more patient with him.

However, keep in mind that you’re also allowed to want a different kind of future. So, look ahead, and if you want to stay with a busy man, try to work toward a future together. Set your own goals and make plans with him too.

7. Express the need for more time.

No one said that you can’t ask for more time, so if you’re unhappy with the way things are, speak up about it. Let him know that you need more time with him and try to suggest ways he can fit you into his schedule.

For instance, maybe you could talk over the phone during his lunch break or he could ditch one of his hobbies that he’s not really passionate about.

Don’t pretend that you’re happy with the amount of time that you’re getting from him if you’re not. You’re allowed to speak up when something bothers you, so don’t keep it in.

Maybe there are ways he could find more time for you or make more use of the time that you do get to spend together. Even if he is unable to make time, he should be able to understand your needs, so tell him how you’re feeling.

8. Be aware of his schedule.

Your man will probably be willing to share his schedule with you, so always keep it in mind when making plans. Try to adjust to his plans as much as possible, even if this sounds like you’re prioritizing his needs and wishes over your own.

This might mean seeing him only on weekends instead of weekdays. It might mean knowing when he will be stressed out because of an important meeting or when you shouldn’t contact him.

The truth is, there are many benefits of dating a busy man, but there is a huge downside. You’re not going to get to see him as much as you’d like. You will have to make plans according to his schedule, and you’ll sometimes have them postponed or cancelled anyway.

He won’t always answer the phone or respond to your texts, and there will be occasions when you shouldn’t even text or call him at all. Are you okay with all that? If you want to stay with him, you will have to learn to be okay with it.

9. Plan fun dates.

Maybe you can’t get together all the time, but you can make every time you do meet memorable. Plan fun dates that make your man forget about his job for a while. Laugh together, try fun new things, take pictures, and simply enjoy life and your time together.

Don’t use the little time that you have for fighting over things that don’t really matter. Know that your man will certainly want and try to spend more time with you if you make things fun and memorable.

10. Don’t call or text him during busy hours.

Respect his time. This is the first and most important rule for dating a busy man. When he’s busy, don’t bother him. Refrain from contacting him during important meetings and times when you know he’ll be occupied with something that requires his full attention.

Occasionally, you can send a sweet short text that says “thinking of you” or something like that. However, don’t try to initiate a conversation, or even worse, cause drama or start a conflict. If something bothers you, you have every right to be mad, but respect his time even then.

Starting a fight over a text or a call is a bad idea, so wait to see him in person to talk about it. Even if you just want to let him know that he’s on your mind, send a short text and don’t send follow-ups. Avoid follow-ups altogether. Your man might not read your first messages before receiving several more.

11. Don’t be needy.

Busy men usually don’t love needy women, and it makes sense why—they don’t have time for that. So, try not to be needy.

Yes, you can ask for more time, but don’t try to force him to give you time by constantly texting and calling him. Don’t push him to constantly explain to you why he can’t see you. You also shouldn’t interrogate him with questions about where he was and what he was doing.

A busy man has a fulfilling, busy life. Needy people usually don’t have such a life, and they often let their life revolve around another person. So, a busy man and a needy girlfriend aren’t a good match.

If you want to be with this man, you will need to become busy too, but more on that later.

12. Be flexible.

As you already learned, plans are going to get postponed or canceled much more often than you’d like them to. So, you’ll need to learn to be flexible.

This also means that your man will occasionally have unplanned free time. He might call you out of nowhere to meet right away or make last-minute plans. Don’t just be a booty call, but when he gets extra free time, don’t be too proud to take it! Be flexible and adjust to his schedule as much as your schedule lets you.

Being flexible doesn’t mean that you must drop everything to see him. If you have something important going on, it’s okay to be the one who’s unavailable sometimes. You shouldn’t reject his suggestion just because you’re too proud to accept last-minute plans. However, if you have something else you need to tend to, by all means, do that instead.

13. Trust him and don’t break his trust.

You already learned that you shouldn’t bother your man with a lot of questions about where he is and what he is doing. Obviously, you should know what’s going on in his life, but not exactly what he’s doing every minute of every day.

This is about not being controlling, which will be covered in one of the following points, but it’s about something else too—trust.

You need to trust your man. Don’t doubt his loyalty if he has given you no reason to do that. Just like he doesn’t want a lot of interrogation, he’s not going to ask you a lot either.

He’ll respect your need for a private life just like you respect his. So, you’ll need to trust each other. Don’t betray his trust just because he doesn’t ask you who you’re with and what you’re doing.

14. Do what you love.

Your man probably loves his job or hobbies, and this passion is what keeps him going.

Is there something that you’re passionate about? There probably is, but if you can’t think of anything, make sure to search for your passion by trying out new and different things.

Maybe you dream of writing the next New York Times Bestseller, would love to learn to speak German, or make the best meatballs. It can be anything! So, look for what you actually love and enjoy doing.

Finding a hobby, or even several hobbies, is a great way to fill up your schedule and make yourself happy at the same time. Your man is out there doing what he’s passionate about. So what’s stopping you from doing the same thing instead of waiting for him to be done with it?

