We don’t normally recognize the growing process while we’re going through it. You may not remember what it felt like to have a growth spurt when you were young, for example. You may have felt some stretching pain now and then, but one day you woke up and realized that you were an inch taller than before.
As such, you may not recognize when you’re in the process of outgrowing the old you, either, but there are some distinct signs to look out for. What’s more, they are powerful indicators that your life is about to get a whole lot better.
1. Things that used to really emotionally challenge you hardly faze you anymore.
We all have our triggers, whether they’re things that make us angry or that cause instant waves of anxiety. These are sometimes caused by past traumas, but other times they can be reflections of current stresses.
However, when your life is on the verge of changing for the better because of the personal growth you’ve achieved, you’ll suddenly discover that many things that used to trigger or upset you simply don’t bother you anymore.
For example, the stress and grief you’ve been dealing with about your difficult relationship may have disappeared, so you have no qualms about moving on from it. Similarly, anxiety you may have been having about some aspect of your life doesn’t affect you anymore: you know that there are several paths forward that you can take. You’re full of confidence, even if you aren’t sure where it’s all coming from.
2. Few of your belongings feel “right” anymore.
You may find yourself looking around at your home decor, your furniture, even your dishware, and realizing that you can’t stand any of it. Items that you loved for years may now be hideous or otherwise unappealing to you, and every outfit you wear feels “wrong” somehow.
You’re shedding your old skin and outgrowing many things that you once held dear. This process may feel uncomfortable, especially if the items you’ve turned to for comfort no longer offer that to you anymore, but it opens up opportunities for you to discover new things that bring you joy and solace.
3. A pressing — even uncomfortable — urge to be a completely different person.
One of my favorite quotes by Anais Nin is: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I came across it when I experienced a life metamorphosis after my divorce, and it resonated with me on a soul-deep level. I had felt so trapped and smothered in my previous life situation that remaining there would have been far more painful than the transition to single life could have ever been.
When I was going through that experience, I realized that I had been pretending to be something I wasn’t for several years — behaving as though I was happy in the role I was playing, happy with the person I was with, happy with how I looked, the foods I ate, the activities I partook in, and so on.
After I left that marriage, I became a completely different version of myself; one who bore no resemblance to the woman I had been. As uncomfortable as that shift was, it brought an immense sense of satisfaction and “rightness” and opened countless doors that would have never been open to me had I remained.
4. An old long-term goal or passion project no longer interests you.
Have you ever been in the middle of a project and realized that you had no interest in continuing it? Or you’ve been working hard to achieve a goal that had always been important to you, only to discover that you no longer cared if you ever achieved it or not?
One of the biggest signs that you’re outgrowing the old version of yourself is that the things that you once held dear, or that you enjoyed, have now lost their lustre. You aren’t the same person who started those pursuits, and the one you’re transforming into doesn’t align with them anymore. Rather than mourning the loss of this old life, see it as an amazing opportunity to start a new life, full of exciting, fulfilling new opportunities and experiences.
5. You’re suddenly reevaluating your relationships.
Maybe you’ve been getting together with the same group of people regularly for decades. All of a sudden, you feel uncomfortable in their company. It either feels like your conversations are hollow and superficial, or that your responses to them are insincere. Instead of feeling comfortable and confident in their presence, you feel like you can’t be yourself with them at all. This discomfort may even extend to your romantic relationship.
Essentially, your interactions now feel as wrong and awkward as clothes that don’t fit you anymore. You don’t feel comfortable with these people, and you realize that you’d rather spend time with those who are better aligned with your values, interests, and overall personality. Getting to know a new tribe and forming new bonds with them is much more fulfilling than having to tolerate those you’ve outgrown.
6. You are often in a really bad mood.
Like a hermit crab outgrowing its shell, the experience that precedes dramatic and rapid evolution is a time of itchy, annoying, and potentially painful metamorphosis. It’s difficult to maintain a chipper demeanor when you’re achy and irritable, especially if that experience is prolonged.
As a result, you may find that you’re in a bad mood a lot of the time for no specific reason. You may snap at those around you more easily, or feel a general sense of irritability at everything around you. Sounds and scents that didn’t bother you before are now incredibly annoying, and you may feel the pressing urge to run away from it all.
This is completely normal and is often a sign that what’s unfolding is going to be much better, brighter, and more fulfilling than what you’ve been enduring up until now.
7. You’re searching for new ideas and experiences.
The old you might have been comforted by reliable, solid sameness, but the new you that you’re evolving into is utterly sick of dealing with the same thing day after day. What had previously brought you solace now fills you with ennui. Instead of looking forward to meatloaf on Monday or Friday night movies, perhaps you’re aching for Ethiopian fare and a live music concert instead.
Essentially, the comfort zone you’ve been living in for years has now become more of a stifling cage, and your every molecule is trying to gnaw its way free of it. So you’re reading new books and watching new films, trying cuisines you’ve never tasted before, booking flights to countries you’ve always dreamed of visiting. You’re craving novel experiences, and can’t bear the thought of another Taco Tuesday with the bowling team you’ve been wanting to quit for years.
8. Self-care becomes a priority.
You may have spent years taking care of other people and prioritizing their needs ahead of your own, and you’ve reached the point where you’re no longer willing or able to keep doing so. As such, you’re setting boundaries and putting your foot down in terms of where your energy is being funneled, with self-care as your highest priority.
For example, you may be craving more peace, quiet, and alone time, and make it clear to everyone around you that you’re no longer available after 8 p.m., nor on weekends. That’s your time, and it’s not to be disturbed.
Furthermore, those in your life who have been relying upon you too heavily now need to sort themselves out rather than depleting your reserves for their benefit. All the time, energy, and other resources that have been drawn from you for years are now yours to use as you will. And you’ll use them to great effect for your own benefit.
Final thoughts…
Change always brings about a certain amount of upheaval and uncertainty. Because of this, a lot of people are tempted to withdraw from the challenges ahead in favor of comfortable complacency, even if it smothers them.
If you’re experiencing the signs listed here, you’re transforming into an amazing new version of yourself, with extraordinary experiences ahead of you. Let go, allow yourself to transform into this new you, and watch how your life becomes so much better, in ways you might have never imagined.
