How many times have you kicked yourself for taking quick action in a situation instead of approaching it patiently? Most of us try to avoid discomfort as much as possible, so when a situation arises that we find awkward or painful, we try to plow through it rather than taking the time to unravel it slowly and methodically.
While bulldozing may be the right choice in some circumstances, the following situations benefit far more from patience than pig-headedness. By remaining calm and open, the right course of action will make itself known to you with great clarity.
1. When you’re having an argument.
Many people end up making arguments with loved ones far worse than they need to be by assuming things and filling in blanks rather than waiting until they have all the pertinent information. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and then get angry about them, but if you blow up at someone when you don’t have all the facts, you may cause damage that apologies just won’t be able to fix later.
To avoid making hasty assumptions, wait until you have all the details possible, and then analyze them as calmly as possible. Only then is it a good idea to determine what the best course of action may be. Even if it takes a while to pore through all this, it’s better to take your time, gather information, verify it, and then figure out what to do next than it is to explode first and try to pick up the pieces afterwards.
2. When a seemingly amazing opportunity arises.
About 20 years ago, I was terribly depressed about the awful job I was stuck in and commuting hours every day, when a too-good-to-be-true opportunity arose. Someone I had gone to high school with reached out to me on LinkedIn and asked if I’d be interested in working with him. The pay sounded amazing, as did the work opportunity in general, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to quit my job right then and there so I could flee to greener pastures.
My intuition told me to hold off, however, and I’m happy I listened to it. I reached out to mutual acquaintances from back in the day and found out that this dude was lying through his teeth. He had reached out to several women he’d had crushes on back in the day in an attempt to lure them in with the promise of work. It turns out this guy was actually being sued: he had pretended to have cancer so his social circle would buy him food, a laptop, and so on. Had I jumped the gun and quit, I would have been in dire straits indeed.
3. In healthcare situations.
It’s easy to panic and assume the worst when it comes to health scares. When scary symptoms arise, many people catastrophize and envision worst-case scenarios, right down to worrying about sorting out their will and ensuring caregivers for their pets.
Whatever the health issue may be, it’s best to stay calm, be patient, and wait for an official diagnosis. From there, you and your healthcare team can determine what the next steps are — whether it’s a treatment plan, preventative measures, medication change, and so on.
Jumping the gun before having all the details in front of you can lead to serious missteps and regret. As such, be patient (even though it’s difficult), distract yourself if you can, and allow the best course of action to unfurl before you.
4. When you’re in a rush, and things seem like they’re going wrong.
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re running late, you’re in a bad mood, and suddenly your clothes get caught on every door handle, you can’t find your keys, you put on two different shoes, and you end up 0.02 seconds away from a complete breakdown?
When you’re pressed for time and everything around you seems to be falling apart, the best thing you can do is actually slow all the way down. By doing so, you’ll likely avoid potential mistakes that may end up causing severe (possibly even irreversible) damage.
Consider Napoleon’s request to his steward: “Dress me slowly — I’m in a hurry”. Being patient and doing things properly is usually the best way to prevent mistakes and accidents from occurring.
5. When you hear a story but haven’t verified it yet.
Much like with arguments, it’s easy to get worked up about something you’ve heard that someone has said or done before verifying the facts about it. Countless people have leapt into action after hearing something upsetting, only to discover that they hadn’t heard the full story, and they can’t take back their words or actions.
When you hear a story that immediately upsets or horrifies you, put patience into practice instead of flying off the handle. Try to remain neutral until you’ve gathered all the facts, verified details from all sides, and determined the best way to respond. Only then should you move forward to sort it out.
It’s worth noting that this principle applies equally—if not more critically—to stories you encounter on social media before sharing them. The consequences of spreading unverified information can be severe and far-reaching.
For example, consider viral posts about missing children that turn out to be custody dispute cases where sharing aids an abductor, false medical advice that could harm vulnerable people who follow it, and fabricated emergency fundraisers that divert money from legitimate causes.
These stories often trigger strong emotional responses—outrage, fear, or sympathy—which is precisely what makes them spread so quickly. But that same emotional reaction should be your signal to pause, engage your critical thinking skills, verify the information through reputable sources, and wait before hitting “share.”
6. When you aren’t functioning at your best.
Even the most resilient of us can fall apart in certain situations, such as when we’re severely intoxicated, paralyzed with fear, or overcome with grief. At times like these, our decision-making abilities are severely impaired, and it would be a very bad idea to make important, potentially life-altering decisions until we’re feeling significantly more grounded.
If you recognize that you aren’t functioning at 100 percent, try to withdraw from the situation so you can center yourself. Patience is paramount at times like these, so if the decisions you need to make don’t need your immediate attention, give yourself time and space to calm down and think them through logically and rationally.
7. When unexpected delays or errors occur.
Many people panic and go into rapid problem-solving mode when facing a delay or an error made by someone else. For example, if they find out that their flight is going to be late, or that the airline has misplaced their luggage. If you find yourself in this predicament, calm all the way down: unless you’re transporting a heart for a transplant patient, there’s very little that can’t be fixed with some time and rescheduling.
I once found myself stuck at an airport overnight because my flight was delayed due to bad weather. This caused me to miss my connecting flight, which also needed to be rescheduled. While I wasn’t terribly impressed at the time, that irritation turned to delight when the airline bumped me up to business class in thanks for my patience and understanding. I still arrived at my destination with plenty of time to spare and had extra leg room and fancy snacks along the way.
8. When you’re lost.
Most children are taught that if they get lost, they should stay calm, remain where they are, and call for help. That lesson is often forgotten once they reach adulthood, however, and many of the people who end up in harrowing predicaments — particularly in the wild — are those who have wandered off in search of help rather than letting it come to them.
If you go camping, hiking, or on any other adventure that requires you to meander into rural areas, keep a whistle on hand. This way, if you happen to get lost, you can follow that childhood lesson and whistle merrily until help arrives. It may be a bit tedious or even scary to do so, but being patient in a situation like this can mean the difference between getting rescued and being turned into soup after falling into a boiling hot spring.
Final thoughts…
If you’re anything like me, you likely thrive in chaotic situations and want to get an action plan into place as soon as things go sideways. I learned the hard way that patience is absolutely necessary in the situations listed here, and that looking (and measuring, and waiting) before leaping will always ensure an ideal outcome.
That doesn’t mean that being patient is easy — it’s sometimes the most difficult and harrowing option when all you want to do is move forward as quickly as possible — but patience always reveals the best course of action.
