Realizing you’ve fallen out of love with your life is a little bit like realizing you’re no longer in love with your partner. It happens gradually, and there are usually a number of signs that point to this shift in feelings, which are easy to overlook unless you pay attention to them.
Often, the signs are so subtle that they may go unnoticed until they amalgamate into a billboard that you can’t ignore anymore. As such, if you catch any of the following appearing in your life, be warned: they’re trying to tell you something.
9 small signs that you’ve fallen out of love with your life:
1. You feel very little joy doing things that used to inspire and move you.
You may feel a nagging sense of ennui gnawing at the back of your mind, but you aren’t able to pinpoint it exactly. It just seems like nothing much seems to brighten your mood anymore.
You may pick up a game, a book, a favorite musical instrument, or even make plans to go out to see your friends. This pursuit may be fun for the first five minutes or so, but then everything seems to go a bit grey again.
This may manifest as a specific sign or symptom in your body. In my case, I know when something in my life isn’t resonating with me anymore when the music I love doesn’t move me anymore, or when my favorite foods seem flavorless.
If the things that you usually enjoy have lost their luster, and you don’t feel like partaking in cherished endeavors anymore, that’s often a broader signal you need to pay attention to.
2. You’re experiencing simmering resentment at everything.
This can be really confusing, especially if others think that you have an amazing life.
Outsiders would see everything you have and assume that you’re quite happy with your lot, but you feel a burning resentment at everything and everyone around you, and you can’t pinpoint exactly why. It’s like a low, simmering rumble at the back of your mind at all times.
The best way to describe it is like wearing beautiful clothes that make you feel claustrophobic. They look incredible, but they’re making you itch, they don’t fit you properly, and you’re looking forward to the moment when you can tear them off and change into something more comfortable.
But you don’t have another change of clothes to slip into: you’re stuck in these.
3. You find yourself getting envious or angry towards people who are living the life you’d rather have.
If you discover another person who’s living the kind of life that you’d rather have, you may feel irrational envy or anger towards them.
Even if you don’t voice your feelings, your internal dialogue may consist of finding things to criticize about them.
This is a behavior that chronically unhappy people everywhere tend to engage in, as putting someone down who is happier than they are can make them feel better about themselves and their current circumstances.
Logically, rationally, you know you’re being ridiculous. Whether your reactions are towards someone you care about or someone you don’t know at all, you realize that your anger or bitterness is unwarranted.
You’re just so unhappy on numerous levels, but you can’t seem to pinpoint why yet.
4. You find yourself daydreaming about all the lives you’d rather be living.
Once upon a time, the life you have now might have been everything you dreamed of having. But times and people change.
Maybe you were happy once, but that sheen has worn off over the years to the point where now, you find that you’re daydreaming about all the other paths you could have taken, or could still take.
You imagine what your life might be like if you had taken them, and try to determine whether you still have the time, energy, and finances to pursue any of those alternate paths.
They may feel like idle daydreams, but on a fundamental level, you’re looking for a potential escape.
5. You avoid talking about your life when people ask you about it.
You’re likely veering away from your own life on an unconscious level, so when others ask you something about it, you feel an instant, knee-jerk desire to change the subject and quickly move on from it.
Essentially, talking about your life requires you to focus on it, which is something you’d rather not do.
If you’re enduring your existence rather than loving it, then the last thing you want to do is talk about all the things that are causing you grief or distress — especially if other people keep telling you how lucky you are and asking about all the juicy details about your supposedly blessed dream life.
6. You’re constantly engaging in escapism.
If you’ve fallen out of love with your life, then it’s likely that you try to escape it in various ways.
For example, you may try to distract yourself with a variety of different pursuits. Depending on what kind of person you are, this might involve things like throwing yourself into new endeavors to be passionate about for a while until you lose interest again.
Alternatively, you may choose to travel a lot so you’re away from home as often as possible. And if you can’t travel, you may choose escapism in other forms.
One person might attend concerts or other shows regularly, where they drink and have fun until the wee hours of the morning, while others might immerse themselves in TV series, hobbies, or workaholism.
7. You feel an overall sense of numbness.
At times, you may feel as though you barely experience any emotion at all. You may find it very hard to figure out how you feel about anything, as you’ve essentially disconnected from the life that you’re living.
Whereas before you might have felt strong waves of joy, sorrow, excitement, anger, and so on, all of your emotions are now various shades of beige.
Your response to this epiphany may go one of two ways: you may start to increase stimuli incrementally in the hope of feeling things again, or you might allow yourself to sink further into numbness and disassociate even more.
8. Alternatively, you may become more emotional.
Whereas you might have spent years being relatively emotionally stable, the tiniest things may now set you off into crying fits or waves of incendiary rage.
You may find yourself snapping at your kids for breathing too loudly or getting defeated by unruly laundry or jars that stubbornly refuse to open.
It’s most unlike you to cry in the shower or throw things in anger, but these behaviors are now popping up on a regular basis.
You might also have stronger-than-usual responses to things you see on TV or social media. For instance, you might see an image of a dead animal or a sad child as you’re scrolling, and you get overwhelmed with emotion at the sight of it.
9. You’re self-sabotaging (either intentionally or subconsciously).
Instead of tackling the duties that are on your plate, you may find every possible reason to avoid doing them. Similarly, if things are going well between you and your partner, you may find yourself causing drama to pick a fight.
You’re essentially knocking down the support pillars of the life that’s making you unhappy in the hope of causing it to collapse indirectly. In doing so, you create the opportunity to escape it, without taking direct action to blow it all up yourself. You have a valid excuse for rebuilding from scratch again, rather than being vilified by those around you for ruining what they think was your dream life.
Final thoughts…
If you experience any of these signs, don’t ignore them. They’re trying to tell you that something needs to change in your life, even though you may be scared to admit that.
Change is never easy, and it’s often “simpler” to remain in a situation that’s upsetting you rather than taking a risk. But this is the point at which you need to remember that we don’t have an endless amount of time left on this beautiful planet.
Do you want to spend yours enduring your existence? Or celebrating it?
