I don’t think anyone from their twenties upwards, regardless of gender, can put their hand on their heart and honestly say the thought hasn’t crossed their mind.
They’d be lying if they said they’ve never experienced a moment of worry that they might never find love.
For some lucky people, it might just be that, a fleeting moment that passes them by.
For some of us, however, this topic can weigh pretty heavily on our minds, particularly as time marches on by and there’s no sign of Mr or Ms Right on the horizon.
We ask “why can’t I find love?” or “why doesn’t anyone love me?” or “will I ever find true love?”
Or we think/say things like “I can’t get a date to save my life” and “I can’t get a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
These thoughts are natural given the society we live in. In most cultures, forming long-term monogamous relationships is what’s expected of us. We’re conditioned from day one to think that our one aim in life should be partnering off and settling down.
But we also know, deep down, that romantic love isn’t and shouldn’t be the be all and end all of life.
There are so many reasons to be optimistic. Optimistic that someone will come along when the time is right; optimistic that you’ll have a great time until they do; and optimistic that if they don’t, you’ll be just fine.
You already know all of the reasons below, but a little reminder of them now and again can’t hurt. Here are a just a few reasons to believe your glass is definitely half full.
1. Age Doesn’t Matter
You might well roll your eyes at this one, but it’s true! Age is just a number and has absolutely no effect on your ability to meet someone. Simple as that. Moving on.
2. There’s No Such Thing As ‘The One’
Yes, I’m going there. I’m a firm believer that there being only one person in the world with whom we could ever be happy is a complete myth, constructed to make us all panic, get into the box that’s been made for us and conform to society’s norms.
If you’ve ever been in love, you’ll know that it’s easy to feel like the object of your affections is the only person in the world for you, and that you have no chance of ever being happy with anyone else.
That’s mostly thanks to the hormones that rage inside you when you’re in love, and as you’ll all well know, hormones can make you pretty crazy.
Think about it logically, though. There are over seven billion people in this world. Sure, you (probably) aren’t attracted to one of the sexes, and age will mean a good chunk of those people are either too old or too young. Even so, you’re still looking at half a billion options, at least.
That’s an extremely large ocean with one hell of a lot of fish in it.
There isn’t just ONE of those fish that you could possibly be happy with. People just aren’t that special and that individual, I hate to break it to you.
Stop thinking of looking for love like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you’ll be much more open to finding it where you’d least expect.
3. You’re Growing Every Day
A huge reason for optimism is that with every day you’re single, you get to know yourself a little better. It gives you time to accept yourself and figure out the kind of life you really want to live.
That means you’ve got a better chance of eventually picking a partner that’s actually right for you in the long term, if and when they come along.
Every day that you’re able to grow lessens your chances of throwing in your lot with the wrong person and getting swept up in a relationship that you wouldn’t get caught up in or seduced by if you were just a little older and wiser.
Better alone than in poor company, after all.
4. You’ve Got High Standards
If you’re worried about the fact you’ll never find love, then chances are your high standards have got something to do with your single status.
Never lower them. Too many people settle for something they’re not really sure about, just because they don’t want to be alone.
Knowing your worth and not settling for anything less than the best is the basis for a fulfilled life, whether or not a partner features in it.
Katie splits her time between writing and translation. She writes about travel and self-care and never stays in one place for too long. She’s currently based in beautiful Cornwall, England, after long stints in Brazil and Mexico. She spends her free time trail running, exploring and devouring vegan food.