People who dislike their lives tend to follow the same types of formulaic behavior, of which most of us are familiar with by now. Similarly, people who truly love their lives also exhibit specific behaviors, which don’t manifest when folks are unhappy.
You’ll know that a person is sincerely content with the life they’re living if they do most (if not all) of the things on this list. Check them out to see if they seem familiar to you, and if they don’t, that might be a gentle prod for you to make some necessary changes.
1. They refuse to stretch themselves thin helping others sort out their messes.
The average person who truly loves their life is someone who has spent a great deal of time cultivating the circumstances in which they thrive. Part of this includes establishing boundaries that prevent them from being used or mistreated, and protecting those boundaries strictly. Psychologists refer to this as “non-intervention”, and it is ideal for protecting one’s own peace and well-being.
Those who practice it refuse to be drawn into other people’s messes with the expectation that they help them fix what they’ve broken. While they might make themselves available to counsel these folks and offer advice (when asked), they won’t shoulder any of the burden of fixing the issue themselves. Furthermore, they’ll make it clear that they aren’t to be called at 3 a.m. because someone is having a meltdown due to their own poor life choices.
2. Their chief topics of discussion are usually their projects and hobbies.
Whereas unhappy people spend most of their time complaining, people who love their lives enthusiastically discuss everything awesome that’s going on in their worlds. They’ll talk about the cool projects they’re involved with, show off the hobbies they’ve been working on, share photos of their gardens, and so on.
Essentially, they pour the majority of their time and energy into things that they love and feel an immense amount of joy and satisfaction in doing so. You’ll know they’re happy with their lives because they’re always enthusiastic about the lovely things that they’re doing, and with whom, and are delighted to share cheerful and inspiring details about them.
3. They spend time in their own company.
People who truly love their lives aren’t just comfortable with solitude: they seek it out, and may even prefer it to socializing with others. That doesn’t mean that they’re misanthropic and dislike other people at all, but they rarely feel lonely or bored, and they feel content in their own company.
My partner and I fall into this category, and we both spend a great deal of our time alone. She prefers silence while I like to play music, and we check in with each other regularly and share meals or coffee breaks throughout the day, but we don’t feel a pressing need to be in each other’s pockets at all times.
4. They avoid gossip or drama.
Misery loves company, and unhappy people love to be agony aunts for one another, sharing gossip and drama and seeking it out whenever possible. In contrast, happy people try to avoid these topics.
They don’t see the point in sharing information that’s depressing or malicious, nor do they want to hear it. They’re curating their lives in such a way that they’re surrounded by positivity and joy, and they aren’t about to poison it. Furthermore, many of them go out of their way to spread positivity and hope in other people’s lives. They’re the ones posting inspiring memes online and texting friends just to remind them of how cherished they are.
5. They let go of fantasies about revenge or “getting someone back.”
It’s a sad reality that pretty much everyone is going to be mistreated or screwed over by someone at some point in their life. This is devastating when it happens, and a startling number of people believe that they’ll only find peace by getting revenge and making the wrongdoer suffer for the perceived slight.
Meanwhile, the happiest people around are those who understand that there are always aspects of a situation that they aren’t aware of, and that even the most challenging experiences can offer opportunities for learning and growth. They focus on moving forward and living the rest of their lives well, instead of dwelling on temporary hurt, knowing that everything eventually works out for everyone involved.
6. They fully engage with their projects and pursuits.
They don’t seek distractions or lose themselves in any kind of procrastination because the tasks at hand are those they want to do and fully engage with. If they love their job, they look forward to everything they get to immerse themselves in over the course of the day, and feel satisfied every evening because they’ve done a great job and enjoyed every aspect of it.
People like this don’t waste time on things they don’t sincerely want to do. They won’t attend events that they’ll despise, nor will they continue to work in places that suck their souls out. They make contentment and fulfillment top priorities, and eliminate whatever doesn’t inspire those feelings.
7. They have an air of joy around them.
Have you ever had a random stranger smile at you at the library or offer a compliment when you’re in line at a store? Chances are they were radiating joy, with an easy smile and a kind word for just about anyone they met. They’re the complete opposite of those who seem to have a cloud of toxic sludge around them at all times because they’re so miserable.
A person who loves their life can’t help but exude joy on a regular basis. Instead of trudging through life with bitterness and resentment, they greet each day with enthusiasm because they know it’ll be full of everything they love most in this world: fulfilling pursuits, people they love, animals that warm their hearts, and experiences that teach and inspire them.
8. They sleep peacefully.
You’ve likely noticed that sleep doesn’t come easily when your life is stressful and unhappy. This usually happens because when a person isn’t occupied with tasks and responsibilities, thoughts and emotions about how miserable they are seep forward, causing them to toss and turn instead of getting much-needed rest.
Meanwhile, when a person truly loves their life, they sleep easily and deeply because the majority of their thoughts are pleasant ones. They aren’t kept awake by stress, fear, resentment, or other crumbugglies that’ll keep them from drifting off peacefully. Instead, they likely keep a gratitude journal in which they write a few lines every night, counting and appreciating all of their blessings, and helping them to drift off to dreamland.
Final thoughts…
A lot of people try to avoid facing the reality of just how unhappy they are because of how much effort will be needed to get into better circumstances. If the things on this list are completely alien to you, then that’s a surefire sign that action is needed to improve your situation as soon as possible.
Of course, if you cheerfully tick every item on this list because it all applies to you, congratulations! You’ve achieved a degree of joy and satisfaction with your life that others can only aspire to. Enjoy every minute of it.
