Many people don’t recognize that they’re in survival mode when they’re stuck in it. This is because they’re so focused on simply getting through the day that they don’t realize just how badly it’s affecting them.
Their entire lives revolve around work, paying bills, buying food, and keeping their heads above water.
There’s no denying that it’s very difficult to break free from a situation like this: doing so requires significant life adjustments.
However, if you can manage them, the behaviors below can help make enough change happen that you can break free from simply surviving and begin living again.
1. Treating sleep and relaxation as a scheduled responsibility, not a luxury.
Unfortunately, when we’re locked into survival mode, we’re often run so ragged that we don’t get a chance to wind down and rest properly. Even if we get several hours’ worth of sleep every night, we still feel exhausted when we wake up.
As such, one of the key things needed to break free from survival mode is to create more balance in your schedule.
Of course, this can be easier said than done, especially if you’re time-poor and your schedule is packed full of responsibilities.
Perhaps you’re working, and after that, you have kids and/or chores to deal with until 10 pm or so.
But to break out of survival mode, you have to accept that rest is also one of those responsibilities.
Sleep, rest, and relaxation time have to be added to that schedule as well. Otherwise, they’ll either be pushed to the back of the queue as being of least importance, or disregarded entirely.
Those who recover from survival mode recognize that they cannot simply push through exhaustion. Decompression has to be prioritized with the same diligence as work and other obligations.
They may decompress in a nearby park on their lunch break every day (even if just for 15 minutes), or ensure that the last twenty minutes of the day are spent journaling or reading.
The same applies to sleep.
When I was clawing my way out of survival mode, I actually slept more like 11 hours per night than the recommended 8, and I also made sure that my evenings were spent reading and knitting by soft light, away from screens and other distractions.
After a couple of months of doing that, I felt much more grounded, and able to handle just about anything, rather than being constantly on edge and overwhelmed by everything.
2. Interrupting the vicious cycle of convenience consumption.
Regulating our nervous systems and physical selves requires a lot more than just healthier sleep.
For instance, when we’re in survival mode, we often eat foods that are quick and convenient to prepare because we don’t have the time or wherewithal to cook.
That’s completely understandable, but it can lead to nutritional deficiencies, which will impact our mental and physical health even more, making us even more depleted.
It becomes a vicious cycle that’s difficult to break.
Those who do manage to break free from survival mode know that they need to build their strength back from the ground up.
This means consuming healthy nutrients as often as possible instead of consuming whatever is accessible to merely stopping hunger.
This doesn’t mean you need to cook meals from scratch every day if that’s not practical, but even switching to more nourishing snacks like fresh fruit, nuts, hummus and veg sticks, eggs, or beans on toast can begin to interrupt the cycle.
The same goes for social media, music, TV shows, and so on. Nourish body, mind, and spirit properly, as regularly as you can manage, rather than defaulting to tasty-but-hollow fillers as distractions.
3. Task delegation.
A lot of people end up in survival mode because of the sheer amount of responsibility they’ve had on their own shoulders for so long.
Perfect examples of these would be single parents who have to juggle work and childcare, and those with chronic health conditions who are so shattered by the amount of energy needed for work that they’re already overwhelmed by the time it comes to sorting out home obligations as well.
This is where befriending task delegation comes in handy.
That single parent can assign age-appropriate chores to their kids to lighten their own loads, for example. And those who are overwhelmed at work need to assign tasks they don’t absolutely have to handle on their own to employees and subordinate colleagues.
Sharing the load with others, wherever possible, is the only way you can rebuild your own energy stores, rather than having them perpetually depleted.
4. Finding alternate sources for essentials.
One of the main contributing factors to survival mode for many people is a lack of financial resources.
Many people stuck in survival mode are there because they only have enough money to pay their rent and basic bills, and then don’t have much left for food, clothing, and other essentials.
Something that helps in this regard is finding other sources for these items.
For example, there’s no shame in visiting a food bank if that will take the pressure off buying groceries that week.
Dollar stores often have more affordable options for things like laundry detergent and cooking staples, and many store apps offer coupons for free (or greatly reduced) items.
Cutting costs like these won’t immediately fix things, but they can alleviate some financial stress over time.
5. Emotional regulation via physical activity.
It’s a well-known fact that physical activity helps our emotional and mental wellbeing. It releases “happy hormones”, alleviates anxiety, and keeps the body in good working order.
Unfortunately, many people who have been stuck in survival mode for some time place exercise as a low priority because life’s many other tasks and responsibilities take precedence.
That’s understandable, but it can intensify the burnout because there’s no outlet to release cortisol buildup from high stress and anxiety.
As such, those who manage to break free from survival mode invariably find some type of physical activity that has allowed them to release a lot of the repressed tension they’ve been carrying with them.
Every person’s means of emotion regulation will be different, so the key is to find what works for them. For example, one person may find great catharsis in running, while another prefers yoga, weight training, or simply dancing around the house to their favorite songs.
6. Self-isolation.
When a person has been in survival mode for ages, they often can’t remember the last time they had any time to themselves.
Their entire existence has revolved around obligations and other people’s demands, and they may not have had any alone time for years.
As a result, they recognize just how important it is to take time away from all the things that were draining them in order to ground themselves and regroup.
Whilst it would be great to go on solo trips to some faraway destinations or spiritual retreats, this isn’t practical for most.
Instead, they settle for asking those around them to leave them alone for 20 minutes (ideally each day if possible), so they can begin to recover and focus on getting back to themselves again.
7. Asking for help.
Some of the things on this list require time and effort to put into place, such as finding alternate sources, delegating tasks, and so on.
And when time and energy are limited, the mere thought of putting these things into action can seem utterly overwhelming.
This is why it’s important for people to not only admit to themselves that they’re too shattered to handle these things alone, but to let those around them know that they need help.
There is no shame in asking for assistance when it’s needed.
In the same way that you would eagerly help loved ones if they asked, others feel the same way about helping you in turn. And if you don’t have close friends and family members available, there are many aid organizations who may be able to offer assistance.
Final thoughts…
There are always tasks that need to be done. Just when we think that we’ve caught up on the dishes, office work, chores, bills, etc., more need to be taken care of.
But if we allow others to help ensure that the wood pile and pantry are stocked, and that there’s food on the table, then we have more time to rest and replenish ourselves.
If you’re stuck in survival mode and you need to break free, consider putting some of these behaviors into action, and crucially, ask for help wherever and whenever you can.
If you’re able to put these things into place, they can undoubtedly help you regain equilibrium so you have the strength to move forward.
