You’ve probably noticed that a lot of people are quick to judge others for liking or wanting things that don’t align with their age group. Younger people who like quiet, cerebral things are often mocked for behaving like grandparents, while older folks who are still full of joie de vivre are admonished for being childish and irresponsible.
In reality, unless an interest or pursuit requires a particular DNA code to activate, it should be accessible to anyone who wants to delve into or pursue it. Here are just 9 such things you’re allowed to want regardless of your age that should come without negative judgment.
1. Things of true meaning and substance.
Wanting things that have depth and purpose isn’t something that only the 40+ crowd is interested in. People of all ages want to feed their spirits with things that have substance and meaning in order to inspire them and give them things to think about. Stories, whether in books, TV shows, or films, nurture the mind as much as good food and exercise nurture the body.
Unfortunately, many entertainment items being released these days are flat and disappointing: a “pie without any filling”, to quote Geralt of Rivia. Whether it’s an amazing fiction series with excellent writing and character development, or journalism with honesty and integrity, we all need sincerity and substance at any age to maintain some substance in our lives.
2. “Old people” hobbies and pursuits.
Hobbies, especially creative ones, have no specific age limits. As long as a person is capable of using the tools and other materials needed for these pursuits, then they’re viable, fun options.
For example, both my partner and I were into things that were considered to be “old people” pastimes when we were very young. She liked knitting and embroidery, whereas I spent a lot of time birdwatching and whittling. You can only imagine how much fuel this offered our peers as far as mockery was concerned.
Forty years later, we’ve come a long way in our respective crafting skills and take as much joy in them as we did when we were kids. Furthermore, these pursuits have been as useful to us as they have been engaging and relaxing. There’s simply no age range on these pastimes, so please don’t feel deflected when somebody puts your passion down for being old hat.
3. Peace and quiet.
One huge thing that you should be allowed to want at literally any age is the ability to get a bit of sacred peace and quiet on a regular basis. It’s very difficult to reflect upon what you’ve learned, or even the things you’ve experienced that day, when someone else has seemingly made it their life mission to talk at you unceasingly.
When others are constantly intruding upon your space, demanding output and responses when you just want quiet to get your own “internal house” in order, it can be excruciating. Adults and young people alike need space to be able to retreat to — both at home and in neutral third spaces like libraries, cafes, and community centers.
4. Fun.
Other than height requirements on certain rollercoasters, so you don’t fly out and create a lawsuit, there are no parameters on age when it comes to having fun. Strangely, there’s a common misconception that older people either don’t want to have fun anymore or that it’s “cringe” for them to want to do so. Fun seems to be reserved for the young, and even then, there seem to be stipulations on the type of fun that’s allowed at various ages.
For example, it’s generally acceptable for younger people to have fun by playing games, attending concerts and festivals, and going on road trips. Meanwhile, older folks are relegated to board games, bird watching, and museum trips. In reality, any of these activities can (and should!) be enjoyed by those whose hearts they fill, regardless of their numerical age, without judgment or condemnation.
5. Doing things without drama.
Not every pursuit in your life needs to be wrapped up in acres of red tape and unceasing drama. A perfect example is a no-strings-attached physical relationship. These are usually seen as normal (albeit looked down upon) for young people who are still figuring out who they are and what they want, but a lot of people judge older individuals very harshly if they have the audacity to just want fun instead of an intense, committed relationship.
We aren’t immortal, and life is too short for dramatic BS. Behave well and with accountability, yet remember that fatalistic aspect of memento mori so that you can enjoy things fully while you can.
If other people give you a hard time for wanting to keep things light instead of dealing with blended families, personal dramas, and having to answer texts at 3 a.m., that’s a good sign that you need to distance yourself from them and their drama as well.
6. Sovereignty.
Whether you’re a kid at the mercy of your parents’ whims or a senior struggling to retain your autonomy from your adult children, we all need and deserve sovereignty. Whatever your age, if someone is pushing for control over any aspect of your affairs, you should swiftly put them in their place. How would they feel if you suddenly started dictating the terms of their life to them? You would most likely get an immediate and significant pushback in response.
There are, of course, mitigating factors. Most children (to an extent) need a guiding hand, and sadly, some older folks tend to lose their faculties as they get on in years. But it’s also true that vulnerabilities get weaponized as excuses by others who are eager to take control. Whether a young person wants emancipated minor status to live on their own terms, or an octogenarian wants to remain at home instead of being relegated to a care facility, these freedoms are completely understandable and shouldn’t be judged by anyone.
7. Financial responsibility and freedom.
This doesn’t sound like something that anyone would judge another for, but it happens. Quite often, if a young person is deciding to be frugal rather than going on a big trip, buying a car, etc., they’re called stupid, cautious downers by those who wish they had more disposable income to play with. In contrast, they’ll respect fiscal responsibility in an older person but will decry them for being frivolous if they go on a big trip, buy a sports car, and so on.
People often get very invested in how others spend their money and consider it a personal affront if what you do with your money doesn’t align with what they want or prioritize. They may go so far as to take your choice as a personal attack and feel the need to convince you otherwise.
8. Physical pursuits.
Much like the other types of fun we mentioned earlier, physical pursuits don’t have age limits either way. Some may not be as wise as others if joints are loose and bones are a bit more brittle and prone to breaking, but people should be allowed to pursue whatever physical interests they have, at any age, without being judged for it.
If an older person wants to run a marathon, skate, or surf, then why not? That’s their choice, and they know their physical capabilities more than anyone else. Similarly, if a young person wants to play golf, badminton, lawn bowling, or curling, then they should be free to do so as well without anyone mocking them for liking “geriatric stuff”.
9. Not to work.
There are very few people on this planet who dream of labor. In fact, if you’re anything like the billions of people around the world who are simply working to survive rather than because they’re passionate about their careers, then you’re likely looking forward to retirement.
It’s not unreasonable for any human being not to want to work anymore. In fact, it often feels like a cruel joke to many people that they have to “earn” a living when they didn’t ask to be born in the first place. A young person who doesn’t want to spend 40 years as a wage slave shouldn’t be seen with any more contempt than a 60-year-old who’s celebrating their freedom from workplace servitude.
Yes, most of us will need to work to fund our living, but there’s nothing wrong with viewing work as simply a means to an end and refusing to go above and beyond in order to preserve your energy for the things that truly matter to you.
Final thoughts…
Age shouldn’t be the determining factor for the things you engage in and discover in life. Young people may have the opportunity to try things that their parents or grandparents didn’t try out until their later years, and their elders might be able to try things that didn’t exist when they were growing up.
There is no age limit on joy. As long as your pursuits aren’t causing harm to others or infringing on their personal freedoms, then you should be allowed to want (and partake in!) whatever brings you joy. Let the haters wallow in their own misery.
