We’ve all had moments in which we’ve said that if we knew what we know now several decades earlier, we would have made entirely different choices. I know I would have taken alternate paths with my decisions, as the ones I made certainly had long-lasting, detrimental effects.
People who are en route to 50 have the opportunity to learn from their elders and take their advice about what they would have done differently. By doing so, they may be able to avoid making the following mistakes.
1. Slowing down physically (more than is necessary).
One of my relatives is in the hospital right now after sustaining a bad fall. He didn’t trip or stumble over anything, nor did he suffer a dizzy spell or disorientation: his muscles have simply atrophied to the point where he’s unable to walk more than a few feet without falling over. He’s in this state because he has spent the past decade either sitting or lying down while watching sports or playing on his tablet.
Movement is life, and when we stop moving, we start to shut down. This is known as sarcopenia, and according to medical studies, most people lose 3% to 5% of muscle mass and bone density every decade after the age of 30.
Fortunately, sarcopenia can be slowed significantly with a balanced diet and a more active lifestyle that involves both movement and strength training. Although exercise might hurt at times, gentle movement like tai chi, swimming, and resistance band workouts can do more good than you can imagine. If chronic pain or conditions mean your mobility is limited, there are still ways to move within your limits and build your strength and confidence up, for example, with chair or even bed Pilates.
2. No longer challenging their brain.
The brain needs workouts as well, but a lot of older people allow their minds to atrophy along with their bodies. This is understandable in many ways: most of us spend several decades working at jobs that drain us, so once we have more downtime, all we really want to do is rest. Unfortunately, a lack of mental stimuli can cause natural degeneration to accelerate.
According to recent studies, getting decent sleep is one of the best ways to reduce or slow the cognitive decline that inevitably accompanies aging. In addition to getting more sleep, challenging one’s brain by learning a new skill or language, or doing things like playing games, doing puzzles, and making crafts can all help to keep the mind more active and healthy.
3. Getting set in their ways, and therefore stagnating.
It’s immensely frustrating to deal with older relatives who have been doing something a particular way for ages and refuse to budge from their technique. Even if it turns out that there are better, more efficient, or simply “correct” ways of doing it.
Some perfect examples of these are recipes they’ve been cooking for years that incorporate seriously unhealthy ingredients or potentially dangerous, unhygienic preparation methods, but that’s how they’ve always done it, and they won’t be convinced otherwise.
Never deviating from a well-worn path leads to stagnation. While having tried-and-true favorites is great, there’s a lot to be said for being open to learning new things. Even breaking free from standard routines can create opportunities for growth and experience. For example, going to a cafe or the library on a different day than usual might provide the chance to meet new friends and try new things, rather than plodding on the same hamster wheel indefinitely.
4. Trying to do too much.
The other day, my partner and I were reminiscing about how, in our twenties, we’d get up at dawn, go for runs, get some chores done, then work eight hours, hit the gym afterwards, maybe go out to see live music later, and then get up and do it all over again. Now, we consider ourselves accomplished if we get all those things done within a week.
We don’t have the time, energy, or wherewithal to do all of those things on a daily basis, and know that we would likely fall apart rather quickly if we tried to. Some people are keen to keep on keeping on the way they always have, well after their 50th birthdays roll around, but they inevitably end up needing medical care as a result. As we get older, we don’t bounce back from sleep deficits, small injuries, or minor illnesses the way we used to, and embracing a slower pace in life is far more beneficial than burning out by trying to do it all.
5. Not being expansive.
Most of us have relatives who refuse to try new things because they like what they like, and that’s that. This could entail different global cuisines, music genres, films, or any other number of things they might enjoy if they simply gave them a chance.
A lot of people forget that all the things they love the most were once new to them, too. By refusing to try anything new, they deny themselves the opportunity to discover things that might set their souls on fire. It’s great to have comfortable favorites to rely upon, and also to avoid things that one knows may be disruptive. But expanding comfort zones outwards by incorporating new experiences is part of what makes our little lives worth living.
6. Adhering to the same diet they enjoyed in their younger years.
When I was 17, a favorite snack of mine was tortilla (corn) chips with chocolate chip mint ice cream and salsa, so help me. If I ate those now, at my age, not only would I have gastro dismay the likes of which would be echoed in horror fiction for a century, but I’d gain about ten pounds per snack session.
People’s bodies change exponentially over time, and the foods that help them thrive will change as well. Young children need certain foods to help them grow, and mature people need whole foods, nutrient density, essential vitamins and minerals (like vitamin D and calcium), and healthy fats to maintain health as long as possible. Of course, different people will have different dietary needs — as well as individual restrictions — so it’s a good idea to consult with nutritionists to determine the best food options for your body and unique needs.
7. Desperately trying to cling to youth instead of aging with grace.
As we age, the inevitability of our imminent mortality comes into sharper focus. This scares a lot of people, who inevitably have existential crises and try to cling to youth rather than accepting the aging process with grace and self-respect. As a result, they may behave in a manner that makes others uncomfortable and turns them into caricatures that evoke pity or contempt rather than admiration.
Most of us have felt awkward when older relatives or acquaintances have behaved in a raucous, immature fashion in an attempt to remain cool, desirable, or fun in younger people’s eyes, and we would be horrified if we knew we were inspiring that viewpoint in others.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with maintaining youthful wonder and vitality, but it’s important to balance it out with a modicum of dignity. For example, dancing at a concert or dyeing hair bright colors is great, but flirting with your kids’ friends (or partners) to prove that you’ve still “got it” is certainly not.
Final thoughts…
People are remaining far healthier and more youthful now than ever before. For example, Wilford Brimley was 50 when he played an elderly retirement home resident in Cocoon, while Paul Rudd is still an action star at 56. Our generation doesn’t look or feel the same way our parents or grandparents did, because we have different knowledge and opportunities, and make different choices than they did.
By avoiding the mistakes listed here, we give ourselves the chance to look forward to golden years that are full of vitality, creativity, and fulfillment, rather than infirmity and depressing decline.
