Quite a lot of us have had things in mind that we’ve really wanted to do, but were too afraid to pursue for one reason or another. Furthermore, we convinced ourselves that the fears we’d been experiencing about it would dissipate as soon as the right time arrived for us to make this dream or goal a reality.
But how would we know when all the stars aligned to let us know that the right time had arrived? While a big booming voice saying “NOW” would be a great indicator, the signs listed here are the next best thing.
1. The obstacles holding you back have been removed.
In the past, you might have had good reasons for not doing this thing because you didn’t have enough time, money, energy, or space to pursue it. Alternatively, you may not have been able to do it because you were taking care of small children who needed all your time and attention, your spouse or parents needed extra support, and so on.
Suddenly, you come to the epiphany that all the stumbling blocks that prevented you from doing this are gone. Your kids are either old enough to take care of themselves or have grown up and moved out, you’ve saved up enough money to more than cover the expenses you need, and your time is your own to use as you wish.
All the obstacles that had previously prevented you from doing this thing have gone, and the only thing left is your anxiety about doing it. Though it’s scary to make a change, the clear path in front of you is a lot more appealing than remaining at the empty crossroads with the empty shadow of your own fear forever.
2. You’re consumed by thoughts about it.
You may find yourself constantly thinking about the thing you’ve been afraid to do, and a significant number of your daily choices revolve around it. You may discover that you’ve been subconsciously watching videos or absorbing other media on the subject, and it’s usually the main thing you want to talk about when chatting with others. It might be the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you muse about before you go to sleep.
This is a massive sign that you’re ready to take the leap and pursue this thing. You’ve gotten to the point where your desire to pursue it thoroughly outweighs the fears that have been holding you back, and the only thing that will exorcise the thoughts and emotions that consume you is to make it a reality.
3. You experience a ton of synchronicities about it.
When things are aligning to tell you that it’s time to do the thing you’ve been too afraid of, you may find that you suddenly get hit with synchronicities about it from all directions. This can include doors opening unexpectedly that are completely aligned with this goal or pursuit.
Before you discard it as woo-woo nonsense, it’s actually a well-documented neurological phenomenon: your Reticular Activating System (RAS) — the part of your brain that filters what you pay attention to — begins prioritizing information related to what you deeply desire, which is why these meaningful coincidences seem to appear out of nowhere once your goal is truly on your radar.
I experienced something like this when I was shifting from event management to music journalism. I’d been terrified of taking the plunge and pursuing that path, especially since I’d had so little experience with it. Suddenly, I was getting requests from random people asking me if I’d cover a concert or do an interview with a band for their magazine, website, etc. Someone even invited me to host a weekly radio show and a DJ set less than an hour after meeting me.
These were all solid clues that it was absolutely The Right Time to do The Thing, even though I was still nervous and wary of doing so. (Gentle reader, it was one of the best things I had ever done, and I’m immensely grateful that I was brave enough to do so.)
4. The excuses you made in the past for not doing The Thing no longer apply.
While there are often genuine obstacles that prevent us from doing The Thing, which we’ve already discussed, sometimes the obstacles we come up with are actually just excuses.
These excuses often stem from our various fears (e.g., failure, humiliation, judgment from others, and so on) and are used to shield ourselves from potential suffering. Some might not be entirely irrational, especially if we’ve experienced negative judgment in the past, but we still give them more weight than they deserve. These protective barriers we put up can trap us in a place of fearful stagnation, even as they seem to keep us from outer harm.
But when none of the excuses you’ve been using to date are still valid (or you can view them objectively and realize they never really were), it’s time to do this thing.
For example, you might have said that you weren’t smart or skilled enough before, but your accomplishments to date say otherwise. Perhaps the people you were afraid would mock you or sabotage your efforts are no longer in your life, or you simply aren’t prepared to let them hold you back anymore. It might have been too soon after a major loss or life change, but now enough time has elapsed that this isn’t an issue anymore.
5. Someone far less capable than you has done it.
Few things can bolster a person’s confidence about attempting something quite like realizing that someone who’s far less capable than they are has achieved what they’ve been aching to do. Discovering that one of your acquaintances or in-laws who lacks your skills hasn’t just attempted this thing you’ve been too afraid to do, but aced it, can light a fire under you like little else.
Furthermore, it can help to dispel the fears you’ve had surrounding this endeavor. The thing that holds most people back from chasing their dreams is the fear of potential failure or embarrassment. As such, seeing someone far less capable than you achieve this thing with ease can dispel a *startling* amount of one’s fear of failure almost instantly. You know just how smart and capable you are, so there’s little, if anything, to worry about here.
6. A switch has flipped inside you.
Many people have experienced this sort of thing when in unhealthy relationships: all of a sudden, without any warning, something just shifts inside them and changes their perspective and stance about the partnership.
Instead of seeing their toxic partner as a loved one, they now see them for the jerk they really are. As a result, they no longer have any qualms about ending that relationship and walking away, when they would have been too afraid to do that just a day or so before.
Something similar can happen in just about any circumstance. One day, you’re fretting anxiously because you’re too nervous to do The Thing that your heart is yearning for, and the next, that shift happens, and you can’t understand why you were ever afraid to begin with.
7. You’re much more comfortable with the risks involved.
Every life stage and experience comes with different levels of fear revolving around the risks we take during them. For example, a small child may feel intense fear and trepidation about going down the big slide at the park; a fear that wouldn’t faze a teenager at all. Of course, that same teenager may be afraid of driving on a highway for the first time, but someone in midlife does so daily without a second thought.
You might have felt too afraid to do the Thing you’ve been dreaming about up until this point because the risks involved might have been too big and scary for you to countenance. Now, however, those risks don’t seem nearly as intimidating as they were just a short while ago.
You’re less afraid of failing, you aren’t worried about what others think, and you’re secure in the knowledge that any misstep would be a valuable learning experience rather than a devastating blow to your ego. Furthermore, you may recognize that the price of not doing it would be far more devastating than potentially messing it up and having to start over again.
Final thoughts…
When interviewed about the things they regret most about their lives, most elderly people say that they deeply regret all the things they were too afraid of pursuing when they had the chance.
In simplest terms, few people lie on their deathbed wishing they had played it safer, or regretting the risks they took in pursuit of things that were important to them. If you’ve been experiencing the signs listed here, do pay attention to them: they’re letting you know in no uncertain terms that there’s no time like right now to do The Thing.
