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Do you feel like you are the one doing all of the work in your relationship?
Do you only participate in activities that your partner wants to do?
Does your partner take you for granted or hide you from important people?
One-sided relationships still consist of two people, except that in these partnerships only one person does the work. While you may be fully committed to your partner, it may not be enough to keep your relationship alive and thriving.
If love is not being reciprocated, it is difficult to build a long-lasting relationship. If you are in a one-sided relationship, you may wonder if you should try to fix it or move on to someone else that might treat you better.
21 Signs You Are In A One-Sided Relationship
Sometimes you may know deep down that you are in a one-sided relationship, but admitting it to yourself and deciding what to do is the toughest part of it all.
If its less clear in your mind that this is the situation you face, here are the signs that you are definitely involved in such an unbalanced relationship.
1. You initiate most communication.
You are the one who makes the phone calls, sends the text messages, and makes the effort to get together. If you dont instigate things, youll go days without hearing from them. You can count on one hand the times that your partner initiated a conversation with you.
2. Your partner chooses their friends over you.
If your partner wants to go out with friends, they dont invite you to come along. If you ask your partner to hang out with you and your friends, they reject the offer. It seems as though your partner prefers their friends to you.
3. Your partner ignores relationship problems.
You are the only one who tries to talk about the issues that you are experiencing together in your relationship. Your partner rolls their eyes and gets irritated with you for bringing it up again. They prefer to ignore the problems you are facing.
4. Your partner doesnt care about you.
If you get the feeling that your partner doesnt care about you, you are probably right. If you are in a one-sided relationship, your significant other does not care about making you happy. They dont ask about your day or listen to your stories. Instead, the only thing you do talk about (when you actually talk) is your partners life.
5. You constantly worry the relationship is falling apart.
You are stressed all of the time because you are worried that your relationship is about to be over. This might be because you are considering ending it or because youre not sure your partner cares enough and could break things off between you at any moment.
When you are going through a tough time in other areas of your life, your partner isnt there for you. They dont try to comfort you physically, they dont want to listen to your woes, and they dont try to cheer you up.
7. You make excuses for them to your friends and family.
It is obvious to those around you that your partner doesnt treat you as well as they should. But rather than accept the criticisms of your partner, you find yourself defending them and making excuses for them.
8. You put in all of the effort when it comes to physical touch and affection.
You need and enjoy physical affection but have to do all of the work to initiate it and keep it a feature of your relationship. You go in for the hugs, you take their hand in yours, you instigate sex. If it werent for you, the two of you would barely ever touch.
9. Youre starting to feel unlovable.
The longer your relationship carries on with your partner not pulling their weight, the more it affects your self-esteem. You are beginning to think that you must be unworthy of love because you put in all this effort and get nothing back.
10. The bad times outweigh the good times.
There are some good times in your relationship. You and your partner still sometimes have fun or express care toward each other. But these times are few and far between. The bad times far outweigh the good. Yet you stay in the relationship in the hope that this balance will one day shift.
11. You take on a lot of the blame for your relationships problems.
Whenever conflict arises between you and your partner, you find yourself taking a lot of the blame and apologizing more than you ought to. Your partner never sees things from your perspective and refuses to accept any responsibility for the role they play in the issues you face.
12. You want to change them.
Though you love your partner, you cant help but wish theyd change. You find yourself dreaming of a time when they behave in the ways youd like them to. You dont want to control them; you just want them to be a better partner to you.
13. You take on all the day-to-day duties.
If you live together, you have assumed the role of housekeeper. Not by choice but because your partner either expects you to or is content to live in a filthy mess. You also cook, organize bill payments, and generally make sure everything runs smoothly.
14. Your partner doesnt fulfill your needs.
Everyone has needs – physical, emotional, sexual, and other. But your needs are rarely fulfilled by your partner. They barely make an effort of any sort to keep you happy. They either dont realize what your needs are, or they simply arent interested.
15. Your partner refuses to work and relies on you financially.
For whatever reason, some people just dont want to work. If your partner isnt working and isnt putting much effort into finding a job, you might be paying for everything from your own income. This puts a lot of stress on your shoulders.
16. You feel too invested to leave.
You might suspect that your relationship is unbalanced and unhealthy but are so invested in it that you feel unable or unwilling to end things. You put up with a lot more than you should rather than face being single again.
17. You are always trying to avoid triggering their anger or irritation.
You have to walk on eggshells around your partner because they have anger issues or get irritated whenever you raise concerns with them. You may put on a mask and pretend to feel or think a certain way in order to appease them.
