A satisfying life is not something you blindly stumble into. Instead, it is something that you build with intention, brick by brick, until you have the kind of life that you want. It takes work to create all of the different factors that go into a satisfying life. Relationships don’t just happen, and experiences don’t just pay for themselves, after all.
So, if you are looking to build your own deeply satisfying life, consider these 8 tips to help you along your way.
1. Slow down and choose intentional stillness.
Our culture prizes and prioritizes nonstop activity. Get more done in your day! Be productive! You only live once! You should be hustlin’ harder! It’s annoying and exhausting, even if it is something that many of us have to do to try to build the kind of life that we want.
As coach and best-selling author Michael Hyatt writes, that is what makes intentional stillness so powerful. You miss a lot of life by staying constantly busy. It’s in the still, quiet times that we are more likely to experience satisfaction. Satisfaction is often a small, quiet emotion, and it’s hard to notice when you’re bombarded with stimulation.
Intentionally slow down and take a few minutes to be quiet and still every day. And yes, that means putting aside your phone, too.
2. Do fewer things, and do them well.
Satisfaction is an emotion that is fueled by doing things deeply and with care. That is, it’s much harder to feel satisfied about something you just blew through that didn’t require any real effort. Still, people look for satisfaction by trying to pack as many activities in as they can. Instead of doing too much, do fewer things with greater care.
By doing fewer things, you allow yourself to sink more into the activity that you’re doing, better understand it, and put more intentional effort into it. That allows you to create the space to feel satisfaction by doing the thing with intention, care, and effort.
It doesn’t have to be huge projects either. Even something like reading a book, cooking a dinner, or completing a project can provide fulfillment and satisfaction.
3. Practice gratitude every day, especially the hard days.
Gratitude does not deny pain or struggle. We can acknowledge and appreciate the good things in life while still accepting that there is pain. Gratitude causes us to develop a deeper sense of appreciation for the good things that we do have, even if there aren’t many of them. That sense of deep appreciation leads to a deeper sense of satisfaction because we know that we could lose that which we are appreciating.
As someone who lives with severe bipolar depression, I underestimated the power of gratitude because it just seemed silly. What I didn’t understand is that what we think about often guides our emotions. Learning to practice gratitude helped me to shift what I would think about when my brain was in the dumpster, which would help alleviate some of my depression.
It’s not a fix-all. It did not fix my depression. But as the Anxiety & Depression Association of America informs us, gratitude can help when the brain wants nothing more than to drown in the negativity and emptiness of depression. Gratitude reminds us that there are better things and that this will pass, sooner or later.
4. Align your life with your values.
Dissatisfaction grows when we don’t live in tune with our values. The values and principles we have shape the way we perceive reality, how we think things should be, and how they are.
Not only that, but when you don’t live in alignment with your values, it puts you around the wrong people. The more you embody your values, the better other people can see what you’re about, and you can find your people more easily. Other people with similar values are attracted to that because they can actually see who you are and what you’re about.
Of course, it’s hard to live in tune with your values if your values aren’t popular or mainstream, but it is so worthwhile for your peace of mind and personal satisfaction.
5. Let go of the constant pressure of self-improvement.
Self-growth is valuable, but it can turn into an unhealthy obsession. You can’t spend so much time picking out your flaws to constantly work on and be happy with yourself. There needs to be a balance where you can love and accept yourself for who you are, despite the flaws that you may have. There needs to be a finish line you can reach to say, “Yes, I am enough.”
The other issue with constant self-improvement is that it prevents you from enjoying the present. Instead of being okay with right now, as it is, you’re looking ahead to how to make things better too often.
That creates a vacuum where you’re never good enough for yourself, so you’re going to regularly feel dissatisfied that you aren’t where you want to be. Then, when you do get to where you want to be, you may not be taking the time to just stop and appreciate the progress you made. After all, there is always something to improve.
6. Invest in experiences that give you memories and stories.
Experiences are the best way to create a fulfilling, satisfying life. After all, satisfaction is an emotion that we’re chasing, and to create that emotion, we need satisfying circumstances. That’s much easier to do when you’re creating or accomplishing a goal yourself. Similarly, it may also be a matter of reaching the end state of a goal.
For example, maybe you’ve been saving money for the past year to take a vacation. Then you have that sense of accomplishment of reaching your goal, taking the vacation, with the added bonus of all of the memories of your experience. But, it’s not just about going places, it’s about what you do wherever you may go. It can be just as fulfilling or satisfying to take an art class and create something with your own two hands.
7. Prioritize meaningful relationships with others.
Meaningful relationships provide satisfaction and fulfillment that is hard to replicate from other sources. Humans are largely social creatures that need one another, as you can see from the many mental health benefits that come from socializing. It’s also why loneliness is such a stark, negative thing for your mental health.
Just about any experience can be more meaningful when you’re doing the activity with the right person. Even something as mundane as going for a drive can be wonderful when you have someone you care about at your side.
It’s all too easy to let our relationships fall by the wayside in the hustle and bustle of life. Still, you want to make the time and dedicate the energy to keeping your relationships healthy and happy.
8. Learn to enjoy the present instead of chasing the future.
Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s an emotion. It’s a moment where you allow yourself to feel good rather than waiting for things to be perfect. It’s finding joy right now in this present moment where life is happening, not after the next milestone, promotion, partner, or whatever it is you’re waiting on.
There is joy to be found in most moments if you allow yourself to find it. Maybe it’s something as simple as putting on a song you really like and just enjoying that for a few minutes. It could be a chocolate chip cookie, or a sunset, or the satisfaction of knocking something off your to-do list.
The present is where life is. Tomorrow may not come, so you can’t wait to find happiness then.
Final thoughts…
A satisfying life isn’t something that’s perfect, flashy, or ideal for social media. It’s something you build intentionally with small choices that reflect your values and what matters most to you. It’s not about escaping your current life, but learning how to be fully in it and love it the way that it deserves to be loved.
After all, we only get one life, and it’s up to each of us to find a way to make it satisfying and fulfilling.