He will surely support your decision to do more of what you love doing.

15. Love what you do.

As already mentioned, your man probably loves what he does, and that’s why he’s always busy doing it.

If he loves to work, could you love your job too? If you already love your job, throw yourself into your career. See if you can work for a raise or a promotion, even if you’re not crazy about your job. If you don’t love what you do, see whether you can make a career switch and learn some new skills.

Dedicate some time to learning new skills and perfecting existing ones to get a shot at your dream job. If that’s not possible, see if you can turn your hobby into a side hustle or even a career one day. The point is to do what you love and love what you do.

This would be good for you regardless of who you’re with, but it’s especially beneficial in a relationship with a busy man.

16. Support him.

Busy men often feel frustrated, anxious, and stressed out. So, he needs you to understand and support him. Be the person who always knows how to cheer him up or at least make him relax after a long day at work.

Don’t nag him about working too much. Instead, be his support system. Understand the goals that he’s trying to reach and cheer him on on his way to the life he wants.

Don’t complain too much about his work-related commitments, and stop yourself from demanding his company when he has no time for it.

When you’re dating a busy man, you need to understand that you can’t be his only priority. You’ll be sharing his attention with his job, and possibly his family, friends, or hobbies.

17. Don’t be controlling.

Understand that the only things you can control are your own choices. You can’t control the outcome or other people’s decisions, so don’t try to.

You shouldn’t try to control a busy man because you will just lose him. Instead of asking what he does or dictating what he can’t do, show understanding and give him enough freedom to do his thing.

A busy man doesn’t have the time and energy it takes to be with a controlling girlfriend. Plus, being controlling is not a positive trait. If you have control issues, it wouldn’t do you any good if you were with someone less busy either. So, understand that you can’t control everything and let go of the need to try to.

18. Surprise him.

Don’t be afraid to surprise him every now and then, preferably with something that makes his life easier. For instance, you could get him something related to time management or productivity, like a planner or useful software. You can also surprise him with a couple’s massage to help him relax or by planning a date that revolves around his likes and interests.

Make sure that the surprises are always positive and welcome though. Don’t unexpectedly show up at his office without permission to bring him coffee and see who he hangs out with at work. Unless he made it clear that you can do something like that, assume that his office is off limits.

19. Spend quality time together.

When you do get to spend time together, make sure that it’s quality time. Since you don’t get to talk to him as much as you’d like, focus on things that you want him to know, not everyday things that he already knows.

Have meaningful conversations and remember that quality beats quantity. So, having a little quality time together could be more meaningful than a lot of time spent together doing nothing.

When your man enjoys the moments you spend together, he’ll be more motivated to make time for you. Being with you won’t be the boring chore that he dreads doing. Instead, you’ll be his stress-free way of unwinding from work. He can spend his free time with the woman who makes him feel happy and loved. He’ll be sure to find time for that.

20. Don’t prolong conflicts.

Busy men don’t have the time and energy for drama and conflict, so they avoid it as much as possible. Conflicts occasionally happen in every relationship though. Busy men know this, but they also know that conflict doesn’t have to last for days.

So don’t exaggerate conflicts and hold onto them for a long time. It will make your man feel irritated, and it will mess up his schedule. If there’s no need for that to happen, don’t cause it.

Try to clear up any misunderstandings as soon as they occur and solve conflicts within a couple of hours or during the same day. If there are too many of them, and they can’t be resolved quickly, maybe your man being busy is not the only thing that’s stopping you from being together.

21. Suggest taking a break sometimes.

Everyone who works hard needs a break every now and then. Busy people risk suffering the effects of burnout. So, they need to occasionally unwind and forget about work. Suggest that your man does this sometimes.

You can plan a romantic getaway or simply suggest that you go on a short trip together. Burnouts are frustrating, and they are the enemy of productivity. So, if you think that your man could use a break, remind him of the benefits of taking one.

Maybe he can’t go on a vacation, but you could get a couple’s massage, go shopping, bowling, or whatever it is that relaxes him. Think of the things that he enjoys doing that are unrelated to his work. This is probably what he would like to do during his break.

22. Consider things in the long run.

So, can you stay in this relationship for a long time, possibly forever? If you’re also a busy person, you’re not controlling or needy, and you respect your man’s time and need for a private life, you’ve got this covered!

But, if you’re not like this, and you really need a man to be there for you more often, consider finding someone more available.

Still not sure how to successfully date a busy man (or whether to in the first place)? It’s not an easy situation to be in, and it might be all the more difficult if you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Talking to someone is a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them.

We really recommend you speak to an experienced relationship expert rather than a friend or family member. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can listen to you and offer tailored advice to help you figure out what you want from this man and whether he is going to be able to provide it.

A good place to get help is the website Relationship Hero – here, you’ll be able to connect with a relationship counselor via phone, video, or instant message.

Too many people try to muddle through and see where things go, but it can end up affecting their mental well-being. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a relationship expert is 100% the best way forward.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to an expert. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

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About Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.