18. Your partner doesnt really know you.
Regardless of how long you have been with your partner, they never really took the time or made the effort to get to know the real you. You know them well but they dont know your likes, dislikes, history, or anything else for that matter.
19. Your bend to your partners wishes all of the time.
Relationships involve a bit of give and take. Only your relationship doesnt. Your partner likes to get their own way and will use forms of manipulation such as emotional blackmail to get it. You make an unhealthy level of sacrifice just to keep them happy.
20. They dont follow through on plans and promises.
Your partner may talk the talk but they rarely walk the walk. They dont follow through on plans youve made together and they break the promises they make almost every time. So much so, in fact, that you dont believe half of what they say anymore.
21. They openly flirt with other people.
You take your relationship far more seriously than your partner does. One way this shows is that they flirt with other people all the time. Its a clear sign that they dont respect you as a person or value the relationship you have together.
Can You Fix A One-Sided Relationship?
If you are determined to give it your all, you can try to fix a one-sided relationship.
There is no magic formula, and it may not work at all. Sometimes the relationship cannot be fixed, and once you realize this, you will be able to leave knowing that there wasnt anything you could do.
Equality and respect are vital to all relationships, so unless you can get the balance that you need and deserve, your relationship might be doomed.
If you feel that you are in a one-sided relationship and want to fix it, try these strategies to determine if your relationship has a viable future.
1. Seek out expert relationship advice.
In all honesty, fixing a relationship that is this unbalanced is not something that happens quickly or easily. It takes time and effort and patience.
You will benefit from the guidance of a relationship expert as you work to save and improve your relationship. At first its likely that youll be talking to them alone to get help dealing with your partner and finding ways to make small improvements. You may then want to involve your partner in some form of couples therapy to address the bigger issues.
Relationship Hero is a good place to go for this guidance. Their relationship experts can offer you all the help you need from the comfort of your own home as everything takes places online. Its also excellent value compared to the equivalent in-person services. Click here to get started.
Expect this process to continue for a matter of months. You cant do this by halves – its all in or not in at all. You need time to follow the advice the relationship expert gives you and behavioral changes dont happen overnight.
If you can honestly say that you want this relationship to continue, expert guidance gives you the best chance of improving the situation.
2. Find out if your partner is willing to change.
You wont be able to fix a one-sided relationship by yourself. Your partner will have to be an active participant. You need to ask yourself is “Is my partner willing to change?”
If they are not willing, there isnt much you can do. Before you spend all of your energy chasing this relationship, find out if it has a chance.
3. Sort out your feelings.
Before you can start to communicate effectively with your partner, you need to get a handle on how you really feel.
How does being in a one-sided relationship make you feel? Are you frustrated, scared, sad, or anxious? Perhaps you are confused as to how you ended up in this situation.
The more you can get in touch with your own feelings, the better you will be able to communicate effectively. Take some time to yourself to get all of your emotions sorted out first.
4. Communicate with your partner.
Communication is the only way to fix a one-sided relationship, so you have to have the big talk with your partner.
Without getting angry, carefully explain to your partner about what is going on and how you feel. If your significant other is committed to you, they will listen. If they are not interested in putting in the effort, they will show little regard for your feelings.
Communication will also be vital as you work together to improve the relationship. You have to keep checking in with each other to understand how youre feeling and how the changes you are trying to implement are working or not working.
This is another reason why speaking to an expert is a good idea – these conversations become a lot more comfortable when you have a neutral third party to guide you through them on a regular basis.
5. Focus on one problem at a time.
Stay focused on one issue at a time so that you avoid overwhelming your partner. You dont want them to feel attacked. Stay specific and avoid bringing up past issues. Stay in the present.
Even if your partner gets defensive and tries to bring up irrelevant issues, stay the course and avoid getting emotional. No one said this would be easy.
6. Focus on yourself.
Spend some time focusing on yourself. Growing your own life is a good way to fix a one-sided relationship. How long has your life been dominated by the whims of your partner? Break the cycle. What do you want out of life? What do you enjoy doing? Spend some time reflecting and building your own life – outside of your relationship.
The more time you dedicate to yourself, the more your partner will realize that you dont exist purely to look after them. This may be enough to provoke a positive reaction out of them. They may see what they have and what they risk losing if they continue to treat you like a second class partner.
Sometimes when you are in the middle of a relationship, it can be hard to see clearly. A successful relationship requires two people loving and caring for each other – not only one person. If your partner really does love you, he or she will take action to correct the behaviors that are making you unhappy. If you do not see a positive change, it is time to value yourself more than you value your relationship. Life is too short to be in a toxic relationship that drags you down. You are worth more than that.
Still not sure how to approach your one-sided relationship? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.
